The World of Second Chances

Kevin Villanueva’s Lemonade

April 6, 2013

Life & Love

A thousand salutes for you!

I am literally crying while writing this article about Kevin Villanueva. What a persistent young man who succeeded in obtaining a college degree! His mother took her own life when he was 10 years old while his father passed away four years ago. Instead of losing himself to depression, he took the unfortunate events to his advantage and fueled his desire to finish his studies. Kudos to his maternal aunts who never left him and provided him with love and support!

I was once a college student and my only regret was not realizing my full potential. Instead of focusing on my studies, I got myself a boyfriend and my time was divided between being a diligent student and a loving girlfriend. I have no idea if Kevin is into a relationship; I am talking about my own experience as a college student who could have avoided having a relationship in favor of pursuing better grades. It is every parents’ pride to see nice grades from their kids, right?

I reacted to a telecomm commercial about a college girl wishing that she has enough money left for gimmick. It’s okay to go on a gimmick once in a while but when it becomes a habit, ang kapal ha! Sabagay, only well-off kids could have extra cash for gimmick but when you’re just an ordinary kid who’s living on a small allowance, kalabisan na ang gumimik! I guess Kevin had no time for gimmicks and instead used his free time to earn money by working on his aunt’s dance studio.

“If your parents give you a chance to study, please study because this is hard-earned money!” This is what my mother used to tell me every time I would go back to Baguio after a semestral break. Now I realize how RIGHT she was when I started earning my own money two weeks after college. This is what Kevin missed in college because he needed to support himself financially to be able to live his daily life. Good thing, his relatives and friends were there to give him the unconditional support he badly needed then.

Kevin’s story is about an orphaned boy who made it through college. Life threw him lemons and he made them into lemonade. It’s all about his positive attitude about life’s challenges that made the difference.
Saying Sorry is Liberating

April 4, 2013

Life & Love

Never too late to say I’m sorry….

When I was younger, I found it hard to say “I’m sorry” and “Thank you.” It was not inculcated in my system to voice out what I really meant to say. I was better off writing my thoughts than sharing it or expressing it.

In 1994, I had a rift with a boardmate and I felt bad about it after realizing that it was my fault. Being young and unexpressive, we had a long-standing rift for nearly two decades. Had it happened today when it’s easier to reach out to somebody through text messaging or Facebook, I could have said sorry to him and we could both move on and bury the hatchet. But it was 1994 and months later, we were no longer staying in the same boarding house so there was no chance for apologies.

I could have written him a letter of apology and send it to his school address but I was too proud to stoop to that level of humility. As I grew older (and wiser), I realize that it’s never okay to hurt someone’s feelings and pretend as if nothing happened; somebody has to take accountability and ask for forgiveness.

Last year, before I gave birth to Robi, I searched him through Facebook and sent him a short message. I just wanted to check if he could still remember me after 17 years. I forgot about that message and I was surprised to receive his reply a year later.

We talked about our family and work. I was careful about bringing up the topic of what I did nearly two decades ago. I was afraid to spoil the fun of finding an old friend. After some days of communicating, he mentioned about what I did to him and how it affected his life then. I told him that I was really sorry for the things that I did and I never did for him. It was a sincere apology and he accepted it. I felt good about accepting my mistake and being forgiven by the person that I offended 18 years ago.

It’s never too late to say sorry about an incident that caused someone else’s pain and agony.
It’s never too late to express your gratitude for the people that helped you become who you are right now.
It’s never too late to say you love the people that matters most to you.
Beware of Child Snatchers!

April 3, 2013

Life & Love

Parents, never leave your children alone. Always keep an eye on them. Don’t assume that your neighbors will look after them all the time. I was actually very much affected by this news : http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/video/nation/metro-manila/04/02/13/2-boys-missing-taguig-feared-abducted.

I have two young boys aged 3 and 1 and they share a nanny. The nanny focuses more on Robi (1 yr. old) since Adi (3 yrs. old) doesn’t need super close supervision. But I am particular about Adi’s whereabouts even if the toddler is just playing with the other kids at the compound. My son is trusting and friendly; the exact opposite of me when I was his age. I always remind the nanny to look after Adi and to always watch after him.

These child snatchers are worse than cellphone or bag snatchers. A child’s value to his/her parents is simply PRICELESS. There’s a scary urban legend about a syndicate who is responsible for abducting small kids to sell them or kill them for their organs. This makes me a paranoid mother who scrutinizes every unfamiliar face in the neighborhood. Pakialam ba nila! If they have only good intentions, they wouldn’t feel offended.
Cake, Ice Cream and Balloons

April 1, 2013

Wedding & Family Life

Would you like one?

As a child, I was fond of attending birthday parties. I looked forward to attending my classmates’ birthday celebration and my most memorable ones were Michelle’s, Shellah’s and Tammy’s birthday. The idea of a birthday celebration used to center on three things: cake, ice cream and balloons; without this combination, it didn’t feel like a birthday celebration after all.

My youngest child would celebrate his first birthday on April 3rd. We wanted to avoid the hassles of preparation so we decided to have a Jollibee party (http://jollibeeparty.com/) for Robi. The downside of the Jollibee party is its limited seating capacity at a maximum of 100 guests so we just invited some neighbours and officemates with their kids.

I didn’t make use of the online reservation because I preferred a site visit and a personal talk with the smart-on-duty. The site was helpful to check if I could afford the budget of holding a party in Jollibee. Since I’m practicing frugal living since the start of the year, I decided not to get everything that was suggested by the smart-on-duty. I didn’t find the party hat useful and cute so I excluded it on the party package. The paper placemat was not really eye-catching so I excluded it, too. I’m still thinking if everyone needs a nametag; otherwise, I will ask the smart-on-duty to provide nametags for us. I would love to prepare the loot bags but there’s a big possibility that I would ask the smart-on-duty to include them on my package.

Cake, ice cream and balloons—these are the main components of a birthday party. Kids don’t care about the tarpaulin and sounds and the party host. Kids love hotdogs with marshmallows, the games and a lot of candies. Kids don’t care about the price of the gift; being in the company of one another is enough for them. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m celebrating my kids’ birthday because I want to make them happy or I want to make other people happy. Of course, my honest realization is BOTH: I want to make my kids happy and as well as the other kids (visitors), too. But as an adult, I tend to lack the simplicity of a kid’s happiness like missing out what matters to them most- JUST BEING HAPPY. Enjoy Robi’s simple party, kids!
Santa Cena 2013

March 25, 2013

Life & Love

the one who died for us

We have just celebrated the 2013 Santa Cena in our locale. It was my most emotional Santa Cena since I became a member of the Iglesia ni Cristo in 2009. The minister’s text about the suffering of the Lord Jesus Christ made me cry a river!

In the first place, Jesus was accused of a crime that was obviously a planted one. If you were accused of something bad that you did not commit, your initial reaction would probably be to attack your accuser or to sue him of libel. But Jesus accepted his fate and kept his promise of saving us from our sins. What goodness have we done to deserve such act of kindness from Jesus?

The political system during the Roman Empire was a great disadvantage to Jesus. Pontius Pilate, the ONLY person who could have saved him, washed his hands to avoid any involvement in Jesus’s case. Isn’t it the same to what is happening in our current political systems when some politicians simply do not have the BALLS to stand up for what is right and condemn anything that is wrong? To add insult to injury, the criminal Barabas was released instead of Jesus Christ. It must be a case of vote-buying, heh? Again, what goodness have we done to deserve such act of kindness from Jesus?

Jesus was no John Cena to endure all the paddling. He was beaten from head to toe. Literally, “mata nya lang ang walang latay!” Did he curse those who beat him? Nah! Those bastards were not happy to see him still standing after the paddling, they placed a crown made of thorns! Blood was oozing over his face, the bastards were rejoicing at the sight. Have you eaten a crab? Have you experienced being pricked by it? Ansakit di ba? What goodness have we done to deserve such act of kindness from Jesus?

They were not contented, they ASKED Jesus to walk his way to Golgotha with that heavy cross. When Peter saw him, he denied him not once, not twice but thrice! Ouchhh! Parang kailan lang, they were together preaching but now his good friend was denying him. What goodness have we done to deserve such act of kindness from Jesus?

Joseph (the strong muscular one) helped him carry his cross not out of pity but out of fear. It was a temporary relief for Jesus Christ to have someone carry his load. But Joseph helped him because the guards obliged him to do so. There is no difference to us when we just go to church just because the minister would send a deacon to us if we missed a worship. Are we really going to church to hear God’s message through our minister or is it because we don’t want to offend our spouse or the minister for missing a worship? Are we physically, mentally and emotionally present during our times of worship? What goodness have we done to deserve such act of kindess from Jesus?

Finally, Jesus was nailed on the cross. Are you afraid of getting flu shots because of the injection? Heck, it’s just a tiny piece of metal! It’s nothing as compared to the nails used on Jesus. Jesus was being ridiculed from the time he was presented to Pontius Pilate up to the time he was nailed on the cross.

“I thirst.”

What did they give? Mineral water? Soda? Juice? Nah! They gave him water from the sponge dipped in vinegar. Yuck! Chris was dying na nga, ganun pa ibibigay? Tell me how barbaric these people were. Mabuti pa ang sini-silya elektrika, pwedeng humiling ng lechon, ano! Again, what have we done to deserve Christ’s sufferings for us?

Jesus died on the cross. On the third day, he was resurrected. Jesus died for our sins. Jesus redeemed the world. But what have we done to acknowledge all his sacrifices? Ah, meron naman.

We go to church but are never serious about the gospel.
We are too proud and won’t admit our sins.
We lust after money, power and our neighbor’s wife/husband.
We betray our friends.
We kill the unborn.
We cheat the people.
We hate the poor.
We hate each other.
We don’t care about each other.
Etc…etc…
What goodness have we done to deserve Jesus’s act of kindness for all of us?
My House Hunting Journey

March 18, 2013

Wedding & Family Life

Bahay kubo kahit munti

A house is not an investment as per Robert Kiyosaki and Fitz Villafuerte. It will only become an investment if it will generate income. Yeah, right. But I still want to own a house! A house is my nest and if owning a car is every men’s dream, then owning a house is every women’s desire.

Contrary to popular perception, owning a house through PAGIBIG is not a cheap scheme unless we’re talking of a rowhouse with a floor area of 35 sqm. Developers charge differently depending on the location of the housing project and materials used (BOM). A 100 sqm house and lot in a less accessible area can cost PhP800,000 whereas a 50 sqm rowhouse near the commercial district can cost the same. This is low-cost housing or rather, standard housing project.

My husband and I have just started house hunting and tripping last month and I realize that it can be stressful at times. The cost of paying a 20% downpayment can be stressful specially if I really like the unit but I need to “give it up” to scout for more affordable ones. The most affordable unit is a rowhouse which looks good in the inside but looks like an ordinary apartment on the outside. Rowhouses range from PhP600K-800K with 20% downpayment payable in 12 to 18 months. Owners can put up a fence to secure the front yard and the small backyard but if living with a neighbor with close proximity is an issue, then rowhouse is not the right house for you. Personally, I have no issue with buying a rowhouse except the size factor. Ordinary rowhouses range from 35-40 sqm only and for a family of 5 + 1 maid, this is not ideal for me.

Townhouse is the better version of a rowhouse. The size of an average townhouse ranges from 45-70 sqm with 2-3 bedrooms. The materials used could be the same with the rowhouse but the finishing touches are definitely better. I’m okay with the 3 bedroom townhouse but the total contract price by the developer is around PhP1.7M. That price can afford me to buy a second-hand house here in the countryside.

Second hand or housing project?
The only hassle that I see in buying a second-hand house is the whole process of applying for a PAGIBIG loan. In housing projects, the developer take care of the PAGIBIG requirements and it’s a big relief for busy individuals like me. Old houses that has no or little market value and need repair should cost lesser than that of the ready for occupancy second-hand houses.

To construct or to buy?
The cost of constructing a house in the Philippines is roughly computed at PhP17K to PhP25K per sqm. Average cost of lot in the countryside ranges from PhP1500 to PhP7000 per sqm depending on the location. The good thing in constructing your own home is it’s customized according to the owner’s preference and taste. The bad thing is the construction takes time (from 4-12 months depending on the budget) and the owner has to visit the construction site if he wants to check if the the project is being carried out in time.

We are still on the early phases of house-hunting and these are our guidelines:
1. Location- close to medium proximity to school since we have two young kids
2. Price- Affordable housing that will not strip us of our goal to save for retirement and the rainy days
3. Saleability-The property’s saleability in case we decide to move or retire in our province in the future
4. Neighborhood- I would prefer a neighborhood with familiar faces like churchmates and officemates around.
Family Over Career

March 13, 2013

Wedding & Family Life

“Where have you been all day, Mama?”

The bosses asked for an emergency meeting at 4PM today. Good thing, we ended just in time before 5PM. While taking our snack, they talked about a colleague from the sister company who has stage 4 brain cancer. The bosses are in their late 50’s so it must be difficult to see a contemporay on a difficult health situation.

One of the VP’s (Vice President) shared a story about a busy man who holds a corporate job. The man goes to the attic to pick up his young son’s old journal. By chance, he is able to retrieve his own journal. He has forgotten about that old journal and is delighted to retrieve it from the storage area.

He reads one of his entries, “March 13, 2012, went fishing with my son. No catch! Just wasted my day!”

He is a busy man. If he used that day to finish some report, then that would have been a better output than bringing home an empty basket.

Curious, the man proceeds to read his son’s entry for March 13, 2012. It says,” March 13, 2012. What a great day with dad! No catch but who cares? I’m with my dad!”

***********************************

Everybody was dumbfounded at the boardroom. Everyone in the meeting is guilty of sacrificing our quality time with the family for work. Tears were beginning to build up on my eyes when another boss stood up and adjourned the meeting. Saved by the bell.

I am guilty of not giving my quality and quantity time for my family. This is an eye-opener for me that at the end of the day, family is more important than career or work. Now I know why my kids react that way whenever we (their parents) are around. Nagpapapansin.

From now on, I will have more time for my family. I will listen more, play with them more, nurture them more. After all, nobody would probably say on their deathbed that they love their job or career. It would always be, “I love you, my family.”