The World of Second Chances

Wag Na Lang Kaya?

April 4, 2021

Life & Love

“Wag Na Lang Kaya” is one of True Faith’s songs that they released in 1994. For someone like me who is fortunate to live through the 80s, 90s, and the present generation, I can vouch for how some guys tend to be coward when it comes to courtship. The 90s is an era in between conservatism and liberalism. Then, of course, the Philippines was adjusting to globalization, so we had more access to information about how the rest of the world was doing in terms of love, dating, and related matters.

Nais ko ay magpakilala sa iyo.
At ipahiwatig ang nilalaman ng puso ko.

In college, I had this board mate who had a secret crush on a girl who happened to be our board mate, too. The girl was one of my closest board mates, and he used to ask me a lot of questions about her. Ironically, they’ve known each other since high school but it was only in college when he felt that intense attraction. He wanted her to know that things had changed after high school. Therefore, he thought that maybe introducing himself to her again would be a good move to break the ice.

Maunawaan mo kaya
O baka sampalin mo lang ang aking mukha?
Nagdadal’wang isip na

He knew that she had a reputation for dumping suitors. He didn’t want to suffer the same fate. He asked me one time, “Iris, why don’t you ask her what she thinks about me?” Being a newbie at that time, I did! I asked her what she thought of him–all I got was a small frown not out of irritation but out of confusion. In short, she was clueless about what I was talking about.

Huwag na lang kaya?
Huwag na lang kaya?

Assuming the role of Cupid, I told him that she seemed to be not interested in answering my question. Oh, I remember how his facial expressions shifted from excitement to loneliness. The foggy Sunday afternoon must have added to his aching heart. He blurted out that maybe the best thing to do was just to pretend that he didn’t care about her. He wanted to stop talking to her. I told him that she might take it negatively and she would never speak to him again.

Nais ko ay i-alay sa iyo
Ang puso ko na umiibig sa iyo

Like a story from the book, he pretended that he was still the same old boy that she knew from way back. He wanted to get her trust by acting like she was nothing to him. But of course, I knew how much he wanted her because I was the one-sided Cupid.

Ngunit ‘di mo na yata kailangan ng gan’yan
Mayro’n ka na yatang kasintahan
Naninikip ang tiyan

Then one day, he brought me some donuts because according to him, it was going to be a long night of conversation about his secret crush (Sunday night was my only free time).He asked me if I knew about her frequent dates with another guy that we both knew. I told him that yes, I knew that they were going out for dinner but I did not make a big deal out of it. In between Bavarians and coffee, we argued whether her going out with the other guy was something that he should worry about. A month later, I told him about the bad news.

Huwag na lang kaya?
Huwag na lang kaya?
Ngunit ‘di mo na yata kailangan ng gan’yan…

“Being torpe saved me.”
He said that if he were brave enough to tell her about his feelings, he would lose her friendship. Her relationship with another man marked the closure of his secret desire to be with her.

I wonder if he would have done the same thing had it happened today because most men are no longer torpe when it comes to dating. Perhaps he would send her good morning and good night emojis to let her feel that he cared for her. Maybe he would make a tiktok video about her reactions to his struggles.
I Love You in Different Times

March 18, 2021

Life & Love

The ’80s I Love You: Party Line Problems

The phone—without caller ID—rang.
I picked it up.

“Hello?” I said.

Silence on the other end.

Then he said my codename.
I smiled, careful not to let my parents hear that I was talking to him.

“How are you?” he asked.
“I’m good. What about you?” I replied.
“I just thought about you,” he said.

We talked about childhood things the way tweens did—awkwardly, sweetly, innocently.

Then the party-line interrupted us.

“I need to use the phone,” a woman said.

“But we just started talking,” I protested.

“Oh, are you entertaining suitors over the phone now?” she dared ask.

It was the late ’80s—when conservatism ruled and curiosity was hidden in coded words.

“This is an emergency!” she claimed.
We let her take the line. He promised to call back later.

Half an hour passed. I picked up the handset.
She was still there—talking with her boyfriend. Clearly not an emergency.

I interrupted, “I’m expecting a call.”

“You rude little girl! We’re still talking!” she snapped.

Rude? I showed her how rude I could be.

I placed the handset beside a loud walkie-talkie.
I heard her screaming in anger.
I won.

Then the phone rang again—it was him.
We continued talking… until I heard my father’s footsteps.

“I need to hang up,” I whispered.

“I love you,” he said.
I didn’t respond.

The ’90s I Love You: The Operator-Assisted Call

“Hello?” I answered.

“Why did you ignore me this morning at school?” he asked.
“I didn’t notice you,” I replied.
“But you noticed him,” he said.

We shifted the topic to Science, our shared favorite.
Then he said, “I’ll be out of town this weekend. What do you want as pasalubong?”

“I’m not after pasalubong,” I said.

“Okay, I’ll just buy what my money can buy. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” I blurted—and hung up.

The phone rang again.

“What did you just say?” he asked.

“Ah, that’s nothing,” I said.

“No, I heard you say you love me, too.”

“Brotherly love!” I insisted—and hung up again, blushing.

Three years later…

The phone—still without caller ID—rang again.

“Hello?” I said.

“This is an operator-assisted call. Will you accept the charges?”

I did.

“I miss you,” he said.

“I miss you, too.”

We ranted about how long the sem-break felt. First love made time feel heavier.

And as always, he ended with, “Bye for now. Take care. I love you.”

“I can’t hear the last words,” I teased.

He shouted them louder—enough to turn heads in the phone booth.

The 2000s I Love You: The Age of Shortcuts

A text came in:

“Mis u. Luv u.”

I replied:

“Luv u 2.”

Simple. Fast. No awkward pauses.
By this decade, love had become abbreviated—compressed into SMS, later into chats, emojis, and gifs.

Reflections

From the 1980s to the present, I’ve seen, heard, and felt love expressed in many forms.
And over time, I noticed something:

Saying “I love you” has become easier.

Maybe it’s because emojis and instant communication make it easier to show affection. These days, “I love you” can be as normal as saying “Please” or “Thank you.”

Don’t get me wrong—I support expressiveness between lovers, families, and friends. But when strangers or acquaintances say “I love you” just to show approval or agreement, it sometimes loses the weight it once held.

I remember a time when saying those words meant more.

When you whispered it in secret.

When you waited by the phone for hours.

When you hoped those words and the love behind them would last.
Pieta- Ace Vergel Movie

March 10, 2021

That’s Entertainment

Note: It may contain spoilers.

Here’s another 80s movie that I watched; it starred Charito Solis as Amanda, Ace Vergel as Rigor, and Vivian Velez as Marta in the lead roles. The great painter and sculptor Michaelangelo did the painting and sculpture version of it. Pieta means “pity” and it shows Jesus on Mary’s lap right after the crucifixion. Therefore, the movie’s theme is about the compassion and love of a mother to her son but the son here is the exact opposite of Jesus because Rigor is the kind of son any parent would not dream to have.

Amanda raised Rigor singlehandedly along with her adopted daughter Marta. Growing up, Rigor was always involved in making troubles and was disrespectful of Amanda. He called Amanda just by her name and grew up to have the reputation of being the most feared person in their area. Fidel, Amanda’s admirer, tried to be a father figure to him but he let him feel that other men were not welcome in their house because he was supposed to be the only man in the house. This changed when Marta’s ex-convict father Rubio came to his rescue and as a form of gratitude, he let him stay with them.

Instead of bringing peace into the house, Rubio introduced Rigor to the underworld. The big boss Jack was hesitant but accepted him because he was Rubio’s recruit. So, I guess that Rubio was a valuable member of the group to be given that consideration. Jack tested Rigor’s capability in the hope that he would lose to his henchman but Rigor won the fight and earned his place in the group. Instead of being grateful, he bedded Jack’s mistress in the master’s bedroom while the latter was sleeping soundly.
Some criminals change but in Rubio’s case, the evil in him was deeply rooted and could not be softened by the years he spent in prison. He raped Amanda and this angered Rigor not because he cared for her but because he stepped on his male ego being the man of the house. In retribution, he raped Marta and even announced it to his neighbors. Like, how could he rape someone he grew up with? When Rubio learned about Marta’s rape, he was naturally triggered as a father. He and his henchmen attacked Rigor but they were all defeated and killed. Fidel was one of the casualties when he tried to stop Rubio from harming Rigor.

Amanda and Marta’s life should have been okay when Rigor was sent to prison but the problem did not stop there. Marta was pregnant and was initially thinking of aborting the baby. Amanda scolded her and made her realize that the baby had nothing to do with the problem. So, Marta went on with her pregnancy and Amanda informed Rigor about it.
While in prison, he met the henchmen of Don Jose, the lord of the underworld. The group helped him escape the prison and brought him to Don Jose. In a twist of fate, Don Jose was his biological father and he was overwhelmed by the money and power that he had. Ironically, he was soft on his father and did not criticize him for leaving them. He was bent on taking his son from Marta to groom him to be his future successor. Marta went to the province to hide the baby but was unfortunately traced by Rigor when Amanda visited her. A chase scene in the woods followed with Rigor threatening to kill Marta if she would not give the baby to him. When he realized that the police were after him, he made Marta and the baby a human shield. Now in despair and nowhere to go, he appeared to be planning to harm the baby but was interrupted by a sniper’s shot. The baby, Marta, and Amanda were safe; Rigor was in the blink of death. Amanda let the dying Rigor rest on her lap. She loved her son so much and had that brief tender moment with him. He uttered the word “Nanay” and then passed away. It was the first and last time that he acknowledged her as his mother.

Ace Vergel was the original Bad Boy of Philippine cinema. You would surely hate him in this movie especially if you were raised by a single mother who moved heaven and earth just to give you a good life. I don’t see any logical reason why Rigor would hate his mother and grew up notorious except the Nature versus Nurture explanation. He got his bad genes from his father and no amount of good nurturing could change that. Speaking of Ace, he was the son of Alicia Vergel and Cesar Ramirez. He was the brother of Beverly Vergel. He had a son named King with his ex-wife Maya dela Cuesta. He passed away at the age of 53 in 2007.

Charito Solis was famous for her Ina Magenta role in Okay Ka, Fairy Ko. But before that, she was a sought-after LVN actress and later on, a respected drama actress. She died at the age of 62 in 1998.

Vivian Velez is still active behind the scenes as the director-general of the Film Academy of the Philippines.

By the way, this film was made into a teleserye in 2008. It starred Ryan Agoncillo as Rigor and Cherie Gil as Amanda. They changed Marta’s story on the TV adaptation from being Rigor’s adopted sister to being his love interest.
Ang Babaeng Hinugot Sa Aking Tadyang-1983 Movie

March 9, 2021

That’s Entertainment

Note: It may contain spoilers.

I love to watch old movies because it allows me to get a glimpse of how places and fashion look like in earlier years. This time, I chanced upon a 1983 movie “Ang Babaeng Hinugot Sa Aking Tadyang” with Vivian Velez and Eddie Rodriguez on the lead roles. If the title rings a bell to you, it’s because it was made into a teleserye in 2009 by Marian Rivera and Dingdong Dantes. Vivian Velez caused a stir when she commented that she was disappointed about how Marian portrayed the role of Proserphina. Who is Proserphina and why would Vivian disagree with how Marian portrayed it?

Proserphina (Vivian Velez) is not your usual dreamgirl because inside her beautiful exterior is a woman with a complex character. When an old bachelor and successful businessman named Homer (Eddie Rodriguez) wakes up and finds her sleeping beside him, he is caught off-guard and clueless about the tragedy that will befall soon. Instead of calling the cops or even his maids for help, he allows her to get more sleep and gives her food when she wakes up. He, being the master of the house, an alpha-male, and Adam of his paradise, is obviously intrigued by his unwelcomed guest. Things go a little faster when she seduces him and they end up making love. Priscilla, his loyal assistant, is puzzled why Homer is late so she calls him up and is devastated to know that he is in bed with another woman. His excitement is short-lived because Proserphina leaves him without saying good-bye.
Soon we see men dying in Proserphina’s hands; one is even Homer’s acquaintance while the other one is a random college boy that she met on the road. Homer knows that Proserphina is the culprit but keeps mum about it. One day, Proserphina asks him to hide her from the people that keep coming for her. He keeps her in a beach resort and learns a little information about her family. While he is away, the gang takes Proserphina and he assumes that she simply leaves him again.

In Proserphina’s absence, he comes to appreciate his loyal assistant and makes love with her. Later, he finds out that the extortionists that come to his office are the same gang that is holding Proserphina. He is given 3 days to give them the money or they will kill Proserphina. Before Homer can do anything to save her, she gets the chance to kill them and goes to Homer’s place. Her body is having withdrawal effects from the drugs that the gang injected on her so she begs Homer to give her drugs to stop the symptoms. Homer tells her that her mother is waiting for her to go to her father’s wake. He also offers her medical help but she runs away again.

In the streets, her mental health starts to deteriorate badly. She has flashback memories about her childhood, her parents’ excessive love for her, and how she grieves to the suicide of her first love. She spites her family by bringing home Rado, the leader of the extortion group. The final scene shows Homer asking Priscilla for a date but is torn again when Proserphina shows up. The policemen ask Homer not to meddle with the law because she is a dangerous woman. In despair and nowhere to go, Proserphina chooses to die by jumping to the building.

The movie title seems out of place with the story but you will understand it more if you listen to Anthony Castelo’s song about a man who accepts that the woman he loves is not only his equal but there are times when she is smarter than him. Homer is a highly accomplished businessman but gets illogical when it comes to Proserphina. The movie tells us that there are many kinds of love in this world and too much of it is not healthy.

Proserphina’s parents’ obsessive love for her did not allow her to grow up normally. Her father is particularly very strict on her especially when she had her first boyfriend. Rado’s love for easy money and terrorism result in innocent casualties. Priscilla’s love for Homer is unrequited. Homer’s love for Proserphina is unconditional. I guess this is the reason why Proserphina spared Homer’s life because all her other men’s love is superficial. With Homer, she finds home.

Vivian Velez was really the Ms. Body Beautiful of her time. Her strong screen presence is enough to keep the audience interested in the movie. Vivian’s Proserphina was femme fatale and antagonistic while Marian’s version was sympathetic and protagonistic. Of course, there should be no comparison because the movie version had the dark love story concept while the teleserye version was more on a drama-love story.
Ramsay and Adarna

March 5, 2021

That’s Entertainment

Update: Best wishes to Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay! The wedding was held in Rancho Bernardo, a luxury mountain villa in Bagac, Bataan last November 11, 2021. It is true that not all long-term relationships end up in marriage. When a person is ready from all important aspects, he or she will not think twice about getting married.

Why are fans angry about Ellen Adarna and Derek Ramsay’s relationship? To those who are not yet aware or simply do not care, the latest couple in town is none other than Ellen and Derek. It is such as small world because Ellen’s ex-boyfriend and father of her son Elias is John Lloyd Cruz who happens to be Angelica Panganiban’s ex-boyfriend number 3 after Carlo Aquino and Derek Ramsay.

At the start of the Ellen and Derek relationship, nobody wanted to believe that their friendship would evolve into a romantic partnership because Ellen has always been known to confuse her fans about who she’s dating. Now, it can be told that those
photos from a month ago were not meant to confuse fans because they started their relationship during those times.

The union of two strong personalities with a devil-may-care attitude did not delight the fans especially the fans of their exes Andrea Torres and John Lloyd Cruz.

Fans are hating on Derek because he quickly moved on after his break-up with Andrea. Though Ellen has nothing to do with it, some fans are saying that Derek should have followed the 3-month rule. The 3-month rule goes something like this: you don’t hurry yourself into dating again and you give yourself time to heal within the 3-month post-breakup. In this way, you are not prone to having a rebound relationship because it is not fair for the new love. Now, this can be contestable because Ellen seems fine with it and all she sees now is how happy they are when they are together. If Ellen doesn’t care, then who are we to care? Derek is not her rebound because, after John Lloyd, she said she had a long-distance relationship with a Spanish guy but that doesn’t count probably because it was short-lived. With Derek not being Ellen’s rebound, then fans are saying that she should at least
give some respect to John Lloyd and exclude Elias from the photos that she and Derek are posting.

While some fans are brutal about their bashing on the new couple, I think that most of them are just coming from a place of concern for the little boy. In all fairness to Ellen and John Lloyd, they seem to be doing a great job in co-parenting their son. And maybe those photos of Ellen and Derek with Elias are just Ellen’s way of sending the message that they are okay and everything is under control.

But of course, relationships have their ups and downs, beginning and end. As much as we wanted to have a connection with somebody that we love, it may not happen because of certain circumstances. We don’t want the little ones to suffer because of the separation or break-up.
Itanong Mo Sa Buwan (Moonchild)

February 23, 2021

That’s Entertainment

Note: It May contain spoilers.

The 1988 Chito Roño film tells the story of a young middle-class couple Josie and Sammy whose lives turned upside down when the former was taken hostage by a bank robber named Angel. It turned out that Josie and Angel were secret lovers and the bank robbery and hostage were Josie’s fantasies.

This leads to the question of “how well do you know your spouse?” From Sammy’s point of view, he is completely in control of his life. He has a beautiful wife, a supportive mother, and a bright future as a medical student. He takes his time studying during the weekdays and keeps himself busy as a choir member during the weekends. His perception of a “perfect life” blinded any giveaway that his married life is at stake.

At the beginning of the movie, we see Angel and Josie sharing a quick passionate kiss that somehow leads the audience to believe that it is nothing but a random kiss from a stranger. Josie does not even react negatively to the kiss. The scene where a disappointed Josie over a sleeping Sammy explains her thirst for passion.

Out of boredom, Josie decides to act on her fantasy to be Angel’s hostage. However, she gets tired of hiding and decides to go back to Sammy. Angel, who is now heavily invested in their relationship, begs for her to stay.

Josie betrays Angel by giving a tip to the police. Angel is wounded by the police and Josie goes back to Sammy. Her statement has a lot of discrepancies but Sammy believes her story. Her mother-in-law is skeptical about the kidnapping incident but wants to sanitize it to protect the family name.

Later on, Sammy notices Josie’s discrepancies and feels doubtful about her Stockholm Syndrome. In one of their intimate moments, he realizes that Josie is imagining that she is making love with Angel.

A dying Angel confesses the truth to the police investigator. His submissive wife visits him and sees Josie peeping at the window. Out of her guilt, Josie decides to leave Sammy despite her pregnancy because she does not know the father of her child. With his failing grades, stress from Josie’s abduction, and knowing the truth that his wife has been carrying an affair with Angel, he decides to end his life.

At the end of the movie, we see Josie giving another version of her story–the truth.

Now I know why Jaclyn Jose is considered to be a good actress. She has this acting style that’s uniquely hers. She can play
the role of a victim and an antagonist. Her beautiful face will not distract you from her acting, it simply adds more character to it.

Of course, I didn’t know that this is the movie when she and Mark Gil fell in love with each other. It’s probably the reason why her scenes with Mark had this intense sexual tension as compared to her scenes with Anjo Yllana. Anjo Yllana was probably being groomed into a dramatic actor. I wonder why he stopped pursuing that path when he could carry the drama scenes well.

This film tells us that sometimes, we do not know what’s inside our partner’s mind. It also tells us that doing bad things results in bad consequences.
Graveyard Shift

February 2, 2021

Career, Finance & Product

A night duty in the Philippines means working from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM. In my first job, there were times when I had to report to work from 7:00 PM to 3:00 AM. I needed to extend my duty until sunrise for safety reasons. During my first night duty, I fell asleep during the meal-break and woke up three hours later! Ironically, I had difficulty falling asleep at the dorm because the night duty broke my circadian rhythm. Fast-forward to my second job, I was one of those who rendered a twice a month night duty to monitor the 3rd shift operation. As I grew older, I noticed that my body could tolerate fewer hours of sleep unlike when I was in my early 20s.

Personally, working on a graveyard shift gives me the freedom to make use of my time as productive as possible. When the mind is productive, your body will forget about sleeping. The Philippine labor law entitles night shifters to night differential allowance, too. Call centers and BPOs have unlimited coffee supply to keep employees awake and attentive. Freelancers who have internet connectivity issues prefer the graveyard shift for a faster and more reliable net connection.

Certainly, proximity to work affects one’s decision to agree on a graveyard shift. If travel time eats most of an employee’s time, then a graveyard shift becomes a burden. Those who work at night need more rest and sleep than their morning or mid-shift counterparts. If you are working from home, this should not be much of a problem because you can just rest or sleep after your shift.

The real concern among graveyard shifters is the difference in waking and sleeping time between them and their family members. Let’s say you are working from Monday to Friday from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM. You need to sacrifice your Saturday sleep in case your children or family member ask you for some bonding moments. Your real free time would be the whole day of Sunday because your children or a family member are most likely busy on a Monday morning. Unlike a regular shift, a graveyard shift does not enjoy the Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night bonding.

But yes, spending your bonding moments with your loved ones is case to case basis. Some prefer to maximize their time while the children are young and some have the luxury of time to do whatever they want with their free time.

The ’80s I Love You: Party Line Problems

The ’90s I Love You: The Operator-Assisted Call

The 2000s I Love You: The Age of Shortcuts

Reflections