I remember a person based on three things: scent, song and season.

Scent:

My late mother loved perfumes. She wore a perfume based on her mood or occassion. When she passed away in 2009, I became the caretaker of her perfumes. I said “caretaker” because I never really use them; I just safekeep them. Because her memory is stored in a bottle, I am very protective and reactive whenever anyone tries to use them. Yes, I can just buy another bottle but I won’t feel any special connection with it anymore because it’s no longer my mother’s bottle. It is my bottle, my own memory. Whenever I want to feel her presence, I just dab a little scent on my skin.

Song:

Most of the special people in my life, I associate them with songs. The connection between the song’s lyrics and to my personal experiences with the people who come and go to my life are just complementary.

Season:

Christmas of 2009 was the hardest:

-it was the first Christmas without my mother

-it was my first Christmas away from home

-it was my first time NOT to celebrate Christmas because of a changed religious belief

Some holidays were a torture to me until I finally let go of the painful events and just deal with the loss–be it a death, a separation or a break-up of a relationship or friendship.

Some memories are there to stay with me and one, two or sometimes all of the three factors that I mentioned above serve as the catalyst. I am letting go of the bad memories and I’ve started creating happy memories since 2012.

As one author said, we cannot appreciate the moment until it becomes a memory.