The World of Second Chances

Instant Love and Instant Good-Bye

January 2, 2018

Life & Love

Note: I was able to retrieve an old typewritten diary that I wrote in 1996.

Summer of 1996 at the dance hall; I was so tensed practicing our dance steps for the event later as it was my first time in two years to dance in front of the public. Good thing, I was in the company of Jenny, Ronna and Ness; they were my shock absorber. I wouldn’t be this tensed had the audience were not foreigners! We finished the practice by lunch time and we were expected to be back by 2:00 PM. The guests were expected to arrive by 2:30 PM. I felt exhausted but I had to make it.

At exactly 2:30 PM, 25 Japanese teens and 5 Japanese adults entered the room smiling. We exchanged pleasantries; the Filipinos, in Tagalog while them, in Nippongo. You wouldn’t know by their genuine smile that they came straight from the airport. The program started with a brief speech from one of the Japanese adults. It was followed by a Japanese song performed by the Japanese teens.

The following day, we toured them around the province. A Japanese teen greeted me with a broken “Maganda umaga, binibini.” The tour went fine; the two adults Kadaka and Tosho asked me a lot of questions. Kadaka-san was fluent in English while Tosho-san had a hard time understanding me. I didn’t see myself as a fluent conversationalist but some of them thought that I was!

When we reached Bagac, we got off the tourist bus and started the ceremonial hiking. I became fast friends with Yoshie and Yuka. Yoshie was good in music; she played the piano well. We show them the Filipino-Japanese Friendship Tower.

“Friendship? Like you and me?” Yoshie said to me.

After the tour, we went back to the hall for lunch. Kadaka-san asked the group to mingle with each other. The Japanese teens were distributed and soon I was in the company of Yoshie and Kazume. They were so friendly and adorable, we could be friends forever! A tall, white and handsome Japanese teen approached me and said, “Nice dance.” He was pertaining to the event yesterday. My Filipina friends blushed upon hearing this. He was their favorite! He got a camera and took pictures of us. My heart could melt at that time!

Kadaka-san and Tosho-san teased me if I wanted to go to Japan someday. Of course, I said yes! (Now, I don’t know if they meant going there through a marriage for convenience, travel or work! LOL!)

That night, there was a mini-party at the hall. I was able to meet more friends like Keiko. The tall, white and handsome Japanese teen approached our group. I asked his name again because I couldn’t remember.

“Takayuki. But you can call me Tako,” he said smiling.

He said something in Nippongo and the group teased him. One of them translated it in English.

“He said, you’re the prettiest!”

“Yes, you are a beautiful lady, ” Tako seconded.

Another guy named Yozuka, the rebel-without-a-cause and the Mr. Nice Guy named Takeshi seemed to agree. I was not used to hearing flattering words; I felt the gush of blood on my cheeks.

The newspaper dance with Tako was a success because at his towering height, he could lift a petite woman like me. He was gentleman enough not to take this opportunity at his advantage. At one moment, I thought I could hear his heartbeat. His hands were cold and I wondered if it was the air conditioner or his feelings that were revealing him. At one point, he asked my age.

“18,” I said, “What about you?”

“20.”

The newspaper dance was tiring so we just rested after it. He asked about my hobby and I found out that we both loved swimming. Yozuka made face.

The next game was trip to Jerusalem. Conscious of each other’s feelings, I decided to be prim and proper by not choosing to sit down on Tako. After the warm-up games, we had disco until the early hours of the morning.

The next day was their last stay in the Philippines. I brought a small address book and asked them to write down their name and address. Tako wrote a heart symbol. The brief and unforgettable time with him became a treasured memory.

“Happy trip, Tako,” I said.

He held my hands and said, “Why don’t you come to Japan?”

“Maybe someday?” I said.

Takeshi smiled at me and said “Sayonara.”

Yozuka bid his farewell and said that he would never forget a girl like me.

The Japanese girls were more emotional, they were crying while saying their good-bye. I found myself crying, too in the company of Yoshie S, Yoshie, Yuoko, Keiko and Kazume. They were my instant friends and what an instant good-bye! It was the most dramatic demonstration of love and friendship that I would cherish forever.

***************************

Fast forward to 2018. As I was reading this piece of shit (joke!), I couldn’t help but notice that my young self was too vulnerable about falling in love. My young self was too naïve and too focused on the romantic side of love (no wonder, I had some heartaches before!)The good thing was, I was able to feel that electrifying moment.
Why Ruel Cabatingan is a Douche!

December 29, 2017

Life & Love

Now that half of the dust is settled, we all know by now that the killer of Ruby and Nicole Gamos are none other than the former’s lover. Ruel is said to be Ruby and husband Marlon’s kababata so he is no stranger to the widower. It now makes sense why there was no force entry on the Gamos’ residence because the killer lived with his victims until that fateful night. The subdivision’s security system was even put under public scrutiny; looking for lapses and clues.
The public’s heart goes out to Marlon Gamos for having to endure another painful episode in his life. He was an ordinary citizen that was accidentally put into the spotlight for all the wrong and scandalous reasons. Reasons that could have been prevented had there was self-control on the side of Ruby and Ruel.
My take on what could have happened is this: yes, Ruel did kill Ruby and Nicole not out of spontaneous jealousy but maybe because Ruby wanted to end their illicit affair as she was looking forward to her church wedding with Marlon. Ruby probably came to her senses that agreeing to a church wedding would mean moral responsibility to preserve her marriage. This did not sit well with Ruel.
Why do I say that Ruel Cabatingan is a douche?
1. Ruel did not respect the BROTHERHOOD code. He knew Marlon all the way since they were teenagers. I don’t know if Marlon stole Ruby from Ruel when Ruel and Ruby were sweethearts but it’s clear that Ruel and Ruby cheated on Marlon and carried an illicit affair. A brother does not steal his brother’s wife because he knows that brotherhood and honour are synonymous with each other.
2. Ruel left his family to be with Ruby. Now, I am basing this from stories that Ruel is a married man with wife and kids. A decent man does not leave his wife and then start living with another man’s wife and daughter. Because Ruel is a douche, he didn’t care about his wife’s feelings. He didn’t care about his children’s well-being. He didn’t care about Nicole’s welfare. He simply cared what was between his legs!
3. Ruel took advantage of Ruby’s vulnerability. An affair always starts with a friendly chat. It’s up to a person if he or she will level it up from platonic to romantic relationship. Ruel, being a douche, knew how lonely Ruby was. He played on her emotions. While I don’t doubt that there was love between them,that love was so wrong to begin with and Ruel could have stayed away from temptation. He knew Ruby’s vulnerabilities and strength; they were ex-sweethearts in the first place.
4. Ruel deserves a life sentence for killing Nicole. A gentleman does not hit a woman but because Ruel is a douche, he killed an adult and a young child who cannot defend herself. To add insult to injury, he claimed in his now deactivated Facebook account that Nicole is his daughter! What a douche! That’s parricide, moron! I personally believe that Nicole is Marlon’s daughter because of the timeline of circumstances prior to her birth.
5. Ruel loves the mug shot. Who does he think he is? Gong Yoo? I’ve seen mug shots of criminals with lesser offense and here is this douche who’s being charged with murder, smiling happily as if “wala lang!”

My sympathy and prayers for Marlon for him to overcome this tragedy.
Kodak at Photoshop

December 27, 2017

Filipino Culture

Bago nauso sa atin ang digicam noong early 2000, sino ba naman ang mag-aakala na darating ang panahon na ang pagkuha ng litrato ay magiging very common na lang? The lowest price you can get for a film of 12 negative slots was around a hundred pesos during the late 80’s. Yung ibang camera na hindi rewindable ay lugi kapag may palpak sa shot mo dahil hindi mo na mao-overwrite ang kuha mo. Samantalang ngayon, halos lahat may camera na lalo’t kasama ito sa feature ng cellphone.

Ang mga usong camera film noon ay Agfa Color, Kodak Color at Fuji Film. Kapag rush ang pa-develop ng film, aabutin ka ng 30 minutes at may extra charge yun. Kapag naman normal na pa-develop lang, maghahantay ka ng 1-2 days depende sa dami ng dine-develop nila. Usong-uso noon ang pick up line na “Film ka ba? Kasi parang made-develop na ako sa yo!” (Ang kakornihan nga naman, walang pinipiling panahon. LOL)

Mula elementary hanggang high- school, hindi maaaring hindi kilala ng mga taga-Balanga si Mang Pikoy. Sya lang naman ang sikat na photographer sa Balanga para sa mga class picture. Jason Magbanua levels! During the class picture-taking at dahil bawal magkamali, talagang effort akong idilat ang mata ko. Grade 3 ako sa isang class picture namin, nakapikit ako! Buti na lang at may 3 kopya yun kaya pinili ko ang pinakamaganda. Fast forward to 2008, during my wedding preparation, biniro ko ang nanay ko na si Mang Pikoy ang kukunin kong photographer. Unfortunately, may sakit na ata sya noon at hindi namin mahagilap.

Aminado akong late bloomer pagdating sa what’s in noong araw kaya nagulat ako sa isang photo studio ng i-offer sa kaibigan ko na may option daw syang “iparetoke”ang graduation photo nya para kuminis naman sa litrato ang kutis nya.

“Eh bakit mo babaguhin?” tanong ko sa studio crew.

“Para makinis syang tignan,”sagot nya.

“Eh hindi naman sya makinis, di ba?”nalilito pa din ako dahil wala pa sa kamalayan ko ang retouch-retouch na yan ng litrato.

“Kasi ang graduation picture nyo ay habambuhay makikita kaya dapat maganda kayo,”sagot ulit ni Kuya.

“So paano ang gagawin mo?” usisa ko ulit. Medyo nako-conscious na ang friend ko nung mga panahon na yun.

“Ide-develop ko lang tapos pipicturan ko ulit sa mas magandang ilaw,”pang-wakas na sagot ni Kuya.

Nakumbinsi si friend na iretoke ang litrato nya at ako naman ay parang labag sa loob na baguhin kung anuman ang itsura nya. Sino ba naman ang makapagsasabi na mauuso years later ang photoshop? Na hindi lang sa desktop o laptop pwedeng baguhin ang itsura ng tao kundi maging sa cellphone, magagawa na through application.

Noong araw, kung pangit ang kuha mo, hindi mo agad ma-adjust o ma-filter. Pero ngayon, pwede mo pang baguhin ang kulay ng buhok at mata mo. Nakakaaliw pero minsan, kailangan din nating ipakita na nagkaka-pimple tayo, na pumuputi din ang buhok natin, na may laugh lines na tayo dahil hindi naman tayo imortal.
Lost and Found

December 26, 2017

Life & Love

The case of the then missing teenager, Ica Policarpio caught my attention in the same manner when children of less influential parents captured my heart. Personally, I have this interest and intent to help those who are lost and those who are looking for their missing family. As a citizen, what I have been doing is either blogging about the missing person or re-posting through Facebook the family’s plea to find their missing family. So when I read last early Friday morning about Bea Policarpio’s plea to help in looking for her missing sister, I hit the share button and hoped for the best outcome.

Friday night, my friends and I discussed about the circumstances of Ica’s disappearance minutes after she stepped out of the coffee shop where she was said to have stayed from afternoon up to almost 11:00 PM. I told them that there was nothing really unusual about her disappearance because she looked like she did it on purpose. The give-away was when she left her laptop and cellphone inside her bag while she looked for an establishment to break her 1000-peso bill. You don’t just leave your valuables unattended; even grade schoolers are aware of that. Ica probably did that to avoid being traced. The plot thickened when the following day there were news about her argument with her father prior to her disappearance.

Whatever the reasons, I sincerely hoped and prayed that nothing bad would happen to this young lady. Netizens were very happy to know that she was finally found in San Pablo, Laguna on Sunday Morning. Thanks to the technology and thanks to the information of Archie, Danica, Yra and the tricycle driver—except for Danica and Yra who were together when they saw her, the rest of them saw her in different locations.

A press conference attended by her father, Atty. Penny Policarpio, was held on the same day. The netizens expected that her father would tell what really happened. Their excitement and joy turned into bashing and questioning when Ica’s family requested for privacy. This is not the first time that a family of a missing person who went public when asking for help and then turned very private as soon as they found their kin; but Ica’s case was sensationalized in many level so the public became invested with her story so they demanded to know what really happened. Some were saying that she was really kidnapped that was why the family was mum about it. Some were trying to connect it to the 48-hour challenge wherein participants deliberately run away from home and fake their disappearance for likes and hits on Facebook. Some were making assumptions about her psychological state. Some said that she was just as spoiled brat. Unless otherwise clarified by her family, I stick to my impression that Ica just ran away to probably breathe a fresh perspective about life. She was lost and she was found; I’m okay with that as a netizen and I don’t demand for further explanation from them.

I believe that in due time, the real cause about her disappearance will be revealed. It’s a waste of time to be trying to squeeze information from her family when there are missing people around that need our help and attention.
Slam Book and Facebook

December 22, 2017

Filipino Culture
I grew up in the age of slam book, which was our Facebook in the ’80s. My first slam book was a small peach one, followed by a standard notebook size one and then a green hardbound one. My objective in having a slam book was to know more about my friends’ interests. My hidden agenda was to check who among my friends had the same crush as mine!

Let’s compare slam books versus Facebook:
1. Presentation- in terms of the presentation, the slam book is more personal since Facebook’s layout is generic. Therefore, a slam book’s appearance reflects the owner’s style.
2. Gender of the user- slam book is more popular to girls than boys while Facebook is popular to all genders.
3. Age of the user- assuming that both of them existed in the same era when it comes to slam book, the range of the users’ age is from 9-17 years old whereas Facebook users are from minors to seniors.
4. Accessibility- you need the slam book itself and a pen. Facebook users need a tablet, a mobile phone, or a computer and an internet connection.
5. Interface with friends- a slam book offers a more personal interface with the user’s friends because it’s awkward to be asking a stranger to have a few minutes to answer the questions on it. On Facebook, strangers and friends can just “like” your post if they find it amusing.
Out of curiosity, I tried to be my 10-year-old self again and answered a slam book that I found online. Of course, I didn’t have an email and blog when I was 10 years old. I got my first email when I started working, a company email. I had my first blog five years later.

As a 10-year-old, I consider going to the plaza alone as a big achievement because I was afraid of crossing a busy street. Until now, I still have that fear. I just put on a brave front and try to focus as much as possible when crossing the street. Funny how I always wrote that I wanted to be a doctor when I almost always fainted at the sight of the hospital before.

Most children of my time believed in Santa Claus. It was magical. Christmas softened everyone’s heart. Actually, the gifts that my brother and I received were simple and inexpensive. It was the thought that somebody as special as Santa Claus took time to “visit” us that counted.

Pink was the dominant color in my childhood. I was already in college when I realized that I never really wanted that color for myself. I was just influenced that it was my favorite.

My parents loved to wear perfume. It is something that I did not get from them. Today, I barely wear perfume–only when needed. In terms of my role model, I looked up to my late mother because she was sociable and intellectual.

I used to write in the slam book that I love jazz. Truth is, I’ve never heard a piece of jazz music not until I was 15 years old! But in terms of singer, Whitney Houston has always been on my list since I was a kid. In the 80s, almost every kid knew the lyrics of her hit song “The Greatest Love of All.” Ironically, I don’t remember being a fan of any celebrity (actors/actresses) before.

I laugh at my 10-year-old self now when I remember that I used to write that I love Japanese foods. How can that happen when there were very few restaurants in Balanga when I was growing up? And kinilaw na isda is not even a Japanese dish. What was I thinking then? Hahaha.

The weekend activity that I was referring to was the Saturday visit to the church with Mary Ann to pray with Ate Meding and the Banzon kids. We prayed the rosary for Mama Mary. They called it Legion of Mary. After that, Mary Ann and I would eat in Denbell’s and then go home.

One of my favorite hobbies was reading magazines like Time, Newsweek, MOD, Woman’s, and Women’s. When I started working, I bought my own magazines like Good Housekeeping and Health and Home. I stopped collecting magazines when it became more convenient to research on the internet.

Two of my favorite TV shows were Shaider and O-shin. They were the only Japanese-produced show that I loved when I was growing up. Holy Week in the 80s was more serene than the present time. The Ten Commandments never fails to impress me especially the parting of the Red Sea scene. I think this movie led me to be interested in reading the bible. Because of this influence, I have always believed that God is love.
Girl Scout Camping Experience

December 16, 2017

Filipino Culture
I wonder if being a Girl Scout or Boy Scout is still a big deal nowadays but back in my era (80’s), it was! I started as a star scout at the age of 9 but I couldn’t remember if I attended an investiture. The following year, I became actively involved in girl scout activities because that was one of the coolest things to do during those times. I felt proud wearing the green uniform, pink neckerchief with green and yellow ring, girl scout pin and hat. We wore the girl scout attire every Friday and if anybody did not wear it, it was like a mortal sin for either forgetting or for not joining the girl scout.

My grade IV teacher, Ms. Pruna announced one sleepy January that we’re going to have a girl scout camping on late February! I asked my BFF Shellah if she would join the camping and I was ecstatic to know that both of us were bent on joining it. There were two problems that we faced: first, if our parents would let us join the camping and second, we had no tent!

It took me a week to convince my father that the camping was worth it. It helped to have Shellah’s mother (Ate Ruby) to back us up. Besides, the camping site was a walking distance from our home and it was within the vicinity of the school. Our tent problem was solved when Rhonna told us that she could accommodate us.

The day before the camping, I packed my clothes and brought some kitchen utensils, cans of sardines, spoon, fork and plate. My parents were there during the opening ceremony at the school ground and when it was cooking time for dinner, they left. I felt like I was about to cry because separation anxiety was something that I couldn’t beat since I was in kinder. Shellah seemed to be enjoying so I just went with the flow and pretended that I was happy. My first night at the tent was unbearable because I had a slight aversion to enclosed spaces. As a result, I was mostly sleeping during the girl scout lectures the following day.

On our second night, there was a small miscommunication between our group leader and Shellah about the food. If I remember it right, all of us were adjusting to our own cooking capability and as well as the number of servings allowed per dish so how could you divide a small fried chicken into 8 little mouths? Shellah cried, maybe out of frustration. I cried, too but out of homesickness! Abigail tried to comfort us and she thought that I just cried because Shellah cried! Truth was, I cried because I wanted to go home!

The second night at Rhonna’s tent was another challenge for me. I wanted to tell her to open the zipper but I thought of worms and snakes entering our tent so I junked the idea. There were more daytime activities on that day and I felt like a walking zombie.

We had a bonfire on the 3rd night at the school oval and I was surprised to know how many of us were there. There were girl scouts from the other schools and as well as boy scouts from our school. I wish we had digital cameras in the 80’s!

Back at our camp site later, Shellah and I stayed at Ernaida’s tent to chat with classmates. Out of fatigue, we fell asleep at Ernaida’s tent. Her tent was thrice the size of Rhonna’s tent and had a small opening so I didn’t feel like I was enclosed. I woke up at around 2AM and saw some six girls sleeping. I went to Rhonna’s tent to get my pillow and slept again at Ernaida’s tent.

Truth is, I cringe every time I remember what I did to Rhonna. She was very generous in accommodating us but when I felt some discomfort, I left her without saying a word. I was 10 years old and I was stupid.

After the camping, I was very much relieved and I felt like I was away for 4 years, instead of 4 days.

“So what did you learn from the camping?” my mother asked.

“I learned how to cook using wood and tripod,” I replied.

“Only that?” she seemed surprised.

“Yes,” I was confused why she said that.

As a mother and many years later after that memorable camping, I would have wanted my children to learn the following:
- Independence- because parents wouldn’t be around forever.
- Reliability- because being in a group, team or family means being there for one another.
- Hard work-because we need to work for something that we want.
- Friendship- because no man is an island.
- Courage- because most of our fears are only imagined fears.
- Trust and obedience- because leaders are there for a reason.
- Loyalty- because a true friend stays through thick and thins.
Usog

December 13, 2017

Filipino Culture

This happened last night: “Mama, I want to sleep. I’m going to school tomorrow.”

Aba, himala! Maagang matutulog dahil may pasok pa daw sya bukas. I was on the verge of texting my father on what to do with my youngest son’s throwing up since lunchtime. Instead, I got the digital thermometer from my pouch and checked my son’s body temperature.

“37^C”—- I calmed myself and checked the internet for signs and symptoms of stomach flu. I gave him a bottle of probiotics and hoped that the symptoms would disappear. Fortunately, he fell asleep a little faster than I expected. Good job to myself!

I remember how I was prone to “usog” when I was a little girl.

“Kung saan-saan nyo dinadala ang bata, ayan, nababati tuloy,” my worried grandmother would tell my mother. Then, they would touch my feet to check if they were cold. If yes, then nausog nga ako.

“Who was the last person who greeted you?” my father would ask.

“Ah, si Tiya Felicing!”my mother would remember.

The three of us would go back to the market to look for Tiya Felicing. Kelangang malawayan daw ako para ako gumaling. Tiya Felicing, in her ever charming smile would apologize to me for causing trouble and then raise my shirt, wet her thumb with a little saliva and then press it lightly against my tummy.

“Gagaling ka na nyan,” Tiya Felicing would say.

At home, I was still dizzy and weak but my parents would assure me that I would feel better “kasi nalawayan na ako.” I would pretend to be okay because that was expected of me because “nalawayan na ako.”

Being prone to “usog” limited my exposure because my parents were afraid that if somebody that they did not know greeted me and made me sick, I would not be cured because “saan naman hahanapin ang nakausog?”

As a teenager and when I was becoming adventurous, they knew that the only way to protect me against “usog” was for me to wear anti-usog bracelet or stones. The stones were sewn on a red cloth and were supposed to be clipped on my clothes for my protection. Believe me, until now, my father reminds me to wear the anti-usog every time I get out of the house!

So why am I telling this story? I realize that aside from parenting style, I am no longer a believer of “usog.” My son probably caught a virus and since viruses are self-limiting, he felt better sooner than I expected. Looking back, I probably had a weak immune system so my body adjusted to new environments and reacted to it that was why I was prone to getting sick before.