It’s just a rumor that the KimXi breakup happened in October, but the two only confirmed it after two months. Why is it difficult to admit or announce a breakup? It’s challenging to admit because you’re still processing what happened, and in the back of your mind, you may still hope for a chance to fix things. It’s difficult to say because it only reinforces the reality that it’s over. It’s hard to say when people believe that everything is okay between you two, and suddenly it’s not.
I don’t believe there’s equal love in a relationship. Someone always loves more, even if it’s just a 0.1% difference. In a breakup, the impact is the same—someone is more affected. The one more affected doesn’t immediately speak up because the pain is too much. More often than not, they don’t seek sympathy while processing the breakup, especially if they still love the person. They don’t want others to view their ex in a negative light.
There’s a Parokya ni Edgar song that I really like, “Lagi Mong Tatandaan.” It gives advice to women in a relationship and expresses the singer’s stand on a woman’s boyfriend’s life. The bottom line is, if your boyfriend truly loves you, he won’t let you go. I believe there are levels of love. Some genuinely loved each other but separated because the guy loved something else—whether it’s a career, ambition, family, or another person. I also believe that if a relationship lasts more than two years, it might be because it serves as the guy’s safety net or comfort zone, not necessarily because he sees a future with his girlfriend. It happens.
Let’s not bash women who are waiting for a marriage proposal. It’s not outdated. Just as there are women who are fine being single forever, there are those who want to get married and start a family. There should be no comparison in the happiness of each individual.
Moving on after a breakup takes time for different people. Some can move on after 6 months, while others may take 6 years. It’s challenging to move on when you’re the one left behind, especially when you recall the places where you used to go or eat together. So my advice to those in the healing stage is to leave, if possible. If relocation is an option, go for it. It’s not healthy to be trapped in the past while your ex quickly moves on. Find a new hobby, explore new places, and meet new people. Change your phone number and limit your social media exposure. Not everyone genuinely cares about you; some are just curious. Keep your healing process private and special because not everyone cares about you. Look at the positive side of life.
When I was 17, my dorm mate Ate Joy asked me how I would feel if my first boyfriend broke up with me. My response was, “That’s how it goes.” “That’s how it goes” because I might lose him when we’re old. “That’s how it goes” because even if we get married, we might still separate. “That’s how it goes” because one of us might get sick and pass away. If I’m bound to lose him someday, all I have to do now is show him how much I love him. By the way, I was only 17 when I said that. When it actually happened and we broke up, no matter how mentally and emotionally prepared I thought I was, I wasn’t. It took me a while to process it, and my mistake was having a rebound relationship too soon, which didn’t work out either. So, I don’t recommend having a rebound relationship. Just heal in peace and quiet. And, of course, prayers can do a lot to nourish our spiritual state.