I. Pre-Pamamanhikan

Miel prepared well for the pamamanhikan. We started our Sunday by going to the chapel to hear the minister’s text. He seemed so relaxed at the chapel. We met Zaldy, a convert like me. He converted his faith to INC because of his girlfriend. I told him that I had a somewhat similar experience but I decided to be converted not because of Miel but because of my own freewill. After our worship, Miel and I had some doughnuts and coffee at Mr. Donut. It was the best doughnut I ever had because I was with the man that I would soon marry.

We went home to my apartment and prepared the things that we needed for our travel. We took some pictures while inside the bus. We reached home at 12:10 PM. I introduced my fiance’ to my mother, brother and daughter. There was no tension. Everyone was calm. My father was not yet around when we arrived.

Miel and I ate the delicious kare-kare prepared by my mother. It was so yummy; I forgot that I was on a diet. After eating, we went to the living room to join my mother and daughter watching “House of Wax.”

Everyone was consumed on his/her watching; we temporarily forgot what we’re there for. My father arrived and I introduced Miel to him. Miel kissed his hand as a sign of respect. I did not notice if he did the same to my mother earlier.

3:00 PM, we went to the mall to find an internet shop. I could have sent my e-mail on my laptop but the wireless was not functioning well. I introduced Miel to Larry, a neighbor and a childhood acquaintance. Larry runs the internet shop.

We went to have a light snack at Jollibee afterwards. He was amazed at the big number of customers there. After there, we went to buy cake at Goldilocks and ice cream at a grocery store.

At home, he had a chance to bond with Changki. They seemed to get along well. My daughter has been looking for a father figure. She knows that her grandfather is not her father and her real father is not fatherly to her.

II. Pamamanhikan

I could have by-passed my parents in the decision-making for my wedding preparation but being a dutiful daughter and a good Filipino, I followed the tradition. Miel good friend, Ate Jenny, suggested to bring a minister for the pamamanhikan since his father is in Cebu. I told him that we don’t need a minister because my family is Catholic.

After dinner, I asked my then irritable father to sit down with Miel and I for a conversation. (Earlier, Miel was praying very hard for God’s guidance.) My father was mad at the start; my mother was just playing it cool.

Miel said his intention, that is, to formally ask for my hand. My father was unreasonably sarcastic. He was intimidating Miel with his .45 calibre gun. Miel was relaxed. He didn’t show signs of fear or disrespect.  My father did not agree to the February wedding. He said that it was too soon. I told him that I no longer believe in long-term engagement after two failed long-term relationships.

There were three tactics that Miel and I tried to do to persuade my parents:

1. Paawa (Pity-Me Effect) Effect- “My mother is long dead so she won’t disagree to my wedding. My father has his own life, too.” ~ Miel to my father.

2. Taray  Effect -“Pa, you think I’ll buy that long-term engagement thing? I’ve been through two failed long-term relationships but did it work?” ~ me to my father.

3. Pa-guilty Effect- “I have fears of being infertile. What if I couldn’t give him a child? So I need to get married on February!” ~me to my parents.

All those three tactics didn’t work. Their reply?

“What’s the difference between getting married in February and getting married in December?” they both asked.

Me and Miel whispering to each other “We just can’t wait!”

III. The agreement

So my parents did not like a February wedding. They suggested a December wedding. Miel had other plans—a June wedding.

“Honey, December is too long. Let’s make it June,” said Miel to me.

“Okay, we’ll make it June,” I said. I winked at him and proceeded talking with my parents.

IV. Realizations

I learned that Miel loves me very much. As the great Francisco Balagtas said, “O, pag-ibig nasok sa puso ninoman. Hahamakin ang lahat masunod ka lamang!” Miel loves me very much. He would cheat death just to be with me.

I learned that Miel could love his in-laws and my daughter.

I learned that Miel dreams to build his future with me, Changki and our future kid/s.

Most importantly, I learned that I have fallen in love so much with my husband-to-be. 🙂