The World of Second Chances

Ramsay and Adarna

March 5, 2021

That’s Entertainment

Update: Best wishes to Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay! The wedding was held in Rancho Bernardo, a luxury mountain villa in Bagac, Bataan last November 11, 2021. It is true that not all long-term relationships end up in marriage. When a person is ready from all important aspects, he or she will not think twice about getting married.

Why are fans angry about Ellen Adarna and Derek Ramsay’s relationship? To those who are not yet aware or simply do not care, the latest couple in town is none other than Ellen and Derek. It is such as small world because Ellen’s ex-boyfriend and father of her son Elias is John Lloyd Cruz who happens to be Angelica Panganiban’s ex-boyfriend number 3 after Carlo Aquino and Derek Ramsay.

At the start of the Ellen and Derek relationship, nobody wanted to believe that their friendship would evolve into a romantic partnership because Ellen has always been known to confuse her fans about who she’s dating. Now, it can be told that those
photos from a month ago were not meant to confuse fans because they started their relationship during those times.

The union of two strong personalities with a devil-may-care attitude did not delight the fans especially the fans of their exes Andrea Torres and John Lloyd Cruz.

Fans are hating on Derek because he quickly moved on after his break-up with Andrea. Though Ellen has nothing to do with it, some fans are saying that Derek should have followed the 3-month rule. The 3-month rule goes something like this: you don’t hurry yourself into dating again and you give yourself time to heal within the 3-month post-breakup. In this way, you are not prone to having a rebound relationship because it is not fair for the new love. Now, this can be contestable because Ellen seems fine with it and all she sees now is how happy they are when they are together. If Ellen doesn’t care, then who are we to care? Derek is not her rebound because, after John Lloyd, she said she had a long-distance relationship with a Spanish guy but that doesn’t count probably because it was short-lived. With Derek not being Ellen’s rebound, then fans are saying that she should at least
give some respect to John Lloyd and exclude Elias from the photos that she and Derek are posting.

While some fans are brutal about their bashing on the new couple, I think that most of them are just coming from a place of concern for the little boy. In all fairness to Ellen and John Lloyd, they seem to be doing a great job in co-parenting their son. And maybe those photos of Ellen and Derek with Elias are just Ellen’s way of sending the message that they are okay and everything is under control.

But of course, relationships have their ups and downs, beginning and end. As much as we wanted to have a connection with somebody that we love, it may not happen because of certain circumstances. We don’t want the little ones to suffer because of the separation or break-up.
Itanong Mo Sa Buwan (Moonchild)

February 23, 2021

That’s Entertainment

Note: It May contain spoilers.

The 1988 Chito Roño film tells the story of a young middle-class couple Josie and Sammy whose lives turned upside down when the former was taken hostage by a bank robber named Angel. It turned out that Josie and Angel were secret lovers and the bank robbery and hostage were Josie’s fantasies.

This leads to the question of “how well do you know your spouse?” From Sammy’s point of view, he is completely in control of his life. He has a beautiful wife, a supportive mother, and a bright future as a medical student. He takes his time studying during the weekdays and keeps himself busy as a choir member during the weekends. His perception of a “perfect life” blinded any giveaway that his married life is at stake.

At the beginning of the movie, we see Angel and Josie sharing a quick passionate kiss that somehow leads the audience to believe that it is nothing but a random kiss from a stranger. Josie does not even react negatively to the kiss. The scene where a disappointed Josie over a sleeping Sammy explains her thirst for passion.

Out of boredom, Josie decides to act on her fantasy to be Angel’s hostage. However, she gets tired of hiding and decides to go back to Sammy. Angel, who is now heavily invested in their relationship, begs for her to stay.

Josie betrays Angel by giving a tip to the police. Angel is wounded by the police and Josie goes back to Sammy. Her statement has a lot of discrepancies but Sammy believes her story. Her mother-in-law is skeptical about the kidnapping incident but wants to sanitize it to protect the family name.

Later on, Sammy notices Josie’s discrepancies and feels doubtful about her Stockholm Syndrome. In one of their intimate moments, he realizes that Josie is imagining that she is making love with Angel.

A dying Angel confesses the truth to the police investigator. His submissive wife visits him and sees Josie peeping at the window. Out of her guilt, Josie decides to leave Sammy despite her pregnancy because she does not know the father of her child. With his failing grades, stress from Josie’s abduction, and knowing the truth that his wife has been carrying an affair with Angel, he decides to end his life.

At the end of the movie, we see Josie giving another version of her story–the truth.

Now I know why Jaclyn Jose is considered to be a good actress. She has this acting style that’s uniquely hers. She can play
the role of a victim and an antagonist. Her beautiful face will not distract you from her acting, it simply adds more character to it.

Of course, I didn’t know that this is the movie when she and Mark Gil fell in love with each other. It’s probably the reason why her scenes with Mark had this intense sexual tension as compared to her scenes with Anjo Yllana. Anjo Yllana was probably being groomed into a dramatic actor. I wonder why he stopped pursuing that path when he could carry the drama scenes well.

This film tells us that sometimes, we do not know what’s inside our partner’s mind. It also tells us that doing bad things results in bad consequences.
Graveyard Shift

February 2, 2021

Career, Finance & Product

A night duty in the Philippines means working from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM. In my first job, there were times when I had to report to work from 7:00 PM to 3:00 AM. I needed to extend my duty until sunrise for safety reasons. During my first night duty, I fell asleep during the meal-break and woke up three hours later! Ironically, I had difficulty falling asleep at the dorm because the night duty broke my circadian rhythm. Fast-forward to my second job, I was one of those who rendered a twice a month night duty to monitor the 3rd shift operation. As I grew older, I noticed that my body could tolerate fewer hours of sleep unlike when I was in my early 20s.

Personally, working on a graveyard shift gives me the freedom to make use of my time as productive as possible. When the mind is productive, your body will forget about sleeping. The Philippine labor law entitles night shifters to night differential allowance, too. Call centers and BPOs have unlimited coffee supply to keep employees awake and attentive. Freelancers who have internet connectivity issues prefer the graveyard shift for a faster and more reliable net connection.

Certainly, proximity to work affects one’s decision to agree on a graveyard shift. If travel time eats most of an employee’s time, then a graveyard shift becomes a burden. Those who work at night need more rest and sleep than their morning or mid-shift counterparts. If you are working from home, this should not be much of a problem because you can just rest or sleep after your shift.

The real concern among graveyard shifters is the difference in waking and sleeping time between them and their family members. Let’s say you are working from Monday to Friday from 10:00 PM to 6:00 AM. You need to sacrifice your Saturday sleep in case your children or family member ask you for some bonding moments. Your real free time would be the whole day of Sunday because your children or a family member are most likely busy on a Monday morning. Unlike a regular shift, a graveyard shift does not enjoy the Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night bonding.

But yes, spending your bonding moments with your loved ones is case to case basis. Some prefer to maximize their time while the children are young and some have the luxury of time to do whatever they want with their free time.
Willie Revillame

January 30, 2021

That’s Entertainment

During one of the lockdown episodes, Willie Revillame played the drums during the closing segment of his afternoon show “Wowowin.” My husband sighed that Willie played the drums well to which I replied that before he became The Willie Revillame, he was a good drummer in Loveliness.

Francis Magalona, Willie Revillame, Alma Moreno – YouTube

Loveliness was the weekly night show of Alma Moreno during the 80s. Fans were glued to the screen to see her dancing while taking off her clothes until all was left was a tanga. When wearing a tanga was a fad among actresses with a weekly night show like Vilma Santos and Sharon Cuneta, it was Alma Moreno who was hailed as the “Tanga Queen.”

Back to Willie Revillame, people knew him in the 80s as Alma’s drummer, Helen Vela’s son-in-law, and Princess Punzalan’s husband. He was one of Randy Santiago’s “Hawi Boys” in the noontime show Lunch Date. Shortly after, he tried acting and became the onscreen sidekick of famous action stars like Phillip Salvador.

When Meryll Soriano started her acting career as a child star in the early 90s, nobody made it a big deal that her father was Willie Revillame. After all, what’s there to talk about Willie who was then married to Princess Punzalan? Some people even thought that her mother was Princess but the strong Soriano features pointed out who her real mother was. Becbec Soriano, Maricel’s elder sister, was Willie’s ex-partner. And by now, we all know that his marriage to Princess did not last but they remain to be good friends.

Willie’s luck started when he was given a chance to be one of the main hosts of MTB in 2001. A dispute with the management resulted in him being kicked out in 2001. Two years later, he was able to return to the show but was suspended due to a sensitive joke that he cracked while on live TV. I was able to watch an episode of the Extra Challenge in 2004 wherein he was one of the challengers and I could feel that he was sending feelers to Paolo Bediones about his desire to be part of the show. Whether this was his deliberate attempt to make his presence felt in GMA or not, the gods of ABS-CBN realized that Willie still had it. In 2004, he even released his first album.

So in 2005, Willie was back in ABS-CBN as the main host of Wowowee. His comeback proved to be more powerful than any of his previous assignments combined. At this time, Willie had the masa’s back- the unknowns, the poor, the elderlies, the forsaken, the class C and D of the society. While the elite and the conservatives found him vulgar, the masa identified a champion in him. Willie was on top of his game and even married the beautiful Liz Almoro from the wealthy Almoro clan of Laguna. (Note: Liz and Willie annulled their marriage years later) In February 2006, the Ultra Stampede happened and critics blamed Willie for causing it.

His net worth continued to soar high and so were his connections. He started as a nobody early in his career and now, even famous politicians to the likes of Noli de Castro and Manny Villar are within his circle of friends. He financed Meryll’s education in London in 2011 then had a falling out later when she decided to pursue a career in Product Design instead of something related to business. Now a billionaire, Willie wanted her eldest child to learn the ways of the business so that when he retires, there would be somebody to look after his hard-earned wealth for him and his other three children.

Nineteen years after his MTB stint, I was forced to watch Wowowin whenever I needed to take the shuttle after work. The bus driver was a big fan of Willie so we had no choice but to watch the show, as well. Surprisingly, I found the show entertaining and he had a nice balance of co-hosts like Herlene Budol, Elaine Timbol, and Almira Teng! In all fairness to Willie, he has evolved into a pleasant host unlike two decades ago. I think that aside from his growing older and wiser, his female co-hosts have something to do with his mellowed behavior.

In his 60th birthday celebration, he flew a helicopter and landed on top of the Wil Tower. But despite his immense wealth and status, the celebrant burst into tears because he missed his live audience.

There’s a lot to learn from Willie Revillame’s life from his love-life to the ups and downs of his career. Aside from having loads of talent, what sets him different from the rest is his belief that he can do things and be successful.
The Crown

January 28, 2021

Life & Love

The Crown

“Queens don’t chase. That’s how the crown falls.”

I am trying to find the author of this quote but different names popped out. Anyway, this quote sends a powerful message not only to the women out there but also to men. Should a woman accept the size of the crown that her man gives just to please him?

When the crown is too small for the woman’s head, it will fall off. When the crown is too big for the woman’s head, the same thing will happen. Wearing an ill-fitting crown will not only make the queen uncomfortable but it will be prone to accident, as well. Besides, this is the reason why queens don’t chase because that’s how the crown falls.

Of course, I am not talking about the gender superiority complex here. I am talking about reminding couples in a relationship that compatibility plays a big factor in a long- lasting partnership. Most women fall into the trap of finding excuses for their man’s bad behavior. They become the chaser and not the chased. Men take advantage of this and continue with their misbehavior. When the woman starts to behave like a queen with a precious crown on her head, she is more in tune with her feelings and how she should behave.
Of course, there would be some men who would dare challenge women and question what’s the big deal with having an ill-fitting crown? Those men are so selfish, they do not care about offending women. If this type of man has this mindset, the woman must think twice before marrying him. And should a woman has already married this kind of man, she should prioritize her sanity and guard her feelings. Selfish men all care about what is good for them. Sometimes, insecurity triggers their selfishness, and women are not obliged to change how men should behave. Women are obsessed with the idea of being the one to transform men’s behavior and the success rate is small.

The truth is, men will change for the better when they deeply love a woman. The bitter truth is, men don’t care about offending women that they don’t really love and they take pride in getting away with it. A good relationship is for better and for worse. Don’t chase after somebody who is not into you. Believe in action and not by words.
How I Moved On From A Bad Break Up

January 21, 2021

Life & Love

There is this vlogger who is still hurting over her break-up with her actor-ex-boyfriend. To add insult to injury, the ex has fully moved on and even fathered a baby to his girlfriend. The girlfriend was not
somebody new because they had a relationship almost a decade ago. They parted ways because she could not cope up with a long-distance relationship. In 2019, the two met again in a TV series and they probably realized that the love was never lost in the first place. The actor broke up with the vlogger in December 2019 and the latter is still hurting until now.

Eight long years of the vlogger and the actor’s relationship were washed down the drain and I know how hurt she is. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, my heart goes out to her. But take note that I do not hate the celebrity couple and I will explain later why.

They say that you don’t need to ask your boyfriend if he loves you enough because he wouldn’t pursue you in the first place if there was no love. The better question to ask is how long will he love you? Will he still love you when he realized that you are not the dream girl he thought you would be? Will he still love you when things become rough in the relationship? Will he still love you when he finds a better girl than you? Will he still love you when he sees your flaws? Will he still love you when he becomes successful in life? These are some of the questions that you don’t need to ask your boyfriend but it’s good to keep an open eye if the red flags appear later.

Except with my husband, my previous relationships were all long-term. (We got married after less than a year of dating) The first relationship happened when I was a teenager while the second one was when I was a young adult. Truth to be told, the second relationship gave me more heartaches but I’d rather not talk much about it as I have moved on already. What I want to discuss was the healing process that I went through and how I forgave the ex for breaking my heart.

Seven years into the relationship, I was more mature and ready to settle down so the break up came to me as a big shock! The ex moved on quickly, secretly found my replacement, and then lived his life to the fullest. Of course, knowing all of these tore my self-esteem into minute pieces. I was ready to go to his place to beg for him to come back but I always came to my senses that it would have been a futile move. I never spoke ill against the new girl because logically, she had nothing to do with the break-up. Whether she was the third party or not would not change my ex’s mind about choosing her or leaving me. For a time, I could not let go of my friendship with the ex’s family as I had a good time with them when the relationship was good. Later, the friendship with them died a natural death when I got into a new relationship. Speaking of friendship, it is never my attitude to include my friends in troubles about my love life. I feel that as long as my life or sanity is not in danger, then there’s no need to tell anybody about what’s going on in my relationship. On the other hand, this silence backfired on me when people thought that my relationship was super okay so they were surprised about the break-up. But yeah, I still believe that you don’t need to overshare. When you speak about the break-up, the more people get curious about the next things you’ll do or say. Writing is therapeutic and it never fails to heal my broken heart, be it because of a failed relationship or something else. I don’t follow any of my exes on social media even when I have fully moved on. Some people do follow their exes and it works for them though. I am particular about how my family would feel so for me, it is for everyone’s best interest not to connect with them.

Looking back, I think that doing all the things that I mentioned above helped me in moving on silently. I would be honest to say that there were a few rebounds and flings to boost my self-esteem but they were all harmless relationships. I never got to be physical with any of them as what I needed were just text mates.

If I happen to see any of my exes by chance, I think my initial reaction would have been to laugh at what happened and remind myself about how I dealt with the break-up. There is always a reason why we did not end up with the person that we wanted so much but believe me, time flows forward and it heals a broken heart.
The Pains and Gains of Freelancing

January 9, 2021

Career, Finance & Product

I signed up for a freelancing website in 2017, hoping to get a gig. I got the idea from a high school classmate who, until now, is doing well as a freelancer. Almost four years ago, the demand for freelancers was not that high. The clients’ requirements did not fit into my qualifications as a manufacturing engineer. Hence, I had a very slim chance then to land a job.

Pre-covid, I wanted to spend more time with my young children, and what a better way to do that than to find a source of income in the comforts of our home. Four years ago, most Pinoy freelancers had little idea of what a Virtual Assistant is. Perhaps, some would even get confused about the roles of a Social Media Marketer. I’m pretty sure that only a few could answer about the difference between Amazon’s FBA versus FBS. Time is continuously changing and upgrading, especially in 2020, when the pandemic hit us. Today, E-Commerce becomes one of the most promising careers, and the influx of professionals wanting to become Virtual Assistants rocked the freelancing industry. On top of this, it looks like the Work From Home set-up made the companies realize that it is possible to have a productive and efficient remote workforce. (A reliable internet connection is another story.)

Of course, being a freelancer means knowing what you can bring to the client’s table. Just like working in a traditional workplace, a freelancer ought to have the right skills for the right job. Otherwise, you will start at the bottom. No worries, that’s fine as long as you are flexible and hardworking. Learn as many tools as possible because freelancers are working on their own. Most of the clients have limited time to even talk with you regularly. So don’t be surprised, too, if they ask you to install apps to monitor your daily tasks. Sample of these time and productivity tracking apps are Timeproof and Hubstaff. Some clients are very particular about the confidentiality of their data. Instead of these tracking apps, they would require you to connect to their company laptop or server and do the job from there. (Again, a reliable internet connection is another story.) If being “monitored” bothers you, you can accept jobs per project. Projects do not pay by the hour and do not require these time and productivity tracking apps. These jobs pay by the quality and delivery of your output, like logo design, video editing, and IT-related jobs like web design and development.

Those who think that being a freelancer means “owning” your time, I hope that you find a client that has a similar mindset. Some clients do not care about time and productivity as long as you do your job well. On the other hand, some jobs require your time and full attention to the whole shift, so babysitting while working may not work out. There is also the issue of getting multiple clients on the same work shift. If it’s okay with your client, then go for it. Otherwise, pick the best client and drop the rest. Make it a goal to produce only the best output for your clients because they hired us to do the job.

Cultural and language differences can be tricky and challenging at the beginning of your client-contractor relationship. To establish a good rapport with your client, do a little research about their culture and work ethics. Maintain a professional but friendly working relationship. Clients from the US generally prefer to be called by their first names and avoid the formality that “Ma’am” or “Sir” brings in. If they insist to be called Mr. or Miss or Mrs. plus their last name, it is okay, too.

Forget about the Philippine holidays once you become a freelancer. If you are used to spending your local holidays, get used to working during most Philippine holidays. Overtime pay for a holiday does not apply to freelancers. Well, some generous clients give holiday pay, though. If you are excited about the 13th- month pay, remember that freelancers do not have it. Freelancers pay their SSS, Philhealth, and PAGIBIG contributions out of their own pocket. So the goal here is to increase your hourly $ rate so that you can afford to go on a holiday and pay your SSS, Philhealth, and PAGIBIG contributions. Don’t forget to get a life or health insurance, too. If you are earning more than PhP30,000 a month, you need to pay your taxes.

Most contractors run after Australian clients because of the narrow difference between our time zones. Most clients come from the US so ready yourself to work on a graveyard shift. Graveyard shift takes a lot of effort and determination to embrace and love. The advantage of a graveyard shift is a quieter environment and a faster internet connection. If background noise is an issue for your client, there are noise-cancellation headsets available in the market.

In summary, being a freelancer is a choice as much as working on a traditional work set-up is an option. If you are tired of things like long transportation to work, dressing up, leaving your young kids to the yaya alone, then freelancing might be the right job for you. Just remember that it is not all pain (lifestyle adjustment, lack of clients, low hourly rate), there are also gains in the end.