The World of Second Chances

Christmas in the Philippines

December 24, 2020

Filipino Culture

My client of three months asked me this morning about my holiday plans. I asked him back if it’s okay not to report to work tonight (December 24th) and tomorrow night (December 25th) because I intend to be absent on December 31st and January 1st. After 12 hours, he replied that it’s okay for me to take my holidays during the said dates.

Since I started my freelancing journey in September, I became exposed to a whole new world of online employment opportunities and that includes learning new culture and tradition that I need to know, too to adapt. I am aware that in the US, Christmas is not as celebrated as how we do it here in the Philippines. Surprisingly, my client seemed to be aware of our tradition which was why he brought up the topic.

They say that it is only in the Philippines where Christmas starts during the “ber-months.” As early as September, houses, and establishments put on their Christmas decors to induce that magical feeling of the Yuletide season. By now, everyone knows that Christmas is not complete without hearing the songs of Jose Mari Chan with “Christmas in Our Hearts” as his most notable composition. Some people take advantage of the mid-year sale to maximize their gift-giving. Certainly, this trend would change more in the coming years because of the online shopping promos of Lazada and Shopee (hello, 10-10, 11-11, and 12-12 sale!)

Christmas countdown is such a big deal in the Philippines and most of us sacrifice our sleep schedule for Noche Buena. Noche Buena is a mid-night dinner where the stars of the table are the lechong baboy (roasted pig), hamonado (ham), quezo de bola (cheese), and fruit salad. To those who cannot afford any of these, pancit and a loaf of bread will do because the important thing is the presence of the beloved members of the family for the Noche Buena. After eating, gift-giving follows. When I was still living with my parents and siblings, we put the gifts under the Christmas tree and do the exchanging after the Noche Buena. You guess it right that when we were younger, I and my siblings thought that those gifts came from Santa Claus!
In our family, we needed to sleep before 3 AM to have enough energy for the day’s events. As early as 7 AM, my parents’ inaanak (godchildren) would knock on our door for their pamasko (Christmas present). When I say inaanak, I mean the presence of 50 children and above depending on their karay-karay (companion). My mother patiently entertained each one of them while I kept myself busy inside the room as those days were my super shy days.

Lunchtime meant going to my grandmother’s house for a family reunion. Well, in our case, we used to see our relatives every weekend so it was not a reunion in the real essence of the word. But yes, some families who live apart look forward to Christmas for their family reunion. This tradition affects so many Filipino families now because of the pandemic. In my case, my hometown imposed a 14-day quarantine period should we decide to visit my relatives there. From my end, it’s not practical to have that long quarantine period if the visit will only be done in 1 or two days. This means that I would have more time spending on the quarantine than the actual visit and also. As they say, now is the perfect time to take advantage of technology like video conferencing through FB messenger, Meet, Skype, and Zoom.

Christmas would be much different now for most families but the most important thing is regular communication even when there is no occasion. To those who celebrate Christmas, be creative and positive that this too shall pass. And to those who do not celebrate like the adult me, now is our time to relax, do our pending tasks, bond with family, and recharge for the New Year celebration.
Year 2020

December 24, 2020

Life & Love

What a challenging year!

I wrote this poem when I was feeling blue. People who personally know me could attest to the many trials that I went through this year. Of course, it is never my nature to announce what’s inside my mind if it involves other people. I avoid telling my issues while I’m on top of my emotions, too.
Without going to the delicate details, I want to share pieces of my unfortunate 2020 and how I managed to trust in the process, forgive, and move on.

Before the pandemic, I lived my life as I programmed it to be. I was a busy mother and a career woman. My father depended on me since my mother passed away a decade ago. I had a huge responsibility both at home and at work. I enjoyed life, no matter how challenging it was occasionally. Friends were there whenever boredom struck. You know, I thought that it was the kind of friendship that would stand the test of times.

Honestly, I was my usual calm self when the Luzon lockdown started. I believed that the lockdown was for the best interest of the majority. Besides, I thought that it would only be temporary. I pretended to be wary of the impending economic crisis in March whenever my close friend in Malaysia opened up about her worries. I believed that the situation was under control and yes, it would just be a little sacrifice before we all get back to normal.

During the third week of the Luzon lockdown, my father succumbed to a heart attack. To make matters worse, the Covid protocol in both our provinces became more strict so I had no choice but to attend his burial through the video call. Until now, I get teary-eyed whenever I remember that day. My father’s death was sudden and without good-byes. Partially, I regret not being able to have spent more time with him because I was busy making money to support him. On the brighter side, I knew that he understood my physical absences, and had Covid did not happen, I planned to spend more time with him in the province starting 2020. I started when I went to visit him in February for his birthday.

To lessen my grief, I attended online training courses on Social Media Management, Search Engine Optimization, Social Media Marketing and even Blogging from May to June. I needed to keep myself busy and productive. I registered to jobhunting sites that provide home-based employment for me to know what employers look for in a candidate. It was also around this time when uncertainties about my employment status arose.

I have always been a career-woman and a family woman rolled into one. There were instances when family occasions had to take a back seat because of the demands of my job and my family understood it. My job was the source of my motivation that I could achieve anything in life as long as I had it. Personally and professionally, I got along with anybody at work, they were my second family. Naturally, when I felt that I was about to lose my second family, my initial reactions were grief and sadness. In between my professional issues and mourning for my father’s death, there were other painful incidents that I’d rather not talk about.

What helped me during the uncertain times were the support group that I had like my online mommy group and of course, my family and real friends. They say that misery loves company. It was during my lowest points in life when I gained new friends that have similar situations as mine. I reached out to people, gave pieces of advice when asked, and then surrendered all my worries to the Lord.
I always tell my new friends to “trust in the process” no matter how bad it seems to be. Of course, we need to forgive the people or circumstances that led us to this situation. When we forgive, we provide closure to the incident and so we don’t feel as haunted as before. When we trust in the process and believe that good things will come out of it later, we learn to move on and look forward to what life has to offer.

Despite the pains that 2020 caused me, I still believe that there are good reasons why I shed a lot of tears this year. Let us also be kinder to one another because we don’t know what we are going through these days. May we all have a better 2021!

PS: If you liked my poem, please share this post. Let us spread positivity! 🙂
Tragedy in Paniqui, Tarlac

December 22, 2020

Life & Love

The recent double murder case of a Paranaque police officer in Paniqui, Tarlac caught the headlines yesterday morning. In the viral video, we could see a commotion involving the victims Anton/Frank Gregorio and his mother, Sonya Gregorio versus Police Senior Master Sergeant Jonel Nuezca and his daughter. Minutes later and in a fit of rage, Nuezca pulled the trigger and shot the mother and son in close range. His daughter witnessed the whole incident, unmoved. After the shooting, the father and
daughter reportedly left the crime scene as if nothing happened. To date, he is now in jail and I hope that justice will be served fast for the victims.

We condemn the senseless killing. We condemn the brutality of the murder. We condemn what Jonel Nuezca did to his neighbors. But do we need to gang up on a minor to pay for her father’s sins? Based on Noli de Castro’s interview with one of the witnesses and the one who took the video, there had been a long-standing feud about the right of way between the Gregorios and Jonel Nuezca. Therefore, the “boga” incident was not the first time the two parties had a heated discussion. Most likely, the hostility had always been there and just waiting for a tragedy like this to happen. Jonel’s daughter had nothing to do with the right of way feud.
In the video, we could conclude that she’s the bratty daughter who provoked her father into killing Sonya and Anton. But let’s not forget that it was her father who had first-hand issues with the Gregorios, not her.
In the confines of their home, the girl probably heard that her father was right and therefore kept a resentment against their neighbors for “violating” their right of way. In short, there were probably issues and discussions that the child heard before and she felt that her father or their family was the underdog.

Police are trained and are supposed to practice maximum tolerance. If Jonel Nuezca could easily be triggered by Sonya’s reply to his daughter, you could just imagine what he could have done in other instances aside from this one. My point is, why do we need to include the daughter on the blame when a responsible adult and a police officer should be the one to have kept his cool, in the first place?
We don’t know the parenting style of the Nuezcas and how the family felt entitled to the privilege of having a
man in uniform under their roof. What the child needs right now is a psychological assessment because we don’t want another Nuezca to hit the headlines for human rights violation later on.
Tretorn Shoes

December 10, 2020

Filipino Culture

tretorn Download

Tretorn shoes are included in the Lazada 12-12 sale.
Yes, you hear it right, GenX people, the iconic shoes
of our childhood and teenage years are back in the market.

I posted the Tretorn’s Lazada ad on my Facebook wall and
I was surprised to receive nostalgic comments about the shoes.
Truth to be told, I only knew about its popularity and
brand when my mother tried to buy me a pair of Tretorn shoes
in Balanga Arcade sometime in December 1990.
K-Swiss shoes, another popular brand, costed PhP1500 then while
Tretorn ranged between PhP1200 to PhP1000 depending upon the
material. Of course, the leather line was more expensive than the
canvass shoe style.
PhP1200 pesos was such a big money during the 90s; I could have
bought 3 pairs of a local rubber shoe brand like Kaypee.
So you guessed it right, my mother settled for a less expensive
Thailand-made brown leather shoes.

90s was not yet the era of eCommerce or even Duty Free so owning
a pair of imported shoes was such a big deal. And because
most of my classmates were wearing either a K-Swiss or a Tretorn,
my saving glory was a pair of white Nike shoes that I requested
from Kuya Boyet, my uncle. Pardon me for my naivety, I did not
know how expensive a pair of Nike shoes was. I just wanted
a pair of imported shoes and he was the only closest relative
who was working abroad at that time. Hahaha.

It was 1991 when I paraded the white Nike shoes on the campus.
I have a little secret, the shoes were one size smaller so I had
to wear lace socks instead of sports socks to lessen the discrepancy.

I did not tell my mother or my uncle about the
blisters I had to endure because that would break their heart.
They knew how much I wanted to own a pair of imported shoes.
But anyway, the shoes created enough space later on for my feet to fit in.

It was in 1993 when I had my first and last pair of Tretorn shoes.
Imagine me waiting for two years just to own one? The hype about
Tretorn shoes were slowly decreasing by the time I had one but
just the same, I was so happy to wear them and parade them in
school during Fridays. (I wore black school shoes from Monday
to Thursday). I seldom wore the Tretorn shoes so they went all
the way with me to college. My dormmate saw how dirty they were
and advised me to clean them using a fine toothbrush and a little
white toothpaste. I told him that that was exactly the look and
character that I wanted for in Tretorn shoes: the dirtier, the
better. Until now, I am not sure if his opinion is the opinion of
the other kids who grew up in the States. Or it was just him who
was too conscious of one’s proper grooming. Anyway, I appreciate
his concern and he was one of the nice guys in the dorm.

Fast forward to the present times, yes, it’s quite sentimental to
own a pair of Tretorn shoes but if ever I would buy one today,
I would just keep them as a souvenir of my childhood and teenage
years. With all due respect to the brand, I know it is iconic but
I feel awkward wearing a trademark from my past.
Typhoon Ulysses in Central Luzon

November 17, 2020

Life & Love

I seldom watch the news on TV and the only source of weather update that I have is Facebook. I was aware of the incoming typhoon (Ulysses) but did not expect it to be a super-typhoon like Rolly, after all, the Philippines is a typhoon-prone country. We just needed to prepare for the storm surge or flash floods.

The day just went normal, it was even humid. There was little trace of the incoming typhoon Ulysses except for the number of insects that went out of hiding. By 10:00 PM, it was raining in Central Luzon but not as hard as a typhoon-rain. Meanwhile, in Bicol Region, Ulysses has started to devastate the provinces who were affected by the earlier typhoons like Rolly.

By 1:00 AM, strong winds were beginning to be felt in our area so Meralco had to cut off the power supply for safety reasons. An hour later, the winds
sounded like whistling wolves. The last time I heard of these sounds was two decades ago.

Between 3:30 AM to 4:30 AM, the rain poured heavily as if an ocean of water was thrown against our house. Then the wind blew harder and created slamming sounds against our roof.
I was saving my phone battery so I turned off the data. I was unaware of what was happening outside of our subdivision and the rest of Central Luzon, as well.

It was a long agony of strong winds and heavy rains. The skies were clear by 9:26 AM the following day. I turned on my data to get some updates and to my surprise, the barangay next to us was flooded! What was even more unfortunate was the damage the typhoon has done to Cagayan Valley and NCR (Marikina and Pasig)!

Somehow, I felt guilty for the small inconveniences that I felt when there was no electricity and water supply. By the way, until now, our water supply is limited but it is nothing as compared to the pain and loss of the most affected typhoon victims.

I pray that 2021 will be a better year for all of us.
2020 hit us hard but with everyone’s love and support, we can rise again.
Here’s A Free E-Book For You

November 10, 2020

Poems & Stories

one-day-at-a-time-1-1 Download

This is a compilation of my daily thoughts, small success and struggles.

I wish to spread hope and love in this pandemic. 🙂

PS: If you liked the e-book, please share this post.
Sarah Balabagan’s Revelation

August 28, 2020

Life & Love

It was in 1995 when Filipina domestic helper Flor Contemplacion was sentenced to death by hanging in Singapore. It was a sad day for the Filipino people back then. A year later, another Filipina hit the headlines for serving her 100 strokes of cane together with blood money. She is Sarah Balabagan.

Sarah Balabagan grew up in a poor family in Sultan Kudarat. She did not finish her grade school because of poverty. At a young age of 14, she left her hometown to become a domestic helper in United Arab Emerates. Her recruiters faked her age. Her employer was old enough to be her grandfather. There were early signs of her employer’s sexual advances that she reported to her recruiters but they disregarded her cries for help so she had no choice but to stay with her employer. At 15 years old, Sarah Balabagan killed her employer when he tried to rape her.

At 17 years old, she came back to the Philippines with a hero’s welcome after serving her 3-year jail term and receiving 100 strokes of the cane. The blood money amounting to US$41,000 was donated by businessman Mr. William Gatchalian, father of Senator Win Gatchalian and Valenzuela Mayor Rex Gatchalian. Sarah became the symbol of every OFW’s risk and struggles in the hands of their employers. She became an overnight sensation. With her natural beauty and talent, she tried to become a singer and even had a collaboration with Geri Halliwell of Spice Girls. To immortalize her plight, Viva Films made a film out of it which starred popular teen star Vina Morales.

Sarah Balabagan’s world turned a hundred and eighty degrees for the better but her ordeals would not be far from over. Rumors about how her family demanded money from her circulated but Sarah was gracious not to talk about it. The Sarah Balabagan fever from 1996 to 1997 ended abruptly when she became missing in action from 1998 and onwards. At 19 years old, she was rumored to have given birth and people were quick to point fingers at Mr. Roy Seneres, Mr. William Gatchalian, and Mr. Rey Langit as the possible father. Still, Sarah kept her silence. There were occasional mentions of Arnold Clavio as the fourth suspect but most people found it hard to believe that a very much married and respected journalist would take advantage of a young woman’s vulnerability. With Sarah Balabagan’s continued silence, another Sarah quickly rose in the music world. Of course, most of us are aware that in 2002, Sarah Geronimo bagged the 1st prize on the singing contest “Star for a Night.”

Sarah Balabagan kept a low profile from 1998 to August 2020 when she decided it was time for her to reveal the father of her firstborn. While most young people are shocked beyond belief, those who have heard the rumors before simply took it as an “it’s about time” confession.

Whether Sarah Balabagan’s confession has something to do with Arnold Clavio’s anti-Duterte tirades or not, I think that it is about time to put to rest her daughter’s paternity issue. Sarah has been silent since 1998 and isn’t it too long a time to keep a secret that nearly destroyed other personalities like Mr. Roy Seneres, Mr. William Gatchalian, and Mr. Rey Langit?

I would like to give the benefit of the doubt to Arnold Clavio about his reason for not openly admitting his lovechild maybe out of respect to his wife and children. As long as there are child support and a conscious effort to be part of his child’s life, then there should be no further issue about it.

In the end, I hope that Sarah and her child have found their peace together with their family. I hope that Arnold Clavio’s wife and children receive comforting messages, too because whether they like it or not, it would hurt them to see him being attacked by netizens. And for Arnold Clavio, so much has been said about you. You can be critical of any person’s wrongdoings without losing your cool.