The World of Second Chances

Surviving The First Trimester in Pregnancy

September 6, 2011

Life & Love

Aversion to certain foods, sleepiness, dizziness, vomiting, nausea, mood swings, back pain, headache—the curse of the first trimester in pregnancy. Some women even experience it for the whole nine months! Last September 4 was my second month of pregnancy. I don’t really know when conception occurred but medically and technically speaking, since July 4 was the first day of my last menstruation, then I am now on my second month even if conception occurred in August.

I’m a working mother, careerwoman is a better description. I devote my time to church, family and work. I had an easy pregnancy with Adi so there never was any pregnancy-related interruption or absences. This time, my morning/afternoon sickness is terrible! I realize that all I need to do is to embrace what’s happening inside of me. Because the more I think of how awful I feel, the more I feel miserable about this difficult pregnancy.

1. No rushing- I’m a tomboy. I prefer boots and sneakers over high heels or stilletos. I’m always on the go. I even run to the swiping area just to beat the 8:00 AM time in. Now, fast movements make me dizzy. I’m taking things slowly and temporarily put my tomboy personality on hold.
2. Ice cold water- Whenever I feel like vomiting, I sip ice cold water. Ice cold water relaxes and refreshes my mouth.
3. Mint candies- Clorets mint candies are now my bestfriend. It refreshes my mouth and it removes the metallic taste most pregnant women have.
4. Salonpas- For stiff neck and stiff shoulder, Salonpas makes a good pain reliever.
5. Wet wipes- A must aside from ice cold water. Wet Wipes provides a relief once the dizzy spell comes in. Simply wipe on face and neck to freshen up.
6. Good Pillow- There are pregnancy pillows available in the market. If you can’t afford one, buy something big and soft to have a comfortable sleep.
7. Lotion- Vitamin E capsule will do, too. Now is the time to prepare your skin for stretching. Pamper the skin around your tummy with mild lotion or vitamin E to nourish it.
8. Banana and Crackers- When taken in the morning, banana and crackers are said to prevent morning sickness.
9. Rest- Don’t force yourself to clean the house if you can’t. Now is the time to be lazy! Give yourself a much needed rest.
10. Look forward to the 2nd and 3rd trimester!- Preparation is very important. Have you filed your SSS Maternity Notification? Have you updated your Philhealth status? How much money can you save? Where will you borrow money in case the worst thing happens? Have you started teaching your teammates about your job? Have you told your boss about your pregnancy?
Post Mortem Photography

September 3, 2011

Life & Love

I have the habit of taking pictures of Adi while sleeping but after reading about post mortem photography during the Victorian era, I’ll never ever take pictures of my sleeping baby ever!

This video is one example of post mortem photography–>http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=07hNTSNDzaE. These kids were cute and beautiful, they would have made lovely adults had the angel of death let them lived. These kids looked like they were just in deep slumber. The background music was dramatic, it made me cry.

Back in college, a classmate showed me a photo of her baby. I asked her why she had to put on lipstick on her baby’s lips and she said that that photo was taken hours after her baby’s death. It gave me the chills but I understand where she was coming from; a grieving young mother who lost the opportunity to see her baby’s life and growth.
Boyfriend Material

September 2, 2011

Life & Love

Two years from now, my eldest child will be a college freshman. Not that I’m that old now, I happen to have her when I was in my late teens. Having a child at an early age left a permanent scar in my life. For years, I had troubles dealing with my own insecurities and guilt for not being prepared for parenthood. In the Philippines, a woman is considered a damaged good if she has an extra baggage and that used to be one of my insecurities before. I am open with my daughter about my life as a teenager and as a young parent. I always tell her to be a better person than me and to be wise enough in handling her emotions should she enter into a relationship. It’s hard to explain everything to a 14-year old girl who’s still very much a child in thoughts and appearance. Let me just share some of the things that I lectured to my daughter.

1. Your boyfriend should share your values and principles- It’s fun to have a little contradiction sometimes but MAJOR values and principles must never be compromised because if you believe in these values and principles by heart and just lose them because of your boyfriend, then you will not be happy in the long run. If you believe that you value FAMILY relations while your boyfriend thinks otherwise, then your relationship is doomed from the start.
2. Your boyfriend should respect your body- Public display of affection (PDA) comes with the right location. If you feel that your personal space is being violated and he thinks it’s okay, then something is wrong in how he views you as a woman.
3. Your boyfriend must be an inspiration, not your source of unhappiness- I hate it when boyfriends get so needy. I hate it when instead of spending time to study or do some homeworks, the boyfriend will appear and steal the girlfriend’s study time. I hate it when boyfriends dictate and dominate. There was a time when I needed to study my lessons inside the ladies’ room because my boyfriend would follow me (and disturb me) every now and then. I didn’t like it and I hated it. I was unhappy to be constantly being followed and I was deprived of my study time.
4. A little jealousy is fine but too much is not- Jealousy is a big sign of insecurity. If your boyfriend is insecure, you can never really please him unless he removes all doubts and reservations. A jealous boyfriend will frown at the sight of you being friendly with your male classmates. A jealous boyfriend will follow you everywhere until you feel suffocated. A little jealousy is fine, it’s even sweet. But too much of it is intoxicating and IRRITATING!
5. Your boyfriend must have enough money to spend on your date- I am talking about important dates like anniversaries and birthdays. Boyfriends must prepare for those special occasions instead of expecting girlfriends to chip in.
6. It’s okay not to see your boyfriend everyday- Believe me, it’s very tiring to be with your boyfriend everyday. When you’re young, pretty and smart, you need to explore the world! Join a dance club, Math club etc. Just don’t be confined with being with your boyfriend seven days a week. Why? You’re young and you’ll be missing a lot of opportunities. Instead of hanging around with your boyfriend after class, why not spend your “me-time” in the library to discover new information? You can’t grow if you’re always together and soon, one of you will outgrow the other.
7. Report any violent actions done by your boyfriend- Nobody has the right to hurt a person physically. Losing one’s cool does not give him the permission to slap you, kick you and push you. Don’t stay with a violent boyfriend for your own good.
Baguio Day

September 1, 2011

Life & Love

With the recent natural calamity that stuck Baguio, I am hesitant to greet them a “Happy Baguio Day!” Since I learned last Tuesday about the thrashslide in Irisan dumpsite that killed some residents, I have been worried about the safety of some people that I know who lives in Irisan. Mayor Mauricio Domogan is wise in saying that history will judge how the present (Baguio) government is performing in terms of rescue operation and clearing up. Instead of blaming anyone or getting dramatic, the mayor simply issued a simple statement with a lot of meaning. I know that this recent calamity is no match to the 1990 killer quake that rocked Northern Luzon. Nevertheless, it is still a calamity and nobody would like to see babies and old people sleeping on evacuation centers. I know that just like the old days, Baguio can rise again and rebuild itself for the better.
The Baguio government needs to clear up 15 metric tons of garbage in Irisan dumpsite. Several years back, the same thing happened in Payatas dumpsite where some scavengers were buried alive on mountains of thrash. We have thrash-related floods in Metro Manila, too. Obviously, thrash is a big environmental problem that we must not ignore. What happened in Irisan, Payatas and the flooded streets of Metro Manila is an effect, not the cause. But how do we really get rid of thrash, much more, mountains of thrash?
It’s holiday in Baguio today. I don’t know if big schools there like Saint Louis University, University of Baguio and University of the Cordillera have an outreach program today. These schools have always been charitable but involving their students is a better way to express empathy on those affected by the calamity.
Nips! Nips!

August 31, 2011

Career, Finance & Product

What’s your local version of M&M? Jack and Jill’s “Nips!” During the 80’s, the packaging was a white sachet with dots representing the colors of the rounded chocolates inside. The chocolates are 10% bigger and rounder then as compared to now. Today, Nips are packed using a blue sachet instead of the original white one. Nips may not be as tasty as M&M but comparing it with some local brands, its cocoa to sugar ratio is fine.

Jack and Jill could have spent much money on the fabrication of new molds, if the existing ones could not be revised. Or maybe, there came a time when the old molds need replacement. Thus, it must be the reason why there seems to be a 10% decrease on the chocolate candy size. Whatever size and whatever price, Nips is still a good alternative to M&M. =)
The Reluctant Mom

August 26, 2011

Life & Love

I just found out that I am one month on the family way. Mixed emotions. I texted my husband, he must be too busy, he’s not yet replying. I texted my sister-in-law, she replied quickly, excited about the good news. I texted a friend whose wife has just given birth to their second child. I will inform my father about it later in the evening, then my brothers, then my children. I don’t know how Adi will react to the good news. He’s the baby of the family, the beloved, the most special one. I, myself, am confused about my emotions. I always belittle my capabilities as a parent and I always have this thought that raising a child is not my core competency. My husband and I have plans of having another child in a year or two; reading the test pack result stunned me.

Anyways, I decided to document this pregnancy. This is my first month. I feel sleepy most of the time since last week. I feel that my temperature is up sometimes. I feel a dull pain on my lower left abdomen. That’s the weird thing about pregnancies, it will make you lose weight on the first trimester then it will make you gain weight on the second and third trimester. I will stick to my diet plan. I promise NEVER to gain so much weight on this pregnancy.
The Carla-Mario Confrontation

August 24, 2011

That’s Entertainment

Mario: Carla may gusto ka bang sabihin sa akin? I got your email?

Carla: Ha? Ay oo. Na hindi niyo pa ako naiinterview tapos may lumabas na article.

Mario: Natanggap mo ba email ko sa iyo?

Carla: Hindi pa. O sige I’ll read it.

Mario: What I said was, I used to be very fond of you. When you signed up with Regal, I was there. I think I was the first one who wrote a full article on you.

Carla: Yes

Mario: I’d been very supportive of your career from Rosalinda to all others na ginawa mong soaps….basta sa lahat ng ginawa mo sa GMA sinuportahan kita.

Carla: Yes and I’m thankful of that of course.

Mario: No.

Carla: Oo naman.

Mario: No, you never said that. Not once did you acknowledge anything I wrote positive about you.

Carla: No the whole article naman po was very positive. It’s just that you quoted me po well in fact you haven’t interviewed me yet.

Mario: Makinig ka sa akin yung sinasabi mo na hindi kita na-interview, lahat yon nanggaling sa Regal.

Carla: Okay.

Mario: So hindi mo alam ang slant ng Regal para sa pag-promote ng movie.

Carla: Okay.

Mario: MInsan lang akong may naisulat sa iyo na parang di mo nagustuhan, magrereklamo ka?

Carla: Hindi po.

Mario: And all the while I’ve been writing positive things about you, but you never acknowledged it or even said ‘thank you’ kahit minsan.

Carla: Opo.

Mario: Yun naman pala eh.

Carla: Paano ba natin ito aayusin?

Mario: Ang ibig kong sabihin, kapag may nasusulat na maganda sa iyo, wala kang reaction. Mayroon lang akong nasulat na binase ko lang sa press release ng Regal, sinulatan mo agad ako. You even went out of your way to find out my email address, you’ve never done that before.

Carla: Hindi po sa Facebook lang naman yon. Madali lang, well anyway, the point is not that I’m thankful for all your support Sir, pero nakakagulat lang po. I’m sure anybody would react to anything negative.

Mario: Wala akong isinulat na negative sa iyo.

Carla: Opo opo. wala naman akong sinasabing negative yung article.

Mario: Eh yun pala eh, bakit ka nag-react ng ganoon?

Carla: Hindi po. But in all fairness naman po maganda po ang article, inumpisahan niyo na ’3 years ago nandoon ako noong ni launch.’

Mario: Yun pala eh.

Carla: Opo but I hope Sir you will understand lang that I was reacting because I was quoted in the article.

Mario: Carla, I wrote articles about you based on press releases of GMA-7 not once did you complain.

Carla: Because not any of them were untrue. with this one po kasi..

Mario: Ito nga sinasabi ko sa iyo, lumabas na sa ibang column eh.

Carla: Opo, hmm sige po kung ibi-base niyo sa press release ng Regal, well siguro po may problema.

Mario: At saka lumabas na sa columns ng iba eh, bakit ka sa akin magrereklamo?

Carla: Hindi naman po lumabas yon eh, well hindi na lang po ako makikipag-away.

Mario: Hindi naman ako nakikipag-away. Gusto ko lang linawin na ikaw ang dami dami kong sinulat na maganda sa iyo, not once did you acknowledge it. Pero ngayon, may hindi ka nagustuhan bigla kang magrereklamo ng ganyan.

Carla: O sige po, ok lang po yon.

Mario: Alam mo, kumpara kay Lovi Poe na talagang when you write something about her, she acknowledges it, she thanks you, wala akong masasabi, she has more manners than you.

Carla: Ok, siguro po I think I will just finish this by apologizing. Kung kayo po ay na-offend, in a way, ako din po. I was just reacting because na-misquote po ako. I hope that you will understand me coming from my end po kung bakit ako nag-re-react. It was not my intention to make you feel bad, never po. Sana po ay maayos natin kung ano ang nangyari at bakit umabot sa ganitong point. So sorry po if you feel bad, sorry if you feel I’m not thankful I am po very much thankful for all your support for all the good articles you’ve written about me, maraming salamat po and I’m really sorry if I offended you in any way.

Mario: Okay, but I just wish you would re-read what you’ve written me because you are telling me what to write in my column. You even made a threat against me. Basahin mo ang column ko, ang sabi mo ‘if you are not going to issue an erratum’ which is not the right word. What you want is a retraction, which I will never do because I based it yun sa ano ng Regal, basahin mo nga yung letter mo.

Carla: Hindi po, ayusin po natin yan after ng press con para po malinawan po tayo. Pero I’m sorry po, I’m sorry.
Source: http://usnewslasvegas.asia/entertainment/veteran-columnist-scores-carla-abellana/

Is this just a promo for Regal’s latest movie, “My Neighbor’s Wife?” I don’t think so. Why will Regal “sacrifice” Carla Abella just for the promo when Lovi Poe is the more controversial actress? Unless Mother Lily favors Carla the most among the four stars, she can “fabricate” this controversy to create noise on Carla’s image. Carla has always been portrayed as sweet and intellectual, maybe it’s time for her to be daring and unpredictable to make her more exciting. The last spicy thing that she said before the press was when she said that although she and Marian Rivera both came from DLSU, she graduated with honors. But that was forgivable. She was launched in Rosalinda and the rest is history.

Patulan ko ba ang awayang to? Wala lang. I just think that both parties have shortcomings.
1. According to Carla, the things that she supposedly said on Mario B’s column were not hers. Later on, she will find out that those were supposed to be promotional materials from Regal Films. Had Carla called up Mario to discuss about the article, she would have known where Mario’s words came from. Sometimes, it’s better to talk to the person rather than write an email. Emails are subjective unless you write about figures (money, statistics etc) Words that are okay with the sender might not be okay with the receiver.
2. Should Carla be grateful for all the positive write ups that Mario wrote for her in the past. Yes. I think Mario was more hurt than angry because Carla seemed to disregard all the positive write ups that he did for her in the past. But Mario went overboard when he compared Carla with Lovi in terms of who has better manners? The issue is between he and Carla and a single incident of ungratefulness does not mean that Carla has lesser manners than anybody else.
3. I wonder why Mother Lily did not interrupt the press con when it was obvious that the veteran one would not stop until he voiced out his concerns. Unless this is a promo for the movie, then why bother to interrupt the exchange of emotional words?

It wouldn’t surely take long and this feud would end. After all, as they always say, showbiz is just a small industry.