The World of Second Chances

1 Sikat Down

June 11, 2008

Life & Love

I am not an avid fan of Rudy Fernandez but I am so affected by his demise. I cry everytime I read articles about his life and death. Grieving wife Lorna Tolentino is the prettiest grieving wife I’ve ever seen. Rudy and Lorna are blessed with two handsome boys, Rap and Renz. The two are actually artista material, I hope one of them becomes an actor like their parents or half-brother Mark Anthony. Mark Anthony’s sex appeal never fades since his Gwaping days with friends Jomari Yllana and Eric Fructuoso. He got the best features of Rudy and Alma Moreno.

It’s saddening to see Lorna minus Rudy on the coming days. Hindi na kumpleto ang pares. Lorna has the same fate as FPJ’s widow, Ms. Susan Roces: hindi na kumpleto ang pares ng mawala si Da King. Rudy and Lorna’s chemistry as a couple is great, both on-screen and off-screen. Seryoso si Lorna, palabiro si Rudy. Bagay di ba? The couple won so many battles and they survived. Kamatayan nga lang ang nakapaghiwalay sa kanila.

Maybe what affects me most is the image that Rudy left in my mind: a loving father and a good husband to Lorna. As I said, the couple won so many battles but they survived. I am not saying that he was a perfect husband; he was very human and that made him appear realistic to me: walang kaplastikan. The couple managed to keep their private life as private as possible.

Sayang ang kagwapuhan ni Rudy, he’s the most goodlooking among the Apat na Sikat. (Philip Salvador, Rudy Fernandez, Bong Revilla and Jinggoy Estrada). I hope they groom Mark Anthony to be the next Rudy Fernandez.
Tarot Reading

June 7, 2008

Poems & Stories
Cherry, a good friend of mine, came back from the States after a two-month stay there. We were supposed to go back to her tarot reader for our mid-year tarot reading. Last January, she referred me to her tarot reader for my 2008 life, love and money forecast. It was Cherry who was the promoter; I was just very curious about tarot stuffs.

Here are some of the things that the tarot reader read last January for me:
1. PV and I will totally end our relationship because of a scandal that will shock me. I have yet to know the gravity of that supposed scandal. I’m honest to say that there are times when I feel that something very big and bad happened to PV that’s why he acted and reacted that way towards our relationship. I assess how I feel about why our relationship has to end and I realize that I don’t feel any bitterness towards him. It must be my great love for him again?
2. I will get pregnant before the year ends. I almost laughed when the tarot reader said this. “Wala po akong ka-sex ngayon!” I said. But she insisted that it’s what she sees on the card. It’s something that I don’t want to happen: getting pregnant by someone that I don’t even love. Surely, I don’t practice casual sex but there are other ways in which a girl can get pregnant. What if someone forces me and gets me preggy? Morbid ka talaga, Iris! Wag naman sana! Good thing, I was able to save the link on door locks that Joel sent early this year.
3. I will have the opportunity to travel abroad. What’s so impossible about that? Maybe a better interpretation of this reading would be: I will have the opportunity to travel abroad for official business purposes. Hay, sana nga!
4. I will be promoted. Hahaha! Really? How can that happen when I’m just starting with my new function? Well, sana nga!
I asked Cherry when we’ll go back to the tarot reader. It seemed that she’s no longer interested in tarot readings! Himala!

“Ayoko na, Iris, bumalik dun. Nagbabasa na ako ng Purpose Driven Life, eh!” she said in between sips on her latte.
Ploning is Juday and Juday is Ploning

June 6, 2008

That’s Entertainment

When I heard that Juday was gonna make an indie film, my initial reaction was, “Bakit?”

Why, Juday, will you resort to making indie films? Is Star Cinema not interested in giving you projects anymore? Is ABS-CBN giving more priority to rising stars like Kim Chiu and Bea Alonzo?

It was just like, something was not right! It’s not because indie films are inferior in quality as compared to those produced by the big movie companies like Regal, Star Cinema and GMA Films. But rather, it’s the common perception that no big stars should accept an indie movie offer!

And what’s the title of her indie movie? Ploning? What about Ploning?

Just to end my curiosity, I watched Ploning on DVD last night. The film started with a couple making out in a dimly-lit shack. Oh, okay, fine with the Cuyanon folk song that served as the background music. During this time, I was exchanging text messages with a friend; I was still not focused on the movie.

It was the fiesta scene, the one with Juday’s smiling face, that captured my interest to stay focused on the film. Her face was a pleasant scene to watch: simple, seductive, sweet and charming. Slowly, I was seeing myself in the character that she portrayed, Ploning.

Just like Ploning, I am a woman who’s still in-love with the man who left and never came back. Just like Ploning, I am a true friend who never judges, only understands. Just like Ploning, I was emotionally estranged from my father for a while. Just like Ploning, I keep some details in my personal life private. Just like Ploning, I loved and I lost the man that I loved. Before I knew it, I was already crying. I even forgot to reply to my friend’s text messages.

There are other moving scenes in the movie that will surely make you cry. It’s for you to see it. I can only relate to one character and that is Ploning.

Juday is Ploning and Ploning is Juday. The movie was vindicated from my early criticism about Juday accepting an indie film. It’s a movie worth watching for.
Duty First Before Pleasure

June 5, 2008

Career, Finance & Product

Today is Thursday. I’m supposed to text two of my former college housemates about our get-together on Saturday. We haven’t seen each other for 12 long years and we believe it’s about time to reconnect with each other. Also, my youngest brother’s birthday celebration will be on Saturday; I need to be there to enjoy with my family.

10:30 AM, meeting with the bosses. Result? I need to report to work on Saturday to train some supervisors and engineers about productivity monitoring.

My ever supportive boss asked me, “Okay lang ba na pumasok ka sa Sabado?”

“Yes, sir…. if it’s needed, I will,” I said.

I though I saw my bitchy alter-ego saying these: “Liar! Liar! You don’t wanna go to work on Saturday! You don’t wanna go to work on Monday which is a holiday! Why don’t you tell them that you have an appointment with old friends on Saturday afternoon and a birthday celebration to prepare to on Saturday night? Why don’t you tell them that you will need to go to Zambales on Sunday to attend to your friend’s baby’s baptismal? Why don’t you ask them to give you a break? ”

I thought I was lost in space for a few minutes. I was torn between my career and my personal life. Duty first before pleasure?

I remember the time when I was just starting my career in my first job. My mother was always mad at me for going home late and for being workaholic. It was not my choice to be workaholic, the nature of my job as an engineer demands me to be one. How can my mother understand my long hours of work when nobody in the family has the same nature of job as mine? It was only about six years later when my brother vindicated my workaholicism when he started to work as an engineer, too.

Duty first before pleasure? As long as they don’t ask me to report to work on Christmas and New Year, yes, I will prioritize duty before pleasure. Babawi na lang ako sa mga mahal ko pag-uwi ko.
Friendship and Money

June 5, 2008

Life & Love

I was about to sleep last night at around 10PM when I received a text message from my friend. She asked me if I could lend her PhP15,000 the next day (and that is supposed to be today). My mind was still hazy from a day of hard work so I decided to reply the next day so as not to affect my judgment on the matter. While I was sleeping, my cellphone rang. It was an unfamiliar number so I did not pick the call. I was not in the mood for some late night flirting over the phone. Lol!

This morning, I verified who the late night caller was. It was my friend who used her fiance’s cellphone. The fiance’ said that his fiancee was still sleeping and he asked if I got the text messages last night.

I did a mental count of my budget for June:

1. Education expense for my Changki

2.Financial aid for my brother and cousin’s education in case my mother needs it

3.Renovation expense for my parents’ house

4.Shopping expense for myself as a reward for my month of hardwork

To be honest, the only cash available are allotted for items 1-4 since my savings are kept in a bank. And in this time of economic crisis, money kept in a bank only earns about 2% per annum! So as much as possible, I try to keep a fixed amount on my savings account. Whatever I spend or lend to those who are in need comes from the money I saved from a previous pay day.

I texted her and said that I could only lend her PhP 5,000. I hope our friends will be kind enough to lend her the remaining amount of PhP 10,000.

I am aware that most friendships are ruined by money. In my case, I’d like to balance between being a good friend and being a good provider to my family. I think my decision is win-win.
Kite Runner Quotes

June 4, 2008

Life & Love

I watched “The Kite Runner” on DVD. The novel is still much much better than the film. I wouldn’t discuss the story since you can google it anyway. I will just give my piece why I so love this novel or film.

Just when my relationship with PV was deteriorating last year, I decided that the best thing to do was to keep my cool, do something productive and avoid getting into arguments with him. My officemate showed me this book and offered to lend it to me since he knew that I was into novel-reading.

“Magugustuhan mo yan. You like culture, di ba?” he said.

So, I took the book and started to read the first ten pages in my office cubicle. The first chapter of the book was enough to convince me that it was worth reading. The author vividly put into words the picture that was on his mind.

There are only three quotes in the novel that I am particular of:

“For you, a thousand times over” – said Hassan to Amir when the former offered to get the last cut kite for the latter. I could hear this phrase from my parents who love me unconditionally. They sent me to college at the time when our finances were down. I was a partial scholar but generally, it was my parents who struggled for me to continue schooling. In a country where having a diploma is a MUST to get a good job, it is expected for us to earn a college degree. At that time, I knew I had to go to school but Cupid knocked me out and for a while, I was lost and I couldn’t choose between setting my academic goals or just be Mrs. RR. I could say that half of what I achieved in life came from my parents’ belief in what I could do.

For you, a thousand times over—I hope PV can realize how much he means to me. It would be too lengthy to discuss the many sacrifices that I did for him. I just want to let him know that no matter how heavy his offenses are, I will always forgive him and give him a second chance. I will do that for him a thousand times over.

“It always hurts more to have and lose than to not have one in the first place,” — Amir. What do I have before that I no longer have now? Perhaps I could relate it to the people who came to my life and established good rapport with me. And then for some reasons, those people just left either because they realized that we do not have the same connections anymore or they just wanted to look for greener pastures elsewhere.

It hurts me when friends leave; I just so miss them. I do not regret meeting them; it’s just painful when you’re used to be with them and then they’ll be gone. It’s wise to make new friends every time we have the chance to do so. Yes, friendship is forever but his/her presence is transient.

“There’s a way to be good again,” said Rahim Khan to Amir. How bad was I yesterday compared to today? Did I hurt somebody’s feelings yesterday so that I could make up to him today? If I could have another chance to fix my issues with somebody that I hurt whether deliberately or not, I would.

I regret hurting Francis’s feelings when I broke up with him in college. It was one of my immature decisions that I am still thinking of until now. How can I make up to him? It’s funny to say sorry for something bad that I did many years back but surely, he will appreciate it when I say it sincerely.

I regret cutting off my communication lines with RR’s family when I met PV. I regret being too drastic with my decisions. For some reasons, his family does not bother to connect with me anymore. If I could have a single chance to reconnect with them, I would. I will say how sorry I am to let these things happen to us.

Is there a way to be good again?
My Life Is Not An Open Book

June 3, 2008

Life & Love

My life is not an open book…. to those who don’t care to know me well. If there’s one good lesson that I learned from my previous job, it is the value of privacy; not secrecy. When I was still with those group of people, I was too eager to share what was happening in my daily life. Some of them went beyond what was normal for acquaintances to discuss; they were too curious to know about my personal life.

I used to believe that nothing was extra-ordinary about a girl who fell in love in her late teens, tried to form a family and was emotionally crushed to death when that family started to crumble. Maybe I was just too friendly and too willing to let them understand where I was coming from and why I justified my another attempt for a lasting relationship. But my open life created more harm than good; not everybody was willing to accept me as a person. At some point, I felt obliged to let them know about what’s happening in my new relationship and how my ex was treating me and Changki. At that point, I became protective of Changki; I didn’t want her to be involved in this web of office intrigues.

It was different when I started to work in my current job. I was able to enjoy the privacy that I was long denied with. For the first time in how many years of my post-teen life, I was able to create a more professional working relationship with the people around me. Why would I care to open my life to those who are not willing to understand me as a person? At least, I have some friends here who knows the truth in my life and I trust them. Again, I don’t promote secrecy here, I just want to gain back the privacy and peaceful life that I have been dreaming of. And it worked! When my relationship with PV ended, nobody in the office bombarded me with the WHY questions.