The World of Second Chances

My Memories of BCYFI

September 26, 2017

Life & Love

Those were the years when I felt I couldn’t make it to college because my parents were struggling financially. My high school classmate, Rowena, showed me an application form. I was too naïve to even know what a scholarship grant meant. I thought those things were just for highly intelligent people; I never assumed to be one.

On that same day, after class, I went to the Bataan Library with Rowena to complete the requirements. We were given an exam schedule. At home, my mother was delighted to know that her daughter was trying her best to get a college education.

I couldn’t remember if the exam was before or after our high school graduation. I remember that it was a Sunday and my parents patiently waited for me at the park, just outside the library. It was a difficult exam; one that I did not expect to pass. After the exam, there was a brief interview held by Ms. Dang.

She asked me if I had a chance to pursue my college even if I failed the exam. I honestly answered “maybe not.” It was not because I wanted her to pity me or to accept me as their scholar; but because I believed that I had no chance to other scholarship grants. Fast-forward, I passed the exam and interview but Bataan Christian Youth Foundation Inc (BCYFI) had to put me under waiting list. This meant that I would have to wait until my second year of college to be able to have the scholarship grant or I had the option to delay my college for a year if out-of-our-pocket expense was not possible. We chose the former case, I went to Baguio in May of that year and I waited for a year for my scholarship.

Summer of the following year, I was visible during the BCYFI events. I wanted to make up for the lost times as I seldom went home when I was in college. I wanted so much to be part of our group; our group of hopeful and ambitious individuals. The best summer that I had was when I met the children of our Japanese sponsors. I wish that email and Facebook were already available at that time to nourish our budding friendship. Takayuki, Yoshie 1 and Yoshie 2 were the most memorable ones.

Ms. Annie (I am not sure of her position in BCYFI) told us that our RKK (Risho Kosei Kai) sponsors donate one meal budget in a day and the money that they were able to save were sent to the Philippines for our studies.

I had a happy two-years stay in the BCYFI group. My happy days were cut short by a personal issue and I felt really bad about it. I never went back to BCYFI not out of ingratitude but rather, out of shame.

I have always wanted to reconnect, to thank Ms. Dang, Ms. Annie and Sir Nestor for all the love, support and understanding but I never had the courage to simply go back to say those words.

Decades later, the 400+ scholars that BCYFI and RKK nurtured are united through a Facebook group chat to discuss our plans for the relocation of our beloved library/BCYFI building. Rina, a classmate and one of the most active scholars during our time, is hurting about the turn of events. To cheer her up, I told her that the relocation of the library/BCYFI building could be a blessing (or a blessing in disguise!) because if the scholars would be united to be part of the relocation and construction, then the new site would have been our legacy.
VHS

September 5, 2017

Wedding & Family Life

I don’t get it why newly-married couple Vicki and Hayden Kho are being ridiculed in social media just because they got married! Some people say that Hayden is just a gold-digging handsome guy with a history of infidelity but that story is so 9 years ago. One of the ladies involved is now a happy wife to a singer. The other one is now a happy mother to a beautiful little girl and Vicky and Hayden are now proud parents to Scarlet Snow.

Some people say that Vicki is too old for Hayden and she should be acting her age. Here comes the double standard when it comes to love. Men can love at any age while women are expected to “behave” once we reach the age of 50. Men can get away with a relationship with younger women while women are criticized if we will have a young boyfriend or husband. I think that the people’s perception of love is superficial; most of us fail to see the soul connection of two people who are in-love.

What I cannot stand is the way some people meddle into the couple’s decision to have a child through surrogacy. Others hinted that Scarlet may be Hayden’s biological daughter but the egg cell came from a donor. While I believe that she is 100% the daughter of this lovely couple, it doesn’t make her a lesser “Belo” if she doesn’t come from Vicki’s egg cell. Like what I said, people cannot see beyond the goodness of having a child; be it a natural child, adopted or one who was conceived through surrogacy.

Scarlet is her parents’ happy pill. Her big siblings love her. Her parents’ friends adore her. Social media is addicted to her. The little girl is a pleasant sight on the internet so why don’t we just focus on the good things instead of creating doubt and hurling insult?
When Ignoring Something Is The Best Thing To Do

September 4, 2017

Wedding & Family Life

I normally would react to any perceived injustices or biases especially when it involves my children. Then my level of reaction would depend upon the severity of the emotional damage to my children and as well as my children’s relationship with the offender. Among my children, I am most protective of my eldest simply because her circumstance is much different from her younger siblings. In her eyes, she probably sees me as a paranoid mother but in my eyes, I am just doing my job as a protective mother.

Without divulging all the details, I am hurt for her when I read about how her own blood from the other side of her family seemed to betray her. Good thing that I am past my impulsive years; else, I would have questioned the person involved “Why?”

I thought of brainwashing her to distance herself from the people that would not admit her existence in all her years on earth but that would be manipulating her and that would not let her grow on her own. I wanted to protect her feelings by just telling her to cut off her ties but I realized that maybe, it would have been better if she feels how they feel about her; instead of me giving her the answers.

On the other hand, I felt responsible for her hurt feelings because I asked her years ago to connect to them, to love them and respect them even if the love may not be mutual.

Lesson learned: you cannot force a connection. You cannot force love when it is not there in the first place. You just have to ignore whatever it is that hurts you and move on. There are a million people in this planet who can love you and will treat you as family. In the end, it is not our loss. We gave them a second chance at life and love and they just took it for granted. Some good-byes may not be forever but for the meantime, it’s good-bye.
Pork Menudo

August 26, 2017

Health & Beauty, Life & Love
Ingredients:

3 slices of lemon

1/2 cup soy sauce

1 kilo of pork, diced

1/4 kilo of pork liver, diced

2 large carrots, diced

2 large potatoes, diced

3 pcs garlic, crushed

1 medium sized onion, cut

4 pcs bay leaves (laurel)

1 table spoon black pepper

2 table spoons gourmet fish sauce (Barrio Fiesta)

2 cups Del Monte tomato sauce

2 table spoons cooking oil

1/2 cup water

Optional:

celery, chopped

2 pcs bell pepper, sliced into thin strips.

1/2 cup green peas
1. Marinate the pork with the lemon extract and soy sauce for at least 30 minutes.
2. Put some lemon extract on the liver, as well, to remove the “bloody” odor.
3. Saute the pork for 5 minutes with onion, garlic, black pepper and bay leaves. I include the black pepper and bay leaves to release their unique taste.
4. Pour the tomato sauce and 1/2 cup water and let it simmer for 20 minutes.
5. Put the fish sauce and liver and let it simmer for 5 minutes.
6. Put the vegetables and let it simmer for another 5 minutes.
In cooking, timing is everything. You don’t want to undercook your pork or overcook your vegetables. Menudo is a popular dish in the Philippines and it’s commonly served during birthdays or fiestas. Happy eating!
From Fried Fish to Fish Soup

August 23, 2017

Life & Love
At home, we normally have left-over food that I put in the refrigerator for breakfast. Last Sunday, we had left-over fried milkfish and fried round scad (galunggong). When I was about to re-heat them on Monday, they looked dry and hard so I thought of recycling them into another dish, instead of throwing them away.

Ingredients:

2 pcs. medium-sized sliced tomatoes

3 pcs. crushed garlic

1 pc. medium-sized sliced onions

1 tablespoon of gourmet fish sauce (I use Barrio Fiesta patis)

2 tablespoons of cooking oil

2 bundles of jute (saluyot)

4 cups of water

Instruction:
1. Saute garlic, tomatoe and onion. Do not burn the garlic.
2. Put the fried fish and saute for a minute.
3. Pour the 4 cups of water and let it boil.
4. Put some fish sauce.
5. Put the jute leaves.
6. Let it simmer for another minute.
Note: You can add other vegetables like squash and eggplant. Others use fish paste (bagoong) instead of fish sauce (patis). Be creative and customize according to your taste!

🙂
Deadbeat Dads

August 21, 2017

Wedding & Family Life

A deadbeat dad is categorized to be one who does not support his child/children financially. He could be a lazy father who assumed that it is the women’s sole responsibility to raise and support a child. He could be a selfish father who, in spite of earning well, is too tight-fisted to chip in. He could be a fashionista and jet-setter father who prioritizes image more than being a good father. He could be a bitter father who doesn’t care about his children after the separation or divorce. Of course, there are some fathers who would have wanted to support but they are constrained by circumstances to do so. These fathers bring their children to the park, treat them occasionally when there is money and they have genuine love and concern for their children.

To the parents and siblings of a deadbeat dad: the least that you can do is to show your love and concern to your grandchild or nibling. Believe me, the mother of your grandchild or nibling will not demand financial support from you especially if she is capable to raise her child by herself.

To the friends of a deadbeat dad: please, do not be a bad influence! If you think that hanging out in a bar with your deadbeat dad friend is cool despite knowing that he has financial support issues, you are just as part of the problem as he is. Real friends give advice no matter how unsolicited it is.

To the new girlfriend of the deadbeat dad: what’s there to be insecure of? Haven’t heard of a modern family set up? He is an ex for a reason so take your insecurities off and tell him to man up. What goes around comes around. If he was irresponsible to his first child, then chances are, he would be irresponsible to your future child.

To the wife of a deadbeat dad: your husband’s past is something that you should have accepted during your dating period, do not be unfair by tolerating his being a deadbeat dad. If your husband had the child while being married to you, do not be unfair by justifying that the child does not deserve any support. What if the same situation happens to your daughter or sister?

It takes a man and a woman to create a child but it takes a village to raise one. Be part of that village.

On Online Reselling and Pricing

August 18, 2017

Note: Pictures taken from the web.

My friend resells Richoco Big Rolls for PhP 139.00 each and Super Delight Brownie Bites for PhP60.00. I am surprised to see other online resellers selling these items at PhP200.00 and PhP 100.00 respectively!

		Reseller A		Reseller B
Item	SRP (PhP)	Reseller’s Price (PhP)	Profit	Reseller’s Price (PhP)	Profit	Price at 15% Profit (PhP)	Price at 20% Profit (PhP)
Richoco Big Rolls	100	200	100%	139	39%	115	120
Super Delight	50	100	100%	60	20%	57.5	60

For the sake of comparison, the table above gives us an idea about how much some resellers are making profit out of their self-proclaimed limited supply of these goods to the market. If that is the rule, then consumers must also be wise in spending their hard-earned money to make the best value out of it.

Consumers must check, check and check about the availability of the goods that he/she wants to buy. Do not believe that an item as rampant as the ones mentioned above is so limited as the appearance of the northern lights.

Check and compare with the other resellers about the price of the product. Check the label and as well as the expiration dates. As much as possible, transact with resellers that are known to you so that when there is a problem with the item, you can easily discuss it with them.

Consider buying wholesale from Duty Free or even at the grocery if you are really into an item. (To date, I have yet to see a Richoco and Super Delight on the display shelf of the grocery.)