The World of Second Chances

Unexpectedly

June 23, 2008

Life & Love

There are times when everything that happens in your life is so unexpected; you
barely have time to think if you are doing the right thing.When it comes to matters
of the heart, I have learned to be wiser after two failed relationships that left me
emotionally broken. There was a time when I thought, I could be single forever and
I wouldn’t really care. But as they say, love is like a thief in the night; you’ll
never know when it will come.

Unexpectedly, I came across this man five years my junior. He was just a casual
acquiantance; we didn’t even start with hi’s and hello’s; just very casual. Until now,
I can’t remember how I met him, how he looked like before and how we treated each
other. But then, we were destined to know each other better.It was so instant; a few
weeks back,he reconnected with me; he smiled at me and I did the same.

When he invited me for dinner, I thought that he was just another one-date-man. (I earned
the reputation of not having second-dates if the first date was not impressive!)
We had a wonderful evening that lead to something deeper and more serious. He divulged
that he has always been in love with me. It was a revelation that surprised me because
he never appeared interested in me.

Then, the unexpected thing happened; I gave him a chance. I told him that after my
traumatic relationships, I am not ready for commitment and true love. He said that he’d
be willing to wait until I’m emotionally settled. Unexpectedly, I didn’t object.

He does things that endear him to me. He’s naive and sweet; very different from the
previous men in my life. He loves me like a teenager who believes in fairy-tales.
I forgot that I was once a teenager, he let me feel again the feeling of being young
and in love.

I am aware that he cannot give me the material comforts that my previous relationships
provided. But is love all about money? Isn’t it about compatibility and happiness?
Isn’t it about co-dependency? Isn’t it about rowing the boat together? Unexpectedly,
I am willing to gamble on him. I am willing to give him a chance to prove himself.
Unexpectedly, I think I am falling in love with him…..
Tuwing Umuulan At Kapiling Ka (Everytime It’s Raining and I’m With You)

June 19, 2008

Life & Love

I was eating in a fastfood chain yesterday with some officemates when my new boyfriend texted me.

“San ka na?” he asked.

I told him that I was on my way to the UP campus with a friend. He told me that I should go home early. I didn’t tell him that I would go to Cyberzone to shop for some items. Earlier, he asked me to bring home something for him; food or anything. He’s still very much a child at heart; innocent and naive.

I shopped for some bedroom items. I passed by the men’s department and decided that the light yellow shirt would look good on him. I put it on my shopping basket and headed towards the cashier.

What the hell is wrong with me? I hated buying clothes for my ex-boyfriends but with the new one, I just felt that he would appreciate.

He texted me while I and my friends were along EDSA. He wanted to make sure that I was safe. He asked who I was with and I said that I was with a male and female officemate. He said that he doesn’t like me car pooling with male officemates or even friends. He set the rules that I dunno if I could follow.

It was starting to drizzle when I got home. I missed him a little that night. He loves me very much, I can feel it. He’s not my ideal man, though. But is love about good impressions, materially-speaking?

I want to be wrapped around his loving arms everytime I hear the raindrops falling. Ewan ko ba bakit ko sya nagustuhan. Siguro dahil mahal na mahal nya ako.
The Closure

June 17, 2008

Life & Love

Letter to my ex-fiance’:

It’s been a long while since we last saw each other. I still remember the day when I last saw you: sad, confused and distant. I thought that it must be the long travel from the South to the Central part of the country.

I went to my parents’ house in the province on that same day, hopeful that things would be much better for the two of us. I texted you and told you how much I was missing you for the past six months of our on-again off-again relationship. You never claimed that it was still a relationship after you decided to let go of me six months earlier. I thought otherwise. I thought that it was just another big fight that I would be willing to swallow my pride and deflate my ego if it would mean total reconciliation for us.

You replied that it was nothing, that your uneasiness was just a mood swing, that everything would just be fine soon. I believed. I believed in everything you said inspite of what the logic said otherwise. I believed in you. I believed that miracles could still happen. Who stole your heart?

It was a long and painful journey to recovery. There were times when I was in denial. There were times when I was just too depressed to carry on with life. (Thanks to Alma and Joel! They made me feel still worthy of living.) I was too scared to lose you. I felt too weak to move on. A part of me said that it was over; a part of me said that we could still go on.

Logically, I knew you were in love with someone else but I could not convince myself that it was real. I never did anything that would make you fall out of love with me. Maybe I was just too naive. Maybe I didn’t took the hint well.

You said that you feel guilty for leaving me. You said that I should find someone better than you. I cried a river when I read your text message about it.

When God closes a door, a window is left opened. I met several dashing bachelors but none of them captured my heart, much more, my interest. I felt that there was no love, only good impression of them.

Along came Miel. He is not as goodlooking as you, not as intelligent as you, not as tall as you, not as fair as you, not as moneyed as you but he loves me so much and accepts me for who I am. I am beginning to feel something for him. It must be love. He visits me in my apartment and my neighbors know him already as my boyfriend. You should see the look in their eyes because they thought that you and me are married!

I want this closure for us. I don’t intend to send this letter to you since you stopped communicating with me. I want to end all my hopes for a reconciliation. I want to give my new man a chance to prove himself. It will not happen if I am still very much hopeful.

Thank you for all the love, the pretensions, the pain, the laughter, the tears— you made me a forgiving person. Thank you for everything.
Her Notting Hill

June 11, 2008

Life & Love

She’s my friend. He’s my acquaintance.

She’s high-profile. He’s low-profile.

She’s every man’s dream. He’s just an every day man who dreams.

She’s famous. He’s forgetable.

She knows what he is. He doesn’t know what she is.

She mingles with the upperclass. He is among the poor.

She’s heaven. He’s earth.

She likes him. He loves her.

Uso pa ba ang fairy-tale love story?
1 Sikat Down

June 11, 2008

Life & Love

I am not an avid fan of Rudy Fernandez but I am so affected by his demise. I cry everytime I read articles about his life and death. Grieving wife Lorna Tolentino is the prettiest grieving wife I’ve ever seen. Rudy and Lorna are blessed with two handsome boys, Rap and Renz. The two are actually artista material, I hope one of them becomes an actor like their parents or half-brother Mark Anthony. Mark Anthony’s sex appeal never fades since his Gwaping days with friends Jomari Yllana and Eric Fructuoso. He got the best features of Rudy and Alma Moreno.

It’s saddening to see Lorna minus Rudy on the coming days. Hindi na kumpleto ang pares. Lorna has the same fate as FPJ’s widow, Ms. Susan Roces: hindi na kumpleto ang pares ng mawala si Da King. Rudy and Lorna’s chemistry as a couple is great, both on-screen and off-screen. Seryoso si Lorna, palabiro si Rudy. Bagay di ba? The couple won so many battles and they survived. Kamatayan nga lang ang nakapaghiwalay sa kanila.

Maybe what affects me most is the image that Rudy left in my mind: a loving father and a good husband to Lorna. As I said, the couple won so many battles but they survived. I am not saying that he was a perfect husband; he was very human and that made him appear realistic to me: walang kaplastikan. The couple managed to keep their private life as private as possible.

Sayang ang kagwapuhan ni Rudy, he’s the most goodlooking among the Apat na Sikat. (Philip Salvador, Rudy Fernandez, Bong Revilla and Jinggoy Estrada). I hope they groom Mark Anthony to be the next Rudy Fernandez.
Tarot Reading

June 7, 2008

Poems & Stories
Cherry, a good friend of mine, came back from the States after a two-month stay there. We were supposed to go back to her tarot reader for our mid-year tarot reading. Last January, she referred me to her tarot reader for my 2008 life, love and money forecast. It was Cherry who was the promoter; I was just very curious about tarot stuffs.

Here are some of the things that the tarot reader read last January for me:
1. PV and I will totally end our relationship because of a scandal that will shock me. I have yet to know the gravity of that supposed scandal. I’m honest to say that there are times when I feel that something very big and bad happened to PV that’s why he acted and reacted that way towards our relationship. I assess how I feel about why our relationship has to end and I realize that I don’t feel any bitterness towards him. It must be my great love for him again?
2. I will get pregnant before the year ends. I almost laughed when the tarot reader said this. “Wala po akong ka-sex ngayon!” I said. But she insisted that it’s what she sees on the card. It’s something that I don’t want to happen: getting pregnant by someone that I don’t even love. Surely, I don’t practice casual sex but there are other ways in which a girl can get pregnant. What if someone forces me and gets me preggy? Morbid ka talaga, Iris! Wag naman sana! Good thing, I was able to save the link on door locks that Joel sent early this year.
3. I will have the opportunity to travel abroad. What’s so impossible about that? Maybe a better interpretation of this reading would be: I will have the opportunity to travel abroad for official business purposes. Hay, sana nga!
4. I will be promoted. Hahaha! Really? How can that happen when I’m just starting with my new function? Well, sana nga!
I asked Cherry when we’ll go back to the tarot reader. It seemed that she’s no longer interested in tarot readings! Himala!

“Ayoko na, Iris, bumalik dun. Nagbabasa na ako ng Purpose Driven Life, eh!” she said in between sips on her latte.
Ploning is Juday and Juday is Ploning

June 6, 2008

That’s Entertainment

When I heard that Juday was gonna make an indie film, my initial reaction was, “Bakit?”

Why, Juday, will you resort to making indie films? Is Star Cinema not interested in giving you projects anymore? Is ABS-CBN giving more priority to rising stars like Kim Chiu and Bea Alonzo?

It was just like, something was not right! It’s not because indie films are inferior in quality as compared to those produced by the big movie companies like Regal, Star Cinema and GMA Films. But rather, it’s the common perception that no big stars should accept an indie movie offer!

And what’s the title of her indie movie? Ploning? What about Ploning?

Just to end my curiosity, I watched Ploning on DVD last night. The film started with a couple making out in a dimly-lit shack. Oh, okay, fine with the Cuyanon folk song that served as the background music. During this time, I was exchanging text messages with a friend; I was still not focused on the movie.

It was the fiesta scene, the one with Juday’s smiling face, that captured my interest to stay focused on the film. Her face was a pleasant scene to watch: simple, seductive, sweet and charming. Slowly, I was seeing myself in the character that she portrayed, Ploning.

Just like Ploning, I am a woman who’s still in-love with the man who left and never came back. Just like Ploning, I am a true friend who never judges, only understands. Just like Ploning, I was emotionally estranged from my father for a while. Just like Ploning, I keep some details in my personal life private. Just like Ploning, I loved and I lost the man that I loved. Before I knew it, I was already crying. I even forgot to reply to my friend’s text messages.

There are other moving scenes in the movie that will surely make you cry. It’s for you to see it. I can only relate to one character and that is Ploning.

Juday is Ploning and Ploning is Juday. The movie was vindicated from my early criticism about Juday accepting an indie film. It’s a movie worth watching for.