I recently turned down two invitations from my high school friends.

The first was my goddaughter’s debut last December. I was genuinely looking forward to it—the last time I saw her was in 2009.

But that day fell on a work shift in my new job, where I’m still under probation. I had already incurred a few absences due to family matters, and I knew I couldn’t risk another one.

The second invitation was a wedding here in the Philippines. The couple had already gotten married in the UK, and the local celebration was scheduled for January 3. I was asked to RSVP by mid-December, and at that time, I was still scheduled to be on duty. I explained my situation, and my friend understood. Later on, I found out that I could have reported to work on January 5 instead. As much as I wanted to tell her I was suddenly free, I also thought about how they might have already finalized their guest list. I didn’t want to be an inconvenience to newlyweds who had enough on their plate.

These moments made me realize how different life is now compared to when I was in my late 20s. Back then, I would drop everything to attend a friend’s event. Life felt simpler. I had my parents helping care for my firstborn. I didn’t yet have two younger children who required hands-on parenting. I also didn’t carry the weight of a managerial role, where decisions, or mistakes, had real operational consequences, and where there was always a manager above me to step in if things went wrong.

It’s not that I value my friends any less now. If that were the case, I wouldn’t feel this quiet sense of loss from not being there. The truth is, even though we are the same age, our responsibilities have grown in different directions. And sometimes, I wish for a season where I can finally catch up with them—without checking duty schedules, leave credits, or family logistics.

Life happens. Careers evolve. Family responsibilities take precedence.
But in my heart and mind, my friends still matter—and I hope they know that.