The World of Second Chances

Death of a Pet

December 8, 2015

Life & Love

Somebody ran over our kitten this morning. I do not know who did it and I have no intention of pointing fingers. It must be an accident. I feel guilty for not being responsible enough to look for Mona (kitten) the night before it happened.

I was frantic when I found out that the reason why Mona was not running towards me was because of an injury. I felt so helpless just looking at the poor injured kitten; I knew it would just be a matter of hours before Mona would succumb.

Only pet owners and pet lovers can understand the bond between an animal and the owner. We give our pets time, love, devotion and spend a little money for giving them a better life. I was never into pets until my son influenced me.

Some people will say that animals are just animals with a value lower than human. For me, some animals are created to give us happiness and some, to provide us food. But even the killing of animals for food must be done in an ethical way.

Just like what my BFF said, I should move on and treat the incident as a lesson—to be more responsible as a pet owner (buy them a cat litter, know the number of the vet)

I am still grieving and I will surely miss Mona. It’s heartbreaking to see her die that way.

😦
My First Mammogram

December 1, 2015

Health & Beauty

My mother died of breast cancer in 2009 so by default, I am required to undergo breast examination starting the age of 35. My recent executive check up result was generally fine but I’d like to stay on the safe side because the OB (obstetrician-gynecologist) just performed the “manual” breast examination so I asked our company doctor for a referral letter for a mammogram.

Unlike the xray, a mammogram can only be performed 7 to 10 days after the onset of the last menstruation. Anything beyond the 10th day has a risk for false alarm for presence of cyst.

Deodorant, make up and powder are not encouraged because of possibility of contamination and blurred reading. Jewelries must be removed, too.

The lab assistant will provide you with a lab gown. You need to wear it with the opening at the front instead of the back when you’re doing chest xray. The lab assistant will ask you to wear nipple tape with a tiny metal marker that will serve as the technician’s reference for imaging analysis.

The lab assistant will guide you for the proper posture and then place one of your breasts on the metal plate and adjust the upper plate (tranparent) so that the two plates press your breast very firmly. Expect a little discomfort! The xray takes less than a minute and the plates automatically release when the xray is done.

The lab assistant will give you at least 5 minutes to compose yourself for the other breast’s mammogram while the lab technician or radiologist prepares the next plate.

Basically, there are two xrays per breast; one is when the plates are in horizontal position so that the top and bottom of the breast is being pressed and the other is the vertical position wherein the left and ride side of the breast is pressed.

Average time to perform a mammogram is 30 to 45 minutes depending on the speed of the radiologist and lab assistant. From where I had my mammogram, the price was PhP2000; a small price to pay for an early detection.

Angelina Jolie had double mastectomy and breast reconstruction if only to prevent the curse of cancer. Her mother died of breast cancer and I feel her worry that the same thing can happen to her.

The result of my mammogram will be released next week and I am hoping and praying that the result will be favorable.

Lab gown and blue cap. The green shades are for my privacy naman.=p

See the transparent plate at the upper part and the black plate at the lower part? Yan ang nang-iipit!
Alone Time

November 11, 2015

Poems & Stories

Have you ever felt like watching a movie all by yourself?
Or going to a far-away place with no one by your side?
I’d love to watch the sunset alone.
Play in the rain til I fall asleep on the grass.
Pick flowers in the wilderness til I get lost and find my way home.
Collect different shapes and textures of rocks.
Check in a hotel suite and read a good book.
Go to a museum and appreciate the artworks.
Stay up late at night and watch for falling stars.
Sleep on the rooftop with birds and cats.

I need my alone time, my me time to assess where I want to go.
To let go of all the bad thoughts and recharge my mind and spirit.
To heal my broken heart, forgive and forget.
To come back as a better person for everyone that matters to me.
Being 12 at Heart

October 27, 2015

Filipino Culture

“When I was twelve years old, the world was my magic lantern, and by its green spirit glow I saw the past, the present and into the future. You probably did too; you just don’t recall it. See, this is my opinion: we all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow and told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up, for God’s sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they’d allowed to wither in themselves.”
~Robert McCammon

**************

I want to be 12 years old again not because I want to change the course of my destiny.
I want to be 12 years old again to re-experience the age of innocence: fairies, dwarfes, knight-in-shining armor and magical kingdom.
I want to be 12 years old again to tell all those who passed away in the present time that I love them very much every single day.

If there is a time machine, I want it to bring me back to that time even for an hour. No, I don’t want to change everything in the past because my past life taught me lessons and molded me into a better person that I am now.
I don’t want to change who I met and who broke my heart because I am happy with my children now…and changing the past means not having them in the present.

Perhaps I can just be 12 years old at heart: loving, fun and magical.
The Fish

September 5, 2015

Poems & Stories

Swimming and swirling inside the aquarium
Until a spectator caught its attention
Eye to eye, they connected
Heart to heart, they understood each other

Swimming and swirling inside the fake corals
Waiting and watching for the spectator
Until finally the feeds were given
It can now eat and sleep peacefully thereafter

Swimming and swirling inside the aquarium
Proving to the spectator that it could also fly
The air is cold, the surroundings are dry
The fish is out of the water at last

The spectator took the little creature elsewhere
Aware of the danger; the lack of water could bring
The fish trusted him, though dizzy and weak
It could see the pearls of the ocean so deep

The fish and the spectator watch each other
The former is sick and dying the other one is experimenting
Finally, the latter put it back to where it belongs
To the walled spaces of the aquarium where he could just look on

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Fave Jazz Song

July 31, 2015

That’s Entertainment
Scent, Song, Season

July 17, 2015

Life & Love

I remember a person based on three things: scent, song and season.

Scent:

My late mother loved perfumes. She wore a perfume based on her mood or occassion. When she passed away in 2009, I became the caretaker of her perfumes. I said “caretaker” because I never really use them; I just safekeep them. Because her memory is stored in a bottle, I am very protective and reactive whenever anyone tries to use them. Yes, I can just buy another bottle but I won’t feel any special connection with it anymore because it’s no longer my mother’s bottle. It is my bottle, my own memory. Whenever I want to feel her presence, I just dab a little scent on my skin.

Song:

Most of the special people in my life, I associate them with songs. The connection between the song’s lyrics and to my personal experiences with the people who come and go to my life are just complementary.

Season:

Christmas of 2009 was the hardest:

-it was the first Christmas without my mother

-it was my first Christmas away from home

-it was my first time NOT to celebrate Christmas because of a changed religious belief

Some holidays were a torture to me until I finally let go of the painful events and just deal with the loss–be it a death, a separation or a break-up of a relationship or friendship.

Some memories are there to stay with me and one, two or sometimes all of the three factors that I mentioned above serve as the catalyst. I am letting go of the bad memories and I’ve started creating happy memories since 2012.

As one author said, we cannot appreciate the moment until it becomes a memory.