The World of Second Chances

Living Beyond Your Means

October 15, 2012

Career, Finance & Product

In one of my previous posts, I discussed about my desire to cut my HSBC credit card. I am no longer using it for the past ten months. Actually, I was never vigilant about the financial aspect of my life until I gave birth to my youngest child in April. With two kids, we can fairly afford to give them some little luxuries in life but with an additional kid, we now have to think twice before splurging on our wants. (Milk formula, vaccines and diaper are expensive!)

I have always been a wise spender when I’m buying an item for myself. But when it comes to my loved ones’ whims, I turn into a spendthrift monster. I always feel obliged to please my loved ones to the point of breaking our budget. There were instances when I resorted to using my credit card to purchase an item because I didn’t want to touch our savings. Later, I realized how unwise it was because our money kept in the bank earns an interest of 2% per annum versus the credit card interest at 3.5% per month. Did I live beyond my means? Maybe no, because I could have used the money in the bank to buy the items that I purchased through credit card. I made a WRONG decision in doing so because I lost more money in the process.

Why didn’t I use the money in the bank instead of swiping my credit card then? Because deep inside, I was bent on saving more money but at the same time, I wanted to please my loved ones, too and swiping that plastic made me feel less guilty about spending. I want to correct this attitude of mine while it’s not yet too late. This is all about financial freedom, folks!

Have you asked yourself why, despite the yearly salary increase and bonuses and promotion, you still feel like living from paycheck to paycheck? Maybe the answer is how you manage your money, maybe you are living beyond your means.

When you start to keep up with the Joneses, chances are, you will be trapped in a web of setting your life’s standards with your friends’ or neighbours’. My neighbours bought a new bike for their kids. My three-year old saw the bike and approached his daddy, “Daddy, buy me a bike, please?” My husband, obviously affected by the toddler’s begging, texted me and hinted that he would buy a bike for Adi. I told him that I don’t want to create an impression to Adi that he could get whatever he wants in a snap of a finger. It has always been like this when it comes to Adi. This time, I want to send a message that every purchase should be planned and budgeted. I promised to buy him a bike on November.

When it comes to buying furniture, which one will you choose, a simple yet durable bed or one that is elegant and expensive? If you have plenty of money, satisfy your classy taste and go for the elegant and expensive bed. But if you’re tight on the budget, then choose the simple yet durable bed. Most shoppers are intimidated by well-dressed salesladies/salesmen. Of course, the salesladies will tell you that the elegant and expensive bed is the better choice because they will get a higher commission on that!

If you developed the habit of borrowing money from family or friends to fill in the gap of your budget, then you must really be living beyond your means. Either cut down some of your unnecessary expenses or increase your income.

The bottomline is, live a simple yet happy life. Material things are just add-ons to being happy but being happy is learning to appreciate whatever we have at the moment. Don’t be an impulsive buyer and think of financial freedom all the time!
Pinoy Hospitality and Pinoy Pride

October 4, 2012

Life & Love

“So, how do you find the Philippines?”
I feel ashamed whenever a reporter or a talk show host ask this question to a foreigner.
What do we expect to hear from them but to say good things about our country, don’t we?
A foreigner then feels obliged to say nice things about the Philippines even if the opposite happened to them.
Some outspoken ones would honestly say that they didn’t enjoy their travel because of pollution, pickpockets etc. etc;
then some onion-skinned Filipinos would declare these foreigners as persona non grata.

I don’t understand why some Filipinos dare foreigners to eat balut, dinuguan and some native delicacies.
I wouldn find it offensive if my French host would dare or insist me to taste frog legs. Not that I consider eating frogs as yucky but I’m not accustomed to eating frogs so the thought of munching frog legs is enough to make me puke.

And of course, there are freeloaders and leeches who take advantage of a foreigner’s extravagance.
On the contrary, there are Filipinos who are so hospitable to foreigners to the extent of being ass-wipers.

Charice’s manager expressed her amusement and disappointment to the Filipino fans for “owning” Jessica Sanchez
(the American Idol runner up who’s half-Mexican and half-Filipino) but not supporting Charice Pempengco who’s a homegrown talent.Jessica’s relatives from her mother’s side are Filipino. The Bugays are from Samal, Bataan and I happen to be from Balanga, Bataan. Kababayan, yes, but only Jessica’s relatives are my kababayan. It does not include Jessica because Jessica, though 50% of the blood that runs in her vein is Filipino, is American. Her upbringing is American. Her culture, no matter how mixed it is, is predominantly American.
I won’t force this sweet young lady to Filipinize herself just to please her Pinoy fans.

Charice Pempengco was not a favorite when she started her singing career on Little Big Star, a talent show in the Philippines.But luck was on her side and before we knew it, she was already a youtube sensation then later, she was rubbing elbows with Ellen Degeneres and Oprah. Filipinos started owning Charice when international celebrities noticed Charice. Pinoy pride, as they said.
But Charice was quick to adapt to American culture and tounge; in just a matter of months, she sported a new image: confident and vibrant.
The Pinoy fans would not understand that sudden change. Charice’s accent could not be compared to Leah Salonga’s because Leah has always had that accent even before she became a Broadway star.
So between Jessica and Charice, the Pinoy fans would definitely root for the former who tries to Filipinize herself rather than the latter who tries to Americanize herself.
Are You Smarter Than A Second Grader?

September 21, 2012

Wedding & Family Life

Sister-in-law texted me today about her daughter’s substitute teacher in English.
(The original-in-charge was on leave).
My niece is a 6-year old second grader at a private school in the province.
The substitute teacher corrected my niece’s abbreviations for the following words: atty.(attorney)and engr.(engineer) to att. and eng.
What the heck! She’s a grade school teacher and those words are common words; my niece got the abbreviations correctly!
It’s alarming to know that this country is losing competent teachers. Primary school must have a good foundation of
correct values and right knowledge, agree?

Am I seeing a depletion of competent teachers like Ma’am Benny Aranas, Ma’am Yolly Pruna, Ma’am Linda Dasig (RIP)
and Ma’am Anita De Dios to name a few? They were my teachers in Balanga Elementary School in a generation when studying in a public school
was cool. In today’s trend, parents from the middleclass bracket choose to enrol their children in private schools because of the impression that
private schools can provide better education and facilities to the students. Private schools better evaluate their teachers more frequently.
If a teacher is not improving, does not want to improve, lazy, has no big heart for his/her students then there’s no reason why he/she must stay
with the school.
Ang Amo at Ang Kasambahay

September 14, 2012

Wedding & Family Life

Nakakalulungkot isipin na mismong sa ating bayan nakararanas ng pagmamalupit ang isang kasambahay na wala namang hinangad kung hindi ang magsilbi at kumita ng kaunti. Ang kaso ni Bonita, ang kasambahay na sinasabing pinagmalupitan ng mag-asawang Marzan, ay hindi na bagong balita. Ilan na nga bang kasambahay ang nakaranas ng pagmamalupit, pang-aabusong pisikal at sekswal at pagtanggap ng masasakit na salita buhat sa mga among kung magpasahod naman ay napakaliit naman.

Hindi maikakaila na may mga kasambahay din namang hindi maayos manilbihan. Burara sa mga gamit, tamad, walang kusa, mapakialam at ang iba pa nga ay sadyang magugulang. Ngunit hindi rin ito nagbibigay ng lisensya sa mga amo upang tratuhing masahol pa sa hayup ang kasambahay.

May mga argumentong baka ang pananakit naman ay gawa-gawa lang mismo ng may katawan upang pagkaperahan ang amo. Baka daw may mga kasabwat na sindikatong ang pakay ay mangotong lamang sa mga inosenteng amo. Ito ay mga pangyayaring nangangailangan ng masusing imbestigasyon; isang mahaba at matagal na proseso upang malinis ang pangalan ng inaakusahang amo.

Ang normal na damdamin ng tao ay papalag sa anumang akusasyon lalo’t ito ay hindi naman talaga totoo. Naroon ang simpatya ng mga tao Kay Bonita dahil na rin sa pagtatago ng mag-asawang Marzan. Sa batas ng damdamin, hindi ka magtatago kung ikaw ay inosente.

Iba’t ibang personalidad ng kasambahay na ang nakasama ng aming pamilya. Ang kakaalis pa lang na kasambahay galing sa probinsya ay nagsumbong sa kapatid na nasa Novaliches na sya daw ay pinagtatrabaho naming ng sagad-sagad. Siya daw ay pinaglalaba ng mga damit, pinag-aahon ng sampay at inuutusan palagi. Ang kapatid nya ang nagsabi sa amin noon sabay paalam na hanggang katapusan na lang ng Agosto ang kanyang kapatid. Nagalit ako sa bintang nila at sinabi kong lahat ng iyon ay kasinungalingan lamang. Damit lang ng sanggol ang nilalabhan nya at kung minsan pa ay kaming mag-asawa ang gumagawa. Ang sampay na kailangan nyang iahon ay nasa bintana lamang at ang sobrang utos na sinasabi nya ay mga paalala ng mga kakainin at gagawin nila sa maghapon. Sa huli, napagtanto namin na gumagawa lang ng dahilan ang magkapatid upang hindi naming sila singilin sa nagastos naming pamasahe. Kung naiba-iba ako o ang aking asawa, maaaring nasaktan na namin o napagsalitaan ng masasakit ang aming kasambahay lalo pa’t sa termino nya sunud-sunod na nagkasakid ang dalawang batang maliit na kanyang binabantayan.

Sa panahon ngayon, wais na rin naman ang mga kasambahay. Kung yaya, pag-aalalaga lang talaga ang gagawin nya. Kung katulong, gawaing-bahay lang ang gagawin nya na sya naman naming patakaran din. Alam naming ang hirap ng trabaho ng isang kasambahay kahit pa ba sabihing may washing machine at vacuum cleaner kami na makatutulong magpaagaan ng trabaho nya. May mga among kung makapag-post sa Facebook ay akala mo nagmimina ng pera. Pero ano ka, tanungin mo ang kasambahay at sasabihing ganito o ganun lang ang pasahod sa kanila. Sahod na hindi man lang makakabuhay ng pamilya. Sasabihin pa ng ibang amo, maswerte nga sila (kasambahay) at may take home pay silang PhP 2,000. Mahiya nga kayo! Nakakabili kayo ng bagay na higit sa PhP 2,000 pero ang magpasahod ng tama, hindi ninyo magawa! Wag kayong magtaka kung bakit pepeteks-peteks ang kasambahay nyo.

Sa kabaligtaran naman, may mga kasambahay na kukunin ang lahat ng oportunidad makapanlamang lamang. Hindi kayo binabayaran pala makipagtext maghapon, manuod ng TV maghapon, magpaganda maghapon at pumeteks-peteks maghapon! Matuto kayong pakibagayan ang ugali at kultura ng amo nyo!
Is Hotmail That Vulnerable?

September 12, 2012

Career, Finance & Product

Last September 9, my Hotmail was attacked by a Trojan virus.
My last log in date was September 8 and I thought that my network was well-protected by Kaspersky.
This is not the first time that my Hotmail was hacked/attacked by a virus.
The first one was in 2005 when I clicked on a link sent by a “friend.”
The link was able to know my password and changed it.
Upon realizing that the sender was not really my friend but a virus, I changed my password.

It’s always my habit to log off my accounts after using them so I have no idea how my hotmail got infected.
I researched about viruses in Hotmail and I found out that I was not alone in this predicament.
What made me more anxious about the virus attack was the sending of harmful links to my contacts, WordPress included.
I use Hotmail to post entries on WordPress.

A month before, three of my friends were also victims of this virus.
One chatted with me in Tagalog so the culprit was a Filipino.
Two chatted with me in a program-like conversation so they must be robots and not real persons.
The web is not safe and we are not really protected by anti-virus software.
Virus Attack

September 11, 2012

Career, Finance & Product

My hotmail was infected with Trojan virus.
I could not log on to my hotmail account this morning.
Worse, this virus sent a link to my WordPress account.
Embarrasing and infuriating!
To those who clicked the link posted by the virus last Sept. 9, my apologies.
It is never my intention to spread virus.
I don’t know how that happened, my Kaspersky is still working.
=(
First Heartbreak

September 7, 2012

Life & Love

It’s not time to make a change.
Just relax, take it easy.
So the lyrics of a song say.
I was 17 years old when I found myself singing that song.
Subconciously, I knew that the major change in my life then was getting into a
romantic relationship.
I was 17. Young and wild and free, as another song says.
When I met my first boyfriend, I knew he was The One.
My instinct just told me that he must have been The One.
If being an accurate psychic takes a lot of practice, then I failed in predicting
that my first boyfriend was The One.

My experiences in love and life pushed me to become a protective parent.
My children’s welfare comes first to me than anybody or anything else.
I am not your typical modern Filipina mother who lets her kids do things on their own.
I keep a suspecting eye to my children’s moves and moods.
Having a toddler and a baby is a challenge, I know.
But I underestimated the fact that having a teenage child is the most challenging.

When my teenager blushed at the message alert tone of her Nokia phone in February this year,
I thought that having an avid admirer was cute and harmless. She mentioned to me about her
admirer’s traits but denied that she had fallen into his persistence.
My daughter could never lie to me, I thought.
I was a twelve year old girl when I had my first brave suitor.
My father confronted the guy and he hated me for years for not fighting for us.
I hated my father’s concern then but I was so afraid of him so I never got the chance to
even say good-bye to my first brave suitor.
Years later, I considered my father’s concern as a blessing-in-disguise; the first brave suitor
didn’t turn out to be the man that’s meant for me.
So there, while my daughter was delightful for every message alert tones that she hear,
I was cool about it because I thought that she was not interested in pursuing a serious relationship with him, anyway.

When my daughter confided in June that she and her admirer were already an item since March, I was put
into a do or die situation. It was a situation as delicate as a double-edge sword. What would happen if I resent?
Would she still confide her daily activities with me? What would happen if I allow? Would they go beyond my limits?
Being such a diplomatic person, I allowed their relationship if and only if it’s a healthy relationship.
As long as both of them maintain their good grades and class standing, then it’s fine with me.
Then the issue of the boyfriend being a non-believer of our religious faith came in. I realized that no matter what,
the beliefs of our faith should emerge on the top 3 reasons on why their relationship should put to an end.
I reminded my daughter about our doctrines and she responded that the boyfriend was more than willing to
embrace our religion. I knew I had to deal with her in the most tactful way.

I was a hopeless romantic but not to the extent of obsession. If calling up each other early in the morning and late at night
and seeing each other after class is called obsession, then my daughter and her boyfriend were guilty of that.
There was a time in July when I panicked because my daughter was not yet home at past 6PM! She knew my
curfew rules and hello, 6PM is already late when you’re living in the countryside.
I’ve seen a lot of red flags in their relationship and tried my best to point them out to her in every chance that I could
but the girl was obviously enjoying in her lovelife so she didn’t listen.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when her boyfriend wouldn’t allow her to take her exam just to be with him.
Her adviser texted me to invite me for a meeting with the school principal. It turned out that that meeting was actually
a conference attended by no less than the boyfriend’s mother and his teachers. It was no small issue, I thought.

Cutting of classes cum stalking is not acceptable to me. This is not a normal behavior and theirs is not a normal relationship.
I decided that it was time to cut their relationship. I’ve let them enjoy their time and now, it’s time for them to
behave and act like any 15 year old children. My gosh, when I was 15, I had sleepless nights because money was the problem then.
I kept asking myself if my parents could afford to send me to college. Here is my 15 yr old and crying helplessly over her
first heartbreak!

It breaks my heart to see my daughter cry. But as a parent, it is my obligation to guide her and protect her.
I received more than a hundred missed calls and more than fifty text messages from her ex-boyfriend asking me for
a second chance to prove himself. I didn’t reply to any because he could get so insisting, I’m tired of explaining my decision.

My father, sister-in-law and brother were all supportive of her. I didn’t get a good night sleep last night because of my daughter’s pain.
In my mind and heart, cutting their relationship was the best option now that things were getting out of hand.
It breaks my heart to see her cry. It breaks my heart to see her ex-boyfriend cry.
There will be a better tomorrow soon, I hope.