The World of Second Chances

When Birthday Is A Thing Of The Past

May 9, 2013

Wedding & Family Life

You used to be excited about your birthday, Chariz!

First off, happy birthday to you Chariz!

My three-year old son attended a birthday party yesterday. Though he was initially grumpy because of unfamiliar faces, his mood lightened up when the clown performed some magic tricks. When we got back home, I reminded him that tomorrow is his elder sister’s (Ate) birthday. He got excited and asked if it would be just like the birthday party that we attended.

From a toddler’s point of view, all birthdays must come up with a celebration: cake, ice cream, balloons and clown. Adi expected his Ate’s birthday to have those features. A week ago, I asked my daughter how she wanted to celebrate her birthday and she said that at her age (turning 16), she found it weird to even celebrate it.

Ah, gone are the days when she used to ask me every now and then how we would celebrate her birthday. Since her birthday falls on a summer, the usual celebration was a swimming party for the family. The most memorable one was our beach party at my mother’s friend’s private resort in Bagac, Bataan in 2008. When proximity was an issue, we would just hang out in Villa Amanda Resort in Abucay, Bataan. The owner was my mother’s boardmate in college so there was always pancit bilao delivered to our cottage for free. Chariz was so happy at the sight of the pancit and thought what an “expensive” gift she had! (Of course, I appreciate the pancit, Tita but my point is, from a child’s point of view, little gifts really mean a LOT.)

Where we used to unwind and celebrate.

The moral of the story, like what I’m always saying, “minsan lang sila bata” especially now that kids grow up really fast, physically and emotionally.Enjoy the times when your kids are still very much dependent on you. Take every opportunity to be there for them. Bring your kids to the mall, buy them cotton candies, let them window-shop (and buy the item if it’s worth it) with you, accompany them to the salon or barber shop, attend PTA’s—these would seem like simple activities to you but in the eyes of a child, being with their parents is the greatest gift one could ever have.
Family Feud Rules

April 29, 2013

Wedding & Family Life

Masaya naman sila noon!

Kalurki ang bangayang Claudine Barreto vs. Gretchen Barreto. Andaming nadadamay, ha! Ano ba talaga pinanggalingan? Ang instagram hater ba ni Julia Barreto o iba pang issue? Ang pangit lang kasi kagaganda nilang mga babae, nagbabangayan na parang taga-tabi tabi lang. Ang di ko ma-gets eh yung kampihan issue na parang botohan sa pagiging class president. Paramihan na lang ba ng kakampi. Dapat kasi, sa bawat family feud, may rule na pinapairal.

Rule # 1. Ang magulang ay laging nasa gitna.
– Hindi pwedeng may favorite child ang magulang. Kung meron man, dapat hindi ito halata ng hindi paborito. Natural, ang mga bunso ang favorite by default. Ang mga middle child ang may issue sa mga ganyan eh. Insecure kasi ang mga middle child. Ang mga firstborn, keber lang yan kung paborito sila o hindi. At usually, ang firstborn, paborito yan ng lolo at lola, tito at tita. So ang natitirang parang hilaw, eh yung mga nasa gitna. Ang magulang, pag nagkasala ang mga anak at kailangang mamalo, dapat pareho. Paluin ang nakatatanda sa pagpatol sa nakababata at paluin ang nakababata dahil sa disrespect sa nakatatanda. Hindi pwedeng may kakampihan ang magulang. Made-demoralize ang hindi kinampihan at lalaki naman ang ulo ng kinampihan.

Rule # 2. Ang mga kapatid, wag makisali sa alitan.
– Okay na sana si Jayjay at Gia eh. Concern sila kila Gretchen at Claudine. Kaso ang ending, naging tug of war ang labanan. Nagsalita si Jayjay tungkol kay Claudine, bumanat naman si Gia tungkol kay Gretchen so paikot-ikot lang ang labanang to. Pangit sa magkakapatid yung nagkakampihan kasi magkakapatid kayo eh. Sa halip maging peacemaker, nagiging firestarter ang dating ng kumakampi.

Rule # 3. Wag makialam ang kaibigan sa away-pamilya.
– Yeah right, Tania Montenegro. Quiet na quiet ka sa Gretchen-Nadia feud pero eto ngayon at lumabas ka to speak about Gretchen and her childhood? Wag naman sanang mangyari sa amin ito pero hindi ko hahayaang makisawsaw ang kahit na sino sa away o usaping pampamilya ko. Ang para sa pamilya, pamilya lang ang makakalutas. Hindi si Pedro, hindi si Juan at hindi si Mother Lily at Robbie Tan.

Rule # 4. Wag isapubliko ang away.
– Sa barangay, may mga pamilyang nag-aaway away. Naku, ang gulo! Pag naging barangayan na ang labanan, asahan mo yung mga kapitbahay mong tsismosa, ikakalat na ang baho ng pamilya nyo. Sino ba naman ang magbe-benefit sa family feud at mud throwing kundi ang mga usisero? Mahirap isapubliko ang away at kaya nga nabibilib pa rin ako sa level ng maturity ng Padilla brothers na kahit di tanggap ni Robin ang pagiging Bebe Gandanghari ni Rustom eh wala kang maririnig na kadramahan mula sa kanila.

Rule # 5. Ituro sa mga anak ang pagmamahalan at paggalang sa isa’t-isa.
– Mahirap i-manage ang malaking pamilya. Mahirap ituro ng pantay ang values dahil may mga anak na pwedeng isinilang during the dry season na hikahos ang pamilya at kelangang magtipid kaya yun ang value na kinamulatan ng bata. Kontra naman sa sumunod anak na pinanganak during the wet season na umuulan ng biyaya kaya ang nakalakihan ng bata ay luho at materyal na bagay. Mahirap i-align ang ilang bagay-bagay pero kung itututuro ng magulang ang pagmamahalang magkakapatid, maimumulat sa bata at a young age ang ang nakatatanda ay dapat nagpapasensya at kumakalinga sa nakababata at ang nakababata ay dapat nirerespeto ang nakatatandang kapatid.

Rule # 6. Ang naibigay na, ay naibigay na.
– Dapat walang sumbatan ng nagawa o naitulong. Bakit ka pa tumulong kung habangbuhay mo namang uungkatin ang naitulong. Ang bagay na naibigay na, hindi na iyo yun.

In the end, magkakabati din ang mga yan. Dahil ang Rule # 7 ko ay ang PAMILYA ay PAMILYA kaya dapat magmahalan at magkapatawaran.
The FB Connection

April 23, 2013

Wedding & Family Life

My niece’s getaway with her cousins from her mother’s side, my younger brother’s fluctuating weight, my youngest brother’s emo posts, a friend’s promotion, a classmate’s battle with cancer, new nieces and nephews from my father’s side, hi and hellos with my cousins from both sides of my family..ah this is the Facebook age.

During the old times, my parents and I would go to a relative’s house to see the newborn baby. It was always a joyful event with titas or lolas asking the new mother how the delivery went through.

“Did you have a rough time?”
“Don’t drink cold beverages!”
“Ah, boiled guava leaves are better than betadine.”
And so on and so forth.

Little hands of excited cousins would hold the newborn.
Titas or lolas would scold us for fear of transmitting germs to the baby.
Then, there was a HERD of titas who helped the new mother take care of the child.
It was convenient. It was helpful. It felt good, for the new mother to have a lot of helping hands.

When I gave birth to my firstborn, the titas and titos were there at the hospital. One tita even breastfed my baby because no milk came out of me. Another tita patiently acted as reliever for my mother because my lola was also confined in the hospital. It felt good to have people taking care of you when you needed them most.

When I gave birth to Adi, the same tita visited me in the hospital. It felt good to have my tita and my family around even if they needed to travel from the province just to visit me. When Robi was born, the only “proof” that I gave birth was the pictures that I posted in Facebook. There were congratulatory comments, of course. I could still feel their joy for me but it was different because gone are the days of old-school practice of home visit.

How many nieces and nephews are added to our family since Facebook became popular and since some of us settled elsewhere? Two? Three? Four? Ah, they were at least six all in all. Good thing the family is connected through Facebook and if there’s one good thing that I like about this technology, it is its ability to somehow create a connection with people that we either got lost in contact or the people that we seldom see.
Beautiful Bagac (BATAAN)

April 23, 2013

Travel

30-45 minutes from Balanga City.
Bagac is the perfect weekend getaway!

Replica of a datu’s house in Las Casas.

Green sea!

The beach in the morning.

Night swimming at Bagac Bay Beach Resort

Photo courtesy of Elmer Reyes.
For more info:

http://www.bagacbaybeachresort.com/
http://www.lascasasfilipinas.com/
Janine Tugonon What Ifs

April 20, 2013

That’s Entertainment

Janine and Jaypee

What if Janine didn’t meet Danny O’Donoghue and instead met an ordinary guy, would she be persecuted the way she is being persecuted right now?

What if Janine and Jaypee cancelled their Kris TV guesting, would their break up announcement be as controversial? (Janine looked irritated and bored most of the time except when she discussed about Danny and how they met. )

What if Janine stayed with Jaypee just like what she promised after she won the 1st-runner up crown, wouldn’t she be bashed for taking an average-looking boyfriend? (And in the first place, it’s none of our business if Jaypee is average-looking or not. It was Janine who chose him, anyway.)

What if Jaypee stayed out of the limelight, would he be spared from everyone’s curiosity?

What if after all, Danny was not really the reason why Janine’s love for Jaypee seemed to fade away? What if they really have other issues and getting attracted to another guy is the EFFECT and not the CAUSE?

What if after all our bashings, they (Janine and Jaypee) get back together? Would some angry and affected netizens bash Jaypee, too for taking her back?
Child Labor

April 20, 2013

Life & Love

Case 1: The Yema Vendor in Olongapo
When I was still living and working in Olongapo, there was this young boy who would approach people to sell sweets. The boy was about 8-10 years old at that time, neat and goodlooking. Out of fondness, my friend and I would buy a pack or two of his yema candies. The yema candies did not taste good but whenever that boy would pass by us, my friend and I would call him to buy some sweets. My friend had a loving heart for struggling streetkids and buying goods from them would encourage them to be productive instead of playing cara y cruz. I felt weird everytime I saw that young boy still out at 9PM. He should be sleeping at home instead of selling yema candies. What if a pedophile abduct him?

Case 2: The Paputok Maker in Bocaue
I am no fan of firecrackers. It’s just a waste of money! Buying firecrackers for New Year’s Eve celebration requires a lot of justification on my husband’s part. Aside from being risky, my lungs get tortured from the firecrackers’ toxic fumes. I don’t get it why parents let their kids get employed on a firecracker factory when there are other options like being a helper at a bakery. Worse, the owners of this kind of business deliberately hire children to cut on labor cost. How do they train those kids to be careful on material handling? Heck, you don’t give risky job to untrained and uncapable operators.

Case 3: Child Prostitution
Prostitution is an age-old profession and some prostitutes just accepted the fact that this is their profession but to force children into prostitution is another thing. What is more heart-breaking is to know that in some cases, it is their parents who peddle them into the flesh trade. It is sickening to imagine how a 20, 30, 40 and even 50 and up something man could stomach having sex with a child as young as six years old! A pimp approached my friend and offered his ward. The girl was between 9-12 years old with frail body but with a naughty smile. The girl was made to believe that prostitution was just their way of life and having sex with strangers for a fee was okay so that she could help her family.

Different cases of child labor but same bottomline: children are meant to enjoy their youth and parents must provide for their kids and not the other way around. That is why I salute parents who have the tenacity to send their kids to school no matter how financially hard up they are.
Living With Strangers

April 16, 2013

Life & Love

picture taken from the web

It is safe to assume that almost all of us will come to a point in our life wherein we have to live with strangers like:

– a college freshman who needs to stay in a dormitory
– a college fresh graduate who needs to stay in a boarding house near his/her workplace
– elementary students in a summer camping activity
– exchange students
– students or office workers doing missionary/charitable works
– a stay-in employee living with his/her employer
– in some cases, living with your husband or wife after a fixed marriage (yeah, right!)

How bad and how sad is it to live with strangers? Usually, the newcomer is the one who needs to adjust to the rules and regulations of the old-timers in a dormitory or boarding house. Culture-clash cannot be prevented in a situation of closely living with somebody unfamiliar to you. What is acceptable to you might be taboo to the other person and vice-versa. A loud music to you might be a lullabye to your housemate. Then there’s the issue of equal sharing to the electricity and water bill especially if you think that you are shortchanged in the computation. Of course, privacy is also an issue because some people prefer not to entertain visitors at the dorm or boarding house. In the case of an employee living with his/her employer, the working hours written on the contract is prone to be violated if you’re just a stone-throw away from each other.

The Big Brother House is one hell of a description about how it is to live with somebody you don’t know. Big Brother intentionally did not get housemates with similar interests and personalities for the purpose of entertainment. Imagine a house full of Lucy Torreses or a house full of Ethel Boobas; the former would be comparable to a convent while the latter, to a circus.

In reality, the winning housemate must be the one who is able to keep a harmonious relationship with all of his/her housemates. Age has something to do with patience because younger people have shorter temper. As a person matures, his/her understanding about life and how to interact with the other person is broader and better.

We are always reminded about being respectful about our housemate’s belongings but the first step in dealing with a stranger is to know and understand his/her culture and as well as his/her family background. After discovering one’s culture and background, we will be more understanding about his/her personality and then, respect and acceptance will follow.