The World of Second Chances

Dorm Sweet Dorm

June 12, 2013

Life & Love

My second home–Baguio.

It was May, 1994. All my things were packed and squeezed into the tiny compartment of my grandmother’s owner-type jeep. We drove into my grandmother’s place to say good-bye. My grandmother went out of her house to meet us. Tears were slowly building up to her eyes. She was the type of person who could hold a tear. I went out of the vehicle to hug her and kiss her. I knew that my grandmother preferred me to stay and study in a local school. I loved her so much but I just couldn’t afford to miss the opportunity to start a new chapter of my life away from home. She told me to take care of myself…ah, I was teary-eyed at this point.

It was my first time to live my life independently. It was my first time to go to Baguio. My youngest brother who was two years old at that time was seated beside me. It was deja vu last Saturday when Chariz waved good-bye to her young brothers. While we were driving up the Marcos Highway, I could feel the highland air greeting me. I was just so excited to see the city.

Forty-five minutes later, we were there at the heart of the city. Baguio did not fail my expectations. We went to the boarding house referred to by a neighbor. I proceeded to the balcony to see more of the place. The thick white fog welcomed me. My mother told me that it was fog and not smoke as I initially thought.

The whole family was with me during my enrollment. When it was time for my family to go back home, reality quickly settled in. I would be away from my family for the first time in my life. I would be sharing a room with five other strangers. I would terribly miss my family no matter how imperfect our relationship was.

I cried silently. My father saw me and tapped me on the shoulder. My mother cried, too.

“This is what you wanted eh,” she said.

I hugged everyone except my second brother and then they left. I was left alone in the room with no one to turn to. Occasionally, the caretaker would knock on my door to check on me. Since I was on a board and lodging scheme, I was burning time and hoped that the days would pass by quickly.

Kids today are luckier to have their own cellphone and computer for email and chatting; they can communicate with their families easily. During my time, I was relying on the landline for communication. There was even a time when I sent snail mails to my family and friends.

The biggest challenge was adapting to Northen Luzon’s culture and my boardmate’s peculiarity, as well. Nevertheless, I forged genuine friendships with some of them. Friendship that I treasure up to now.

How could I forget my dormmates who:
1. Lent me her necklace when I went out on a date with an ROTC officer during his Sponsorship Night.
2. Scolded me when I was being too childish.
3. Gave me sound advice about some infatuations.
4. Shared food with me.
5. Accompanied me at the Hangar Market to get my allowance.
6. Accompanied me at the bus station every time I would go home.
7. Helped me with my Technical Drawing subject.

🙂
Nombre Español

June 7, 2013

Life & Love

Hermoso bebe!

I got a little confused about a certain book author named Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra. He is the author of the book “Don Quixote dela Mancha.” It is an old book and I remember hearing his name during a classroom discussion in college.

How should we address him if we happen to meet him? Would it be Mr. Miguel Saavedra or Mr. Miguel Cervantes? For us who are not accustomed to Spanish naming, we would commit the mistake of addressing him as Mr. Miguel Saavedra. But hey, Saavedra is his mother’s last name!

Example 1:
Mother- Leonor Saavedra
Father- Rodrigo Cervantes
Child- Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra

Notice how the father’s last name comes after the child’s first name then the mother’s last name comes in last. Confusing? That’s how Spanish naming is all about.

Example 2:
Mother- Encarna Sanchez
Father- Eduardo Cruz
Child- Penelope Cruz Sanchez

Of course, who doesn’t know Penelope Cruz?

Example 3:
Mother- Amalia Rivera
Father- Francisco Javier Gracia Alonso
Child- Marian Gracia Rivera

Francisco Javier is treated as first name; Javier is not Marian’s father’s last name. I got a little confused years back when Marian was introduced as Marian Gracia Rivera in Jessica Soho’s “Kapuso Mo.” I thought there was an error because I was familiar with Gracia as her father’s last name and not Rivera.

My fascination with Spanish names is evident with how I named my youngest child; Francesc Rubio. Francec, though it doesn’t sound Spanish, is actually a Catalan name.
Wo Ai Ni, Baby 59!

May 29, 2013

Wedding & Family Life

Who would throw away an angel like this?

Good to know that Baby 59 is safe. It’s a miracle he survived being trapped in a toilet pipe. Good thing somebody heard him crying. The angels must have protected him from harm. His mother must be nuts. How can she just throw away an angel as cute as that? She could just given him to a childless couple or an orphanage. Oh well, if women from that part of the planet flush away their unwanted babies, we do it differently here. Fetuses are thrown just everywhere. Where is morality and where is their humanity?

In the mind of an unwed or unprepared mother, it is better to abort the child than continue with the pregnancy and live with the stigma of being an unwed mother. In their minds, it is better to abort the pregnancy and take a rest for two weeks than continue with the pregnancy and take the full responsibility of raising a child. Aborting a baby would probably take PhP10,000 as compared to raising one.

In the mind of an unwed or unprepared mother, their family comes first: her parents’ reaction and disapproval, her family’s capability to raise a child, her family’s comfort and later on: the society’s perception, the government’s reaction. Very little concern is left for the unborn child.

Sex is easy, life is cheap. Motherhood does not knock at every women’s door; it’s unfair for some women to be denied the opportunity to be a mother while some are wasting their chance at motherhood. Truly, we can’t choose our parents.

If you are not ready for motherhood, then please be responsible! If you can’t wait for sex after marriage, then please practice safe sex! Once a life inside of you is made, there is no turning back. You don’t dump human beings like that (fetus in a bottle), even dogs deserve a decent burial at the backyard!

(http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2331941/Chinese-baby-rescued-ALIVE-toilet-pipe-flushed-away-parents.html?ITO=socialnet-googleplus-dailymail)
Water, Danum, Tubig, H2O

May 21, 2013

Health & Beauty

How safe is our drinking water?

In the age when having a clean and potable drinking water is a rarity, we resort to buying refilled water instead. Water refilling stations are selling like hotcakes in places where the purity and clarity of water is highly questionable. (I still drink tap water whenever I’m in Balanga). I’ve shifted my one year old’s water from Wilkin’s to the regular refilled water for the purpose of letting him get used to it. I don’t want him to develop a sensitive stomach and as long as the refilling station is trusted and recommended, there should really be no problem with that.

When it comes to my family’s health and safety, call me a paranoid but I could be very demanding and intimidating. I have this practice of opening the refilled water gallon’s lid for easy transferring of the remaining water to a pot or a bottle container for refrigeration. To my surprise, the container had foreign objects in it; a lollipop wrapper and a cotton-like black dust. Furious, I tried to call up the refilling station but nobody was answering; it must be because it was still 6:20 AM and the office usually starts at 8AM. I left a text message on that refilling station’s mobile number.

An hour later, the refilling station texted me back and so I called him/her up to air my concern. I was looking for their manager or owner but the one who picked up the call told me that I could just leave my message to her. I told her about what I saw inside the water container and much to my disappointment, she started enumerating how that could be impossible! Is that how a business establishment is supposed to deal with a customer? Is that their moment of truth?

Big, medium or small enterprise must practice basic customer satisfaction and how-to-handle-angry-customer skills. The customers are the ones who could make or break a business, remember?

Now back to the person on the other end of the line, I found out why she was so defensive; she was the one who’s supposed to sort and inspect the gallons before refilling! Of course, she would be very defensive! I ended the conversation telling her that she is not the right person to pick my concern and I would have to talk with the manager and owner.

For humanitarian purposes, my saintly (weh?) side is telling me to just keep the matters to myself so that the poor woman would avoid losing her job or her manager’s trust. Besides, there are a lot of refilling stations in the neighborhood and making a mountain out of a molehill is simply not worth it. I just hope that that employee would learn her lesson and improve her work.

By the way, I would like to share this link with you http://www.lwua.gov.ph/downloads_10/Philippine%20National%20Standards%20for%20Drinking%20Water%202007.pdf
Kelan Kaya Makakauwi Ang Mga OFW?

May 17, 2013

Life & Love

military force your face!

Nag-sorry na si Pnoy sa pangyayaring nakapatay ang Philippine Coastguard ng isang 65-year old na mangingisda mula sa Taiwan ngunit mukhang malayo pa rin sa pagiging mapayapa ang pagtrato nitong mga Taiwanese sa mga kababayan natin na naroroon sa Taiwan. Hanggang kagabi, may mga balita na hindi pinagbibilhan ang mga Pilipino ng mga Taiwanese at mayroon na ring freeze hiring kung kaya’t problemado ang mga paalis na OFW dahil sa abot-kamay na nga naman ang paglipad, heto’t mapupurnada pa.

Ramdam maging sa internet ang galit at pagkutya sa ating lahi ng mga Taiwanese. Marami ang kumukutya at tila nananakot na kayang-kaya naman nila tayong gyerahin dahil sa bulok nating military force. Bullying, kumbaga. Walang pinagkaiba sa isang mahirap na nagtitiis sa among mabagsik para sa sahod at sa paniniwala na rin na iyon lamang ang makakatulong at makabubuhay sa kanila.

Mayroon tayong 87,000 overseas Filipino workers sa Taiwan. Wala akong statistics kung alin dyan ang domestic helper, factory worker, engineers at iba pa. Pero sa kawalan ng datos, ia-assume ko na malaking poryento nila doon ay namamasukan bilang factory worker at kasambahay.

May ilan na handang umuwi kung kinakailangan ngunit karamihan ay may takot sa dibdib na mapag-initan at mapauwi ng wala sa panahon. Paano na nga naman ang mga utang na dapat bayaran at pamilyang umaasa sa kanila. Kung ikaw ay kasambahay na kumikita ng PhP18,000 to PhP 20,000 kada buwan sa Taiwan, kikitain mo ba ang parehong sahod kung ikaw ay mamamasukan bilang kasambahay dito sa Pilipinas? O kung ikaw ay factory worker na kumikita ng PhP25,000 sa Taiwan, kikitain mo ba ito sa Pilipinas?

Hindi pa tapos ang imbestigasyon at wala pa namang opisyal na pahayag ang bawat kampo sa ano ba ang talagang nangyari at kinailangang pagbabarilin ng ating coast guard ang fishing vessel na yun. Kung ikaw ay naninindigan sa iyong pag-aari at teritoryo, malawak ang pag-iisip mong uunawain ang ginawa ng ating coast guard. Ngayon, wala ako sa poder na pagdiskusyunan pa kung sino ang maysala dahil isa lang ang nakikita at nararamdaman ko: HINDI TAYO HANDA!

Hindi tayo handang panindigan kung ano ba ang atin dahil may pinag-uusapang kapakanan dito. Ang kapakanan ng 87,000 Filipino overseas workers na nanganganib magutom, maltratuhin at pauwiin ng kanilang mga amo.

Hindi tayo handang makidigma sa kahit anong bansa dahil mahina at luma ang ating mga gamit-pandigma. Para lang tayong mga katutubong gumagamit ng sibat laban sa mga baril at kanyon ng mga banyagang mananakop. Dahil sa kahinaaang yan, madali tayong takutin at i-bully. Alam nilang luma at wala sa modelo ang mga gamit natin. Ultimo ordinaryong tambay nila ay alam yun!

Kung OFW ka, hindi ka handang umuwi kasi wala ka namang uuwiang trabaho. Wala kang sapat na ipon para makapagsimula ulit.

Hindi handa ang Pilipinas na kayanin ang bultuhang uwi ng mga manggagawa mula sa Taiwan dahil alam nating wala tayong contingency plan para sa kanila. Maliit man ang 87,000 na bilang ng tao ngunit malaking bagay ito para sa isang bansang nagtatangkang bumangon.

Transparent government kamo, gusto kong malaman kung kasama ba sa wildly important goal ng pangulo ang pag-aaral sa labor force natin. May mga Pilipinong sinadyang umalis sa bayan at choice nila yun. It’s a “want” and not a “need.” Concern ako sa mga Pilipinong gusto na talagang bumalik pero hindi magawa dahil sa kakulangan ng sapat na sahod sa babalikang trabaho o wala na talagang available na trabaho para sa kanila. Kung paano mapatataas ang standard of living ng tao dito ay isang matagal at mahabang proseso. Ngunit kung gugustuhin, masasakatuparan naman ang exodus ng ating mga kababayan. Basta’t nakalatag ang programa at umaandar ang makinarya ng pagsulong, mangyayari naman ang minimithi nating lahat na wala na sanang Pilipino ang kinakailangang dumayo sa ibang bayan para sa magandang buhay.
Angelina Jolie’s Breast Cancer Prevention

May 15, 2013

Wedding & Family Life

Beautiful…with or w/o real breasts.

I could very well relate to Angelina Jolie’s fear of developing breast cancer because I lost my mother to the disease four years ago. Unlike Angelina, my mother discovered her cancer at Stage 4 so a preventive measure was not really possible.

There are times when paranoia strikes me,”What if the same thing happen to me? How will I cope emotionally and financially? Am I ready to leave my family forever?” Treating cancer is very expensive; even a rich man is afraid to have it.

Back to Angelina, I am amazed at her decision to have double mastectomy to reduce the possibilities of getting the big C. Motherhood has indeed changed her priorities in life. Her old adventurous and devil-may-care ways was replaced with a motherly image.

Some would say that hers was not exactly like a mastectomy because she would have “artificial breasts” anyway. My point is, the fact that she takes care of her health for the benefit of her young children signifies her intention to live a longer life for them. She also sends a strong message to all mothers to take care of their health for the sake of their kids and husband/partner.
When Birthday Is A Thing Of The Past

May 9, 2013

Wedding & Family Life

You used to be excited about your birthday, Chariz!

First off, happy birthday to you Chariz!

My three-year old son attended a birthday party yesterday. Though he was initially grumpy because of unfamiliar faces, his mood lightened up when the clown performed some magic tricks. When we got back home, I reminded him that tomorrow is his elder sister’s (Ate) birthday. He got excited and asked if it would be just like the birthday party that we attended.

From a toddler’s point of view, all birthdays must come up with a celebration: cake, ice cream, balloons and clown. Adi expected his Ate’s birthday to have those features. A week ago, I asked my daughter how she wanted to celebrate her birthday and she said that at her age (turning 16), she found it weird to even celebrate it.

Ah, gone are the days when she used to ask me every now and then how we would celebrate her birthday. Since her birthday falls on a summer, the usual celebration was a swimming party for the family. The most memorable one was our beach party at my mother’s friend’s private resort in Bagac, Bataan in 2008. When proximity was an issue, we would just hang out in Villa Amanda Resort in Abucay, Bataan. The owner was my mother’s boardmate in college so there was always pancit bilao delivered to our cottage for free. Chariz was so happy at the sight of the pancit and thought what an “expensive” gift she had! (Of course, I appreciate the pancit, Tita but my point is, from a child’s point of view, little gifts really mean a LOT.)

Where we used to unwind and celebrate.

The moral of the story, like what I’m always saying, “minsan lang sila bata” especially now that kids grow up really fast, physically and emotionally.Enjoy the times when your kids are still very much dependent on you. Take every opportunity to be there for them. Bring your kids to the mall, buy them cotton candies, let them window-shop (and buy the item if it’s worth it) with you, accompany them to the salon or barber shop, attend PTA’s—these would seem like simple activities to you but in the eyes of a child, being with their parents is the greatest gift one could ever have.