The World of Second Chances

Di Ako Mama Material

June 25, 2008

Life & Love

I found this link on the net. (http://www.peyups.com/article.khtml?sid=3342) It’s very funny and entertaining so I’m making my own version of it. This is just a fiction.

Tinext ako ng kaibigan ko at tinanong kung sino ang gwapong kasama ko kahapon. Inisip-isip ko pa kung sino nga ba ang kasama ko sa Megamall dahil dalawa sa kaibigan ko ang nagpasama sa akin pagkatapos ng trabaho. Natawa na lang ako dahil hindi ko akalaing big issue pala ang makasama ko ang isang gwapo! Either nagtataka sya kung bakit ako pinatulan o namangha lang sya sa tindig at porma ng mala-atleta kong kasama.

Papaano namang mapagkakamalang kami eh anlaki ng agwat ng hitsura pa lang namin? Nang ipanganak yata ako ay kinulang ako sa tamang sukat at naudlot na ang taas ko sa 5’2 kung ikukumpara sa mga mala-modelong taas ng mga pinsan kong babae. Ang kutis kong namumula-naninilaw na di maarok kung ano ba talaga ay hindi naman kakinisan. Salamat na lamang at nauso na si Belo at Calayan. Ang buhok kong itim ay kailangan pang daanin sa rebond para lang magkaporma. Dadaigin ng bangs ko ang kay Betty La Fea! Naku, self-pity na ba ito? Eh, sa di nga ako mama material, noh!

Sinamahan ko si Craig para sa i-meet ang kaibigan kong type na type daw nya. Sa malas naman ay inindyan sya ng babaeng mama material talaga! Hay, wala akong binatbat pag katabi ko si Cristina! Matangkad, slim, maputi, may ngipin na tuwid at di sungki at napakagandang mukha! Si Cristina na yata ang pinakamaganda sa buong kumpanya!

Sa totoo lang, pantasya ko si Craig na maging papa dati. At ang akala ko’y may pag-asa ako sa kanya. Malay ko ba namang ang every afternoon call pala nya sa akin ay isang estratehiya lang para makuha ang loob ko at mailakad sya kay Cristina. Lokong yun, user! Saan ka ba naman di magkakatipo kay Craig? Sa taas nyang 6’2, sa porma ng katawan at mukha, aba’y lahat mapapalingon at bubulong ng “Nagustuhan sya nun?”

Nakita kong uneasy si Craig sa atensyon. Di na nya ako madispatsa lalo’t wala naman si Cristina. Nagyayang kumain ng pizza na tinanggihan ko naman. Aba, alam ko namang kinahihiya nya ang aking presensya! Mabuti’t sumunod sa mall si Alex na aking barkada.

Nagpaalam na ako kay Craig at kay Alex na sumama. Wala na namang magawa ang Alex kundi mang-alaska.

“Di ka pinansin ni Craig, no?” natatawa nyang sabi.

Sa huli naisip ko, may mga lalaking ang metric ng ideal girl ay yung panalo ang katawan, porma at mukha. Isa na si Craig dun. Hindi ko naman minamasama na ganun ang tipo nya. Naisip ko lang na dapat akong lumagay sa dapat kong kalagyan. Sa isang di mama material na gaya ko, utak at pakikipagkaibigan ang pwede kong i-offer. Gaya ng pagsagot ko sa assignment ng college classmate ko sa Calculus o ang pagiging tulay ko sa mga magaganda kong officemates ngayon. Hay naku, darating din ang araw na magiging uso ang plain looks! Isa lang akong mortal, hindi diyosang gaya ni Cristina!
Jealous Bf

June 25, 2008

Life & Love

My new boyfriend has the habit of checking my text messages. Last night, we almost got into argument because he read a flirty text message from my officemate. He suspected that that guy is also my boyfriend.

“Hon, nagseselos ako pag kung sino-sino nagte-text sa iyo,” naive boyfriend said.

I assured him that he’s the only one and I am not a two-timer. He didn’t give me the usual goodnight kiss; the long and passionate kisses that we’ve been doing for two weeks now. I woke up unusually early and tried to figure out if I am guilty of entertaining suitors inspite of my new relationship.

I didn’t expect that my naive boyfriend would be this serious in our relationship. For me, he was just one of my one-date-men. But then, he said that he has always been in love with me from the day that he first saw me. But I guess, it’s true that I’m falling in love with him. I feel guilty for unintentionally hurting his feelings by being friendly with my admirers.
More Than A Decade Late

June 24, 2008

Life & Love

He went back to her life after 14 years. They were childhood sweethearts. She’s now engaged to her boyfriend of four years. She’s confused. She feels that she loves them both. But he’s more than a decade late to express his love.

I am in a similar position with my officemate. I have someone in my life that I know I can’t be mine because he’s committed to his girlfriend. During the time that he was free, I was the one who was not free. When the time came that I was free, he was the one who was not free. Funny how fate played a trick on us.

Sometimes, when you least expect it, someone better comes into your life even if you’re very much committed to your partner. Fidelity comes first to me than personal satisfaction.There must be a reason why fate played a trick on us. If this world is parallel to another world somewhere, maybe there’s a chance for us to express our feelings where nobody will be hurt and feel betrayed.
Unexpectedly

June 23, 2008

Life & Love

There are times when everything that happens in your life is so unexpected; you
barely have time to think if you are doing the right thing.When it comes to matters
of the heart, I have learned to be wiser after two failed relationships that left me
emotionally broken. There was a time when I thought, I could be single forever and
I wouldn’t really care. But as they say, love is like a thief in the night; you’ll
never know when it will come.

Unexpectedly, I came across this man five years my junior. He was just a casual
acquiantance; we didn’t even start with hi’s and hello’s; just very casual. Until now,
I can’t remember how I met him, how he looked like before and how we treated each
other. But then, we were destined to know each other better.It was so instant; a few
weeks back,he reconnected with me; he smiled at me and I did the same.

When he invited me for dinner, I thought that he was just another one-date-man. (I earned
the reputation of not having second-dates if the first date was not impressive!)
We had a wonderful evening that lead to something deeper and more serious. He divulged
that he has always been in love with me. It was a revelation that surprised me because
he never appeared interested in me.

Then, the unexpected thing happened; I gave him a chance. I told him that after my
traumatic relationships, I am not ready for commitment and true love. He said that he’d
be willing to wait until I’m emotionally settled. Unexpectedly, I didn’t object.

He does things that endear him to me. He’s naive and sweet; very different from the
previous men in my life. He loves me like a teenager who believes in fairy-tales.
I forgot that I was once a teenager, he let me feel again the feeling of being young
and in love.

I am aware that he cannot give me the material comforts that my previous relationships
provided. But is love all about money? Isn’t it about compatibility and happiness?
Isn’t it about co-dependency? Isn’t it about rowing the boat together? Unexpectedly,
I am willing to gamble on him. I am willing to give him a chance to prove himself.
Unexpectedly, I think I am falling in love with him…..
Tuwing Umuulan At Kapiling Ka (Everytime It’s Raining and I’m With You)

June 19, 2008

Life & Love

I was eating in a fastfood chain yesterday with some officemates when my new boyfriend texted me.

“San ka na?” he asked.

I told him that I was on my way to the UP campus with a friend. He told me that I should go home early. I didn’t tell him that I would go to Cyberzone to shop for some items. Earlier, he asked me to bring home something for him; food or anything. He’s still very much a child at heart; innocent and naive.

I shopped for some bedroom items. I passed by the men’s department and decided that the light yellow shirt would look good on him. I put it on my shopping basket and headed towards the cashier.

What the hell is wrong with me? I hated buying clothes for my ex-boyfriends but with the new one, I just felt that he would appreciate.

He texted me while I and my friends were along EDSA. He wanted to make sure that I was safe. He asked who I was with and I said that I was with a male and female officemate. He said that he doesn’t like me car pooling with male officemates or even friends. He set the rules that I dunno if I could follow.

It was starting to drizzle when I got home. I missed him a little that night. He loves me very much, I can feel it. He’s not my ideal man, though. But is love about good impressions, materially-speaking?

I want to be wrapped around his loving arms everytime I hear the raindrops falling. Ewan ko ba bakit ko sya nagustuhan. Siguro dahil mahal na mahal nya ako.
The Closure

June 17, 2008

Life & Love

Letter to my ex-fiance’:

It’s been a long while since we last saw each other. I still remember the day when I last saw you: sad, confused and distant. I thought that it must be the long travel from the South to the Central part of the country.

I went to my parents’ house in the province on that same day, hopeful that things would be much better for the two of us. I texted you and told you how much I was missing you for the past six months of our on-again off-again relationship. You never claimed that it was still a relationship after you decided to let go of me six months earlier. I thought otherwise. I thought that it was just another big fight that I would be willing to swallow my pride and deflate my ego if it would mean total reconciliation for us.

You replied that it was nothing, that your uneasiness was just a mood swing, that everything would just be fine soon. I believed. I believed in everything you said inspite of what the logic said otherwise. I believed in you. I believed that miracles could still happen. Who stole your heart?

It was a long and painful journey to recovery. There were times when I was in denial. There were times when I was just too depressed to carry on with life. (Thanks to Alma and Joel! They made me feel still worthy of living.) I was too scared to lose you. I felt too weak to move on. A part of me said that it was over; a part of me said that we could still go on.

Logically, I knew you were in love with someone else but I could not convince myself that it was real. I never did anything that would make you fall out of love with me. Maybe I was just too naive. Maybe I didn’t took the hint well.

You said that you feel guilty for leaving me. You said that I should find someone better than you. I cried a river when I read your text message about it.

When God closes a door, a window is left opened. I met several dashing bachelors but none of them captured my heart, much more, my interest. I felt that there was no love, only good impression of them.

Along came Miel. He is not as goodlooking as you, not as intelligent as you, not as tall as you, not as fair as you, not as moneyed as you but he loves me so much and accepts me for who I am. I am beginning to feel something for him. It must be love. He visits me in my apartment and my neighbors know him already as my boyfriend. You should see the look in their eyes because they thought that you and me are married!

I want this closure for us. I don’t intend to send this letter to you since you stopped communicating with me. I want to end all my hopes for a reconciliation. I want to give my new man a chance to prove himself. It will not happen if I am still very much hopeful.

Thank you for all the love, the pretensions, the pain, the laughter, the tears— you made me a forgiving person. Thank you for everything.
Her Notting Hill

June 11, 2008

Life & Love

She’s my friend. He’s my acquaintance.

She’s high-profile. He’s low-profile.

She’s every man’s dream. He’s just an every day man who dreams.

She’s famous. He’s forgetable.

She knows what he is. He doesn’t know what she is.

She mingles with the upperclass. He is among the poor.

She’s heaven. He’s earth.

She likes him. He loves her.

Uso pa ba ang fairy-tale love story?