The World of Second Chances

The Diskarte and Delihensya in Philippine Society

March 31, 2014

Life & Love

The AVP (assistant vice-president) of one of the departments of the company that I’m working for was presenting a new process. Sensing that the crowd gave him a lukewarm reception, he went straight to the point by saying, “Gusto ko na kasing itama whatever we are doing. Please, tama na ang diskarte!”

I wanted him to expound what he meant by “diskarte” and why he thought of it as something negative when my own experience with a friend reminded me about how we Pinoys thought of it.

Diskarte—make a way out of no way, pretend, solve the problem, never mind if it is not the best solution.

Diskarte—just like what my friend did, he pretended to be something that he was not by tampering his credentials so that he would be marketable to top employers.

Diskarte—solve the problem through band aid solution. The “pwede na yan” mentality of most of us.

Diskarte is delihensya’s close relative. My housemate in college freaked out when our landlady asked her to pay her rent by hook or by crook.

“Eh di dumilihensya ka!” the landlady said.

“Dumilihensya? Ano gusto nyo? Magpokpok ako?”my feisty housemate replied.

While I sympathized with the landlady for not getting her rent income on time, her choice of words left a bad impression on her.

Dilihensya is earning or producing money in a not so modest way.

So why are we immune to hearing these words? It could be because delihensya and diskarte have long been ingrained in our system that we fail to acknowledge that these are not really positive behavior. It all boils down to survival, actually. When one is faced with challenges and the resources are limited, one tries to overcome that challenge; never mind if it’s illegal or immoral.

Would it make a difference if there is genuine brotherly and sisterly love among us so that people would be more honest and helpful?

Would it make a difference if companies would stop discriminating applicants and welcome everybody who has talent and good work ethics?

Since we are members of this society, we are part of the problem so we should be part of the system change.

Let’s change our society for the better!
Adi is Most Cheerful!

March 21, 2014

Life & Love

Adi while looking at the fishes.

Last week, just like any other day after office, I opened my four-year old’s schoolbag to check for his teacher’s reminder. I was not expecting any academic awards from Adi because he was not focused on school. I guess, the more correct way of saying this is—I have accepted the fact that my son will not get any academic award for his first school year.

But really? Was that the case yesterday when I refrained from going to the stage with him just because the only award that he got was “MOST CHEERFUL?” Yeah, I knew about the special award two days prior to yesterday’s graduation. I expected something like “Best in English” or even “Best in Arts” but the least that he got was “MOST CHEERFUL!” What does it got to do with school?
I don’t know if my husband felt the same way. Anyway, he was the one who went with Adi on stage to receive the award. My officemate was pushing me to go to stage to join my “mag-ama” and she even grabbed my digicam to capture that supposed special moment but I was firm in my decision not to oblige. And you know, I realized that I made a very BIG mistake yesterday.

After receiving the award, Adi went straight to my location, showed me his medal and planted a sweet kiss on my lips. I realized that Adi treated the award as a precious gift he could give to his parents. I felt guilty for not going to the stage with them. I felt guilty for asking too much of his young mind. I felt like I would explode and make a scene yesterday!

How could I belittle such an award? “Most Cheerful”—the school said. How could I measure Adi’s progress and achievements on the academic level when having a high emotional quotient (EQ) is just as important as having a high IQ? Adi is a happy child—no more and no less. I don’t mean to say that his classmates are unhappy but my son’s cheerful disposition is just hard to ignore. My son is a happy person, period! And the school acknowledged it.

I kissed him before bedtime and whispered, “Thank you for the award, you made me proud and happy.” He smiled and said, “I love you, Mama.”
The Worst Case Scenario

March 19, 2014

Life & Love

I woke up at 1:00 AM this morning feeling nervous.
The reflection on the mirror looked like a white coffin floating.
I shuddered at the thought of the possibility that this could be a premonition that the
passengers and crew of the ill-fated MH370 were dead.
What if it was not an act of terrorism or anti-government plot?
What if there was really mechanical or electrical failure?

I have been following this story since last week and I feel for the passengers and crew
of the missing airplane. I feel for the young kids on board.
With 26 nations participating on the search and rescue (or could it be search and retrieval?),
I hope I’ll wake up with a good news that everyone in MH370 is safe.

Hoping.
Praying.
Empathizing.
Past

March 18, 2014

Life & Love

photo courtesy of careerealism.com

The landlord knocked on my door and gave me an ultimatum.

“You must pay your rent or else….!”

Confused, I thought of how many months I failed to settle my obligation. Six months! How could I forget to pay my monthly dues?

I called up my boyfriend to tell him about what happened. He said that he couldn’t come to comfort me. Busy, as usual. Amazingly, I did not make a big deal out of it.

“It’s okay, I can handle this,” then, I hang up.

While I was alone in the room, I realized that I left that place six years ago so how could my landlord ask me to pay for something that I discontinued to consume? I looked around and saw that I was sitting on our conjugal bed.

Then, I woke up. It was just a dream. Not exactly a bad dream but the type of dream that makes you nostalgic about certain events in your life. I examined myself if the dream hurt me or affected me. No, not at all. It was not the most pleasant of dreams for somebody who would like to live in the present but it was an eye-opener that I am now fully healed of the past.

I cried a river when the relationship did not work out and now I am crying tears of joy whenever I see my kids so cute and happy. I lost a lover but God provided me with a kind husband, somebody that I intend to be with for the rest of my life.

People come and go to our lives. Be thankful for the beautiful memories and the lessons learned. Life doesn’t have to stop from one painful experience. You’ll never know what you will be missing until you get in there. Stay happy!
MH370 Mystery

March 11, 2014

Life & Love

The fate of the 239 passengers of the Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 is still unknown. If the airplane nosedived on the sea, is it possible to reach the ocean floor without disintegration? The testimonies of the 19 families who tried to ring their loved ones and were able to connect added more to the mystery. Could they have been hijacked? But if they were hijacked, how come the plane went undetected on the radar?

I would like to believe that the plane landed safely on the forest of Vietnam but for sure, there would be no reception there so a missed call is not even possible. If there is reception, how come not even a single survivor texted for help? If the phone is still reachable, why don’t they track the location? If the plane disintegrated 35,000 feet above sea level, then why are the phones still reachable?

I feel for the families and friends of the passengers. May they find strength and acceptance whatever happened to their loved ones. I pray for the passengers and I hope that they are still alive and just stuck somewhere. I pray for the Malaysian authorities and the countries involved in the search and rescue to be given wisdom and guidance.
My Shift To Generic Drugs

March 7, 2014

Health & Beauty

I was not a fan of generic drugs until our company doctor prescribed a generic medicine for my upper respiratory infection last January. Not wanting to sound like a snob, I politely asked why he did not prescribe a branded one. He looked at me, that kind of look that seemed to try to control a laugh, before replying, “Why, you don’t believe in generic drugs?”

I reasoned out that I could not afford to be on extended sick leave so the efficacy of the drug was important to me. The company doctor assured me that the efficacy of the drug that he prescribed was the same as the branded ones except that they were not branded ones!

“Trust me. I wouldn’t recommend something that was not proven to be effective,” the doctor said.

With full confidence on the prescription, I bought the drug at Generics Pharmacy and I was surprised for the 40% cheaper price as compared to the branded one! I took the drug and I was glad that I followed the doctor’s advice because buying a generic drug was worth it.

I know that just like any other commodity, we have a preferred brand when it comes to medicines. I am sharing my experience to those who are open to change and to those with limited money but need to complete a prescription.

Try generics medicine. It’s worth it!
Money Vibes

March 6, 2014

Career, Finance & Product

IDCWordpress

I threw an old piggy bank last Saturday in my AIM to start thinking BIG when it comes to saving and earning money. Money is limited and how I wish that I could just buy all the things that I fancy about! How I wish that I could help more, give more and share more of my blessings to those in need!
Saving money is not foreign to me. I started saving when I was in grade school and spending them on good causes were the sweetest things that I remember until now. In my adult years when I became the front-liner in the economic battlefield, I had gains and as well as losses but I never stopped fighting for what I believe every man should aspire—FINANCIAL FREEDOM.

Money is limited and we are not born into wealth but it doesn’t mean that we will live from payslip to payslip forever. I attached a sample computation of how compounded interest works. I assumed a 2% interest rate, 2000 pesos as initial deposit and 12,000 pesos yearly deposit. By the end of the 15th year, I would have PhP210,216 in the bank. Therefore, to be able to hit a certain target savings on a particular target year, I would just manipulate row D5 and onwards to input how much should I save per year. I agree that banks do not offer the best “earnings” out of the money that we put into them but MOST of the people in the Philippines would rather do banking than investing their money somewhere else.

Saving and investing is the right formula to financial freedom and it works for most people I know. As soon as they build their target savings, they invest their other money on stocks, mutual funds or business venture to maximize the return of their passive income.

The key here is to create a VISION of how much money you would like to have after X number of years and everything will fall to its proper places later. Because a person who has adapted a culture of financial awareness will be more conscious about his cash flow, what his priorities are and how to earn more money.
Money is limited but as Bo Sanchez says, if we believe that we have unlimited sources of it, then we will attract it. I call this one “money vibes.”