The World of Second Chances

Toddlers in School

April 15, 2013

Life & Love

Adi’s favorite

I enrolled my toddler in a summer school. I’d like to ready him for schooling on June. Summer class is supposed to be short (one month) and sweet. I’d like Adi to learn how to socialize with other kids his age (3 and a half).

My eldest child was the one who brought him to school this morning so I have no idea yet about his day at the school. (I’m excited to go home to hear it from him).

To motivate him to go to school, I bought him a Cars-designed bag, Ben Ten covered notebook and 24-colors crayon. (He’s fine with 8-colors crayon, actually). I lectured him about what to expect in school and how to behave in front of his teachers and classmates. (As if he could grasp all of my lectures!)

The toddler was excited to go to school; he was holding his bag most of the time last night. This morning, he ate breakfast with me because he thought that working people and students SHOULD eat breakfast. While I was dressing up for work, he knocked on my door and asked if I would dress him up for school. I told him that his Ate would be the one to dress him up. The toddler patiently waited for his elder sister at the sala.

I realize that kids today are much smarter than kids of yesteryears. The emotional intelligence and independence of kids today are much higher than the kids of my time. (I still had separation anxiety until 10 years old!) On the other hand, older people think that we are exposing our children to stress at an early age. If my grandmother were still alive, she would have criticized me for sending my 3 and a half to school because being a teacher, she should know better that kids of that age are still babies emotionally. But this is the system that has been going on for the past decade; sending kids to nursery, then to kindergarten, then to pre-school before the formal primary school begins. Being a working mother, I belong to a generation wherein parents expect the school to teach our kids the alphabet and numbers.

Will home-schooling be an option should my toddler decide that he’s too young for a regular school? I don’t know. But I will give him the opportunity to explore and learn new things in nursery class; should he feel deprived of his liberty to play and have fun, then I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.
Remembering Bataan

April 9, 2013

Travel

taken from the web

“Where are you from?” a classmate in Baguio asked me. It was the start of the second semester and we were given the opportunity to get acquainted with our classmates. It was just a classroom affair though.

Proudly, I told him that I was from Bataan. His round eyes widened and he let go a smirk.

“And where is that on the map?” he asked.

“I can’t believe you don’t know where Bataan is. It’s near Pampanga,” I replied.

“Oh, I haven’t been to Pampanga,” he said.

“Really, so don’t tell me you haven’t been to Manila, too. You will pass by Pampanga when you travel down to Manila,” I informed him.

Of course my classmate was just trying to annoy me by deliberately pretending that he didn’t know where on the Philippines my province was. He succeeded in annoying me though.

I left Bataan in 1994 for Baguio to pursue my studies there. Since then, I would only visit my province twice up to four times per year. Working in the lowlands after college gave me the opportunity to go home in Bataan weekly. Those were one of my happiest days. I was able to visit my family while exploring the beauty of my province.

It is true that you wouldn’t know what you got until you lose it. When I was away from home in college, I always dreamed of my grandmother’s house. It was a big old house where I spent part of my childhood and teenage years. There was nothing really special about that house except the good old memories of the persons who lived there.

Before we had the Robinson’s in Balanga, we were happy with VETAF’s and the arcade. The town plaza was simple and the Balanga Cathedral was old and mossy. We definitely have better structures now and better facilities; it’s good for the new generation to be growing up to a more modern society but I can’t help but feel sorry for myself for not taking the opportunity to enjoy the old Balanga as it was. Monuments and architecture are the artistic and realistic reflections of an era; I just lost my era to a better one, I guess.

An officemate proudly told me that she had been to Dambana ng Kagitingan for five times. I told her that I’ve only been there once and it was in 1993. So near and yet so far, when I was in Bataan, I wouldn’t care about the tourist spots there but now that I’m a province apart, I am pining to be there and explore the province. Maybe the same holds true for my current feelings for Bulacan or Quezon City; I wouldn’t appreciate being here unless I move to another place and realize what I have missed.

With Evangeline Pascual and Janine Tugonon as beauty front-runners, one of my officemates couldn’t help but conclude that most of Bataan women are pretty. Now speaking like an outsider, I agree with her observation because most, if not all, of the girls and women that I chanced upon in Beanery and some of the bars there were pretty.

But typical Bataeno/Bataenas are snob and do not merge easily into an outsider’s culture. The pride is inborn and the mentality of superiority is always there but never admitted.
Sleep is a Luxury

April 8, 2013

Life & Love

zzzzzzzz!

I’ve been dreaming of uninterrupted sleep since Friday. Lack of sleep is fastly affecting my mood and my senses. Taking care of my two young children can be very tiring and I have no ME-TIME since I had Robi last year.

I can work productively all day but when I lack sleep, my mind doesn’t seem to function well. Decision-making is postponed and even standing is such a big task! My coffee addiction did more harm than good to me when I became acidic due to too much caffeine.

I had the best siesta in my life yesterday morning when I slept from 9AM to 3PM. I was not able to do some household chores but I needed that sleep break to recharge myself from a week’s lack of sleep.

Sleep is indeed a luxury for working mothers. Between going to Palawan or Boracay for a summer treat or sleeping, I would definitely choose the latter. No amount of luxuries can match the good feeling of having enough sleep.
Vigilance is a MUST!

April 6, 2013

Life & Love

I’m a big fan of Walter Mart Supermarket and this is where we buy our grocery and food. The prices of the grocery items are much cheaper than the leading supermarket. However, prices of fruits and vegetables are much higher as compared to buying them from the market (palengke).

Anyways, I’d like to share my experience last Saturday when a stranger asked me for some cash. I was busy looking for my brand of creamer when a middle-aged man approached me with his (maybe) six year-old son. He asked for some cash and when he saw that I was with my husband, he immediately walked away.

I was hesitant to report him to the guard-on-duty for fear of ridiculing somebody who might be needing some real help but at the same time, I was also paranoid about the Budol Budol gang and the recent child-snatching activites in Metro Manila.

We had our grocery at 12:00 noon last Saturday and it was an unholy hour so only a few customers were around. I thought, if that man chanced upon me in the corner section where no CCTV’s or mirrors were available, he could have snatched my bag or declare a hold-up and nobody would suspect that taking place. My toddler is usually with us when buying grocery and then I thought, what if that man used his six year-old son to sway my toddler into going with him?

The worst part of being a mother (and wife) is the thought that something bad will happen to your child (or husband). Being vigilant and suspicious won’t cost me a dime. Better safe than sorry, right?
Kevin Villanueva’s Lemonade

April 6, 2013

Life & Love

A thousand salutes for you!

I am literally crying while writing this article about Kevin Villanueva. What a persistent young man who succeeded in obtaining a college degree! His mother took her own life when he was 10 years old while his father passed away four years ago. Instead of losing himself to depression, he took the unfortunate events to his advantage and fueled his desire to finish his studies. Kudos to his maternal aunts who never left him and provided him with love and support!

I was once a college student and my only regret was not realizing my full potential. Instead of focusing on my studies, I got myself a boyfriend and my time was divided between being a diligent student and a loving girlfriend. I have no idea if Kevin is into a relationship; I am talking about my own experience as a college student who could have avoided having a relationship in favor of pursuing better grades. It is every parents’ pride to see nice grades from their kids, right?

I reacted to a telecomm commercial about a college girl wishing that she has enough money left for gimmick. It’s okay to go on a gimmick once in a while but when it becomes a habit, ang kapal ha! Sabagay, only well-off kids could have extra cash for gimmick but when you’re just an ordinary kid who’s living on a small allowance, kalabisan na ang gumimik! I guess Kevin had no time for gimmicks and instead used his free time to earn money by working on his aunt’s dance studio.

“If your parents give you a chance to study, please study because this is hard-earned money!” This is what my mother used to tell me every time I would go back to Baguio after a semestral break. Now I realize how RIGHT she was when I started earning my own money two weeks after college. This is what Kevin missed in college because he needed to support himself financially to be able to live his daily life. Good thing, his relatives and friends were there to give him the unconditional support he badly needed then.

Kevin’s story is about an orphaned boy who made it through college. Life threw him lemons and he made them into lemonade. It’s all about his positive attitude about life’s challenges that made the difference.
Saying Sorry is Liberating

April 4, 2013

Life & Love

Never too late to say I’m sorry….

When I was younger, I found it hard to say “I’m sorry” and “Thank you.” It was not inculcated in my system to voice out what I really meant to say. I was better off writing my thoughts than sharing it or expressing it.

In 1994, I had a rift with a boardmate and I felt bad about it after realizing that it was my fault. Being young and unexpressive, we had a long-standing rift for nearly two decades. Had it happened today when it’s easier to reach out to somebody through text messaging or Facebook, I could have said sorry to him and we could both move on and bury the hatchet. But it was 1994 and months later, we were no longer staying in the same boarding house so there was no chance for apologies.

I could have written him a letter of apology and send it to his school address but I was too proud to stoop to that level of humility. As I grew older (and wiser), I realize that it’s never okay to hurt someone’s feelings and pretend as if nothing happened; somebody has to take accountability and ask for forgiveness.

Last year, before I gave birth to Robi, I searched him through Facebook and sent him a short message. I just wanted to check if he could still remember me after 17 years. I forgot about that message and I was surprised to receive his reply a year later.

We talked about our family and work. I was careful about bringing up the topic of what I did nearly two decades ago. I was afraid to spoil the fun of finding an old friend. After some days of communicating, he mentioned about what I did to him and how it affected his life then. I told him that I was really sorry for the things that I did and I never did for him. It was a sincere apology and he accepted it. I felt good about accepting my mistake and being forgiven by the person that I offended 18 years ago.

It’s never too late to say sorry about an incident that caused someone else’s pain and agony.
It’s never too late to express your gratitude for the people that helped you become who you are right now.
It’s never too late to say you love the people that matters most to you.
Beware of Child Snatchers!

April 3, 2013

Life & Love

Parents, never leave your children alone. Always keep an eye on them. Don’t assume that your neighbors will look after them all the time. I was actually very much affected by this news : http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/video/nation/metro-manila/04/02/13/2-boys-missing-taguig-feared-abducted.

I have two young boys aged 3 and 1 and they share a nanny. The nanny focuses more on Robi (1 yr. old) since Adi (3 yrs. old) doesn’t need super close supervision. But I am particular about Adi’s whereabouts even if the toddler is just playing with the other kids at the compound. My son is trusting and friendly; the exact opposite of me when I was his age. I always remind the nanny to look after Adi and to always watch after him.

These child snatchers are worse than cellphone or bag snatchers. A child’s value to his/her parents is simply PRICELESS. There’s a scary urban legend about a syndicate who is responsible for abducting small kids to sell them or kill them for their organs. This makes me a paranoid mother who scrutinizes every unfamiliar face in the neighborhood. Pakialam ba nila! If they have only good intentions, they wouldn’t feel offended.