The World of Second Chances

He So Loves Children

August 23, 2008

Life & Love

Miel is very fond of kids. He loves my two-year-old niece. That girl is very much a brat! She loves playing pranks on her sitter. Miel aims to “tame” her. Lol! Miel loves my daughter, too. He treats her like his own. But his greatest dream is to have our Brad next year. Brad is the name of our future baby.

Pregnancy thoughts keep me occupied since Wednesday. I knew I was not careful with my pregnancies before. The first one resulted to a healthy baby though. The second pregnancy was not successful, a blighted ovum as the OB-Gyne said.

It was not accidental why it was unsuccessful. I was not careful at that time. It left me scarred with regrets and painful memories. Miel asked me to forget all the bad things that happened to me. I told him that I fear not being able to give him a child. He said that my fears are baseless, that I am healthy, ovulating and will be a mother again next year.

I was with two men who feared the responsibilities of being a father. Then now, I am with Miel who so love to be a father not just to our future kid but to my kid as well.
Meet My Parents

August 21, 2008

Wedding & Family Life

“Honey, pasenya ka na kung parang madaming usisero sa atin. Ganun yata pag friendly ang tao, maraming gustong makaalam ng nangyayari sa buhay ko,” I explained to Miel as he was reading my text messages from friends and acquaintances who learned about our engagement.

He said that he’s not used to that kind of attention. Ever since we became a couple, his private life was exposed to people with different intentions of knowing the why’s and the how’s in our relationship. I told him that he could always remain discreet of his private life without offending them.

I know where his discomfort is coming from. He’s just a simple person with a limited crowd. His crowd belongs mainly to his religious affiliation. On the other hand, I grew up exposed to different crowds: politicos, religious groups, istambay sa kanto, coño, jologs–name it, I was exposed to it!

His greatest challenge so far is meeting my parents this coming weekends. He’s not used to doing it. He’s been practicing how to speak and act for the pamamanhikan.

Ate Ams gave me some tips for the pamamanhikan. I don’t know if it’s applicable to us. I am just so excited. Ewan ko. This is it! Pray for us!
Joint Friendster Account

August 19, 2008

Life & Love

Miel told me about his Friendster account which his ex-girlfriend made for him. The ex-gf knew his email password and of course, the Friendster log in password. I checked his profile and to my disgust, the ex-gf’s testimonial was still there!

I told Miel about it and asked him to delete it OR I’m gonna add ALL my exes including ex-dates. My Friendster account was clean of ex-bf’s and ex-dates. I got the idea from an ex-bf who never added me on Friendster. That hurt me though.

Miel gave me the go signal to delete his account. I suggested that since we’re getting married soon, then we should have a joint Friendster account. In this way, we would be transparent in our relationship. He could always delete those guys that he doesn’t feel like being in our Friend’s list or I could always reject those girls that I don’t feel like adding in our Friend’s list.

I came from a six-year secretive relationship. It was opaque. I want a transparent relationship with Miel. A relationship that I would feel I’m really part of.
We’re Open

August 18, 2008

Life & Love

I decided to tell Miel how I feel whenever I don’t get his full attention. (see previous post) I was hesitant at first so I assessed what I was really feeling at the time jealousy hit me. I wasn’t really jealous of his previous relationships. I wasn’t really jealous whenever he talks with someone. I wasn’t really jealous of his female friends. I realized, I just wanted his full attention. I realized that I don’t want to feel out of place.

I sent him a text message. It could make or break his day.

Me: Honey, I have something to tell you but I’m not sure how you will react. This is my first time to tell a boyfriend how I feel about something.

He: Okay, tell me.

Me: Honey, it annoys me and sometimes, hurts me whenever I don’t get your full attention. I feel out of place whenever you talk with acquaintances and I’m left in the background.

He: Actually, I feel the same way, too. Now that I know that we both feel the same, I won’t do it anymore. I’m yours exclusively, honey.

Me: You’re not mad? Why are you not mad?

He: It’s better if we tell each other how we feel no matter how good or bad.

Me: I’m not used to it. The last relationship did not allow me to express.

He: I love you, honey. I’m a gentleman. I won’t be dishonest to you.

Me: Thank you, honey.

He: For what?

Me: For loving me.

He: I love you so much.

Me: I so love you, too!

Happy ending. =)
Love Begets Pain

August 16, 2008

Life & Love

I’m not in good mood today. I’m unreasonably jealous of Miel’s past girlfriends. I’m unreasonably jealous whenever he’s talking with someone else. I dunno. It must be my hormones. He assured me that he loves me very much; that we’re already on our wedding preparation.

I remember when I was still not yet in love with him, he was just another date. Now that I’m falling for him each day, I feel so confused. I love him but I want to shield myself from the pains of jealousy.
He Was Never Serious Anyway

August 14, 2008

Life & Love

PV (ex-bf) learned about my wedding engagement. I’m sure he has learned about it from his cousin who’s still very much in touch with me. I confirmed it to him through YM. He’s using a different YM ID every time he talks with me. He says that he can’t afford his girlfriend to discover that he’s still communicating with me. Why the worry? It was she who grabbed PV away from me. She offended me. It was not me who offended her, in the first place.

Ex-bf was negative about my wedding plans. He said that Miel could just be giving me false hopes and promises. I told him that our chapter has long ended when he left me. I told him that now I understand why he had to leave; he was never serious on me anyway. He was defensive. He told me that he was really serious but when he had to make a choice between me and his family, he chose the latter. He chose his family over me even if there was no need of him to do so.

I waited for one year for him to come back. I loved him very much. Much to my surprise, nobody seemed to patch things up for me and him. It was either they knew how much PV wanted to end our relationship or they thought that it was none of their business to meddle, anyway.
My First Time Inside

August 13, 2008

Life & Love

Note: This is a soon-to-be-convert’s personal experience on the joys, hardships and challenges of leaving her old faith for her new faith. This is my journey, I’m not here for a religious debate.

I was a Catholic all my life. I was an obedient Catholic until first year college. I wouldn’t classify myself as a devoted one though. Yes, I believed in the One-God-Three Persons teaching, I was a Marian devotee, our family celebrated fiesta, I attended processions, I commemorated the Holy Week, I celebrated All Saint’s Day, All Soul’s Day and Christmas and last but not the least, I loved puto’t dinuguan!

Miel made me aware that his religion’s view regarding these matters are the exact opposite from my religion. He made me aware about all of these things before he asked me to observe.

It was June 23 when I first saw the interior of the Iglesia Ni Cristo church. I was trembling at the start; afraid and at the same time excited. I was afraid of offending the Catholics because there I was, in the area of the group with their religious faith that was different from ours. I was also excited because that was my first time to get inside the Iglesia. I saw how devoted Miel was for his panata.

I wouldn’t go beyond the details of how the INC church looks inside. I am not sure if the kapatiran is open to that.